E(xpe)dition the Second
: Meditations Upon Experiential Explorations :

AKA

Dreams Two
, Rough Draft the First
,
( approximately)
fourth edition andor version of Edition the Second
; see also [:[1]:]
{ : ¿ , ? : }

00027.02 | 0716 | 211 : path of , hm , the great muh , the :

0012 20110716.1622'uct'usa'oregon'corvallis'ah@

on taonga gement [:[2]:]

.
well-
cov{et|er)ed paths of
engagement
.
nor
goods we
lament
.

0015 20070716.0813’pdt’usa’oregon’corvallis’ah@

embedded services

.
“ teh
, great muh
” [:[3]:] , indicating of
importance
something
.

00027.02 | 0826 | 251 : communicative intercourse , comparative :

0009 19990825.0808’pdt’usa’or’corvallis’ah@

droplet flux

important
contrast
compared with
written things of
lesser
importance

0018 1970825.0722’pdt’usa’ca’muirWoodsValley’caminoDelCañon@

meowversation

Humorous explanation: normal astral behavior. Feline female enjoying convivial relationship with human male; diminishing unto infeasibility via repetition.

00033.02 | 0704 | 199 : mountain places level , views via :

0056 20020704.0743pdt’usa’oregon’corvallis’ah@

nigh lassen

. in a kitchen of she occasionally tending like unto
most any grecian goddess statue [:[4]:] plus maximal son
explaining how far back ‘i’ now can flip-kick with so minimal
a layer of intestinal flab , robust musculature , and gymnastic kitchen-counter back-flow-launch .

maximal son meanwhile meandering a ways back ,
safety.
[:[5]:]

0283 19990704^1125 pdt’usa’oregon’corvallis’ah@

heirs hers once upon a childhood’s

. upon a time somewhat earlier j & ‘i’ among lowlands
resembling some san francisco bay area , nigh
a lady of elderly attributes
asking those about her for
instructions . t'would have been impolite to
interrupt at such juncture , thus saying
nothing . the new now , however , including being in vicinity to
a mountain home inn upon the flanks of mount sleeping lady
whereupon meeting some few folk plus – quite remarkably
– the lady once again . on this second occasion contriving to horn in on
her conversation so to espy her map and the place to which
she wished access : an island within a bay , though
not quite the great bay as recollected from Here but , rather , a subset
thereof ; richardson bay let's say . ‘i’
interject so as to point out how
there were never roads directly leading to the object of
her journey . the isle in question ensuing
as though thus a scrap of unvoiced altercation
: j in coveralls meeting those and now-well-departed
next apple computer head ; r&d security issues plus a lady and
yet another man and another lady , perchance , who
: well, those men too wore coveralls , though the theoretical
mathematician's of leather , thus not directly comparable yet
the other man's of coloration and overall design
quite similar to j’s which is why it transpired that
i spent a goodly while so-comparing , requesting they
this way and that turn among such similar scenes traveling to
the abode of my mother of this lifetime
( knew not of our possible arrival ) involving
so wild a cross-country ride in trusty old
vehicle
.

00043.02 | 0905| 262 : thy neighbor's naughty gordian knife , covet knot :

0015 19980905i15_AH @

to affix upon a pretty peg , vague something golden

saith she

real bough or sham, know ye not
what or who I am
?

0028 20000905.1444’pdt’bliss state park (lake tahoe) ca @@0033~

maya significations

She tosses me the ruler which I catch left-handed Seeming the very significance I verbally impart to her due to our chiral sort of compatibility implicitly betwixt.

00049.02 | 1002| 289 : flicker , ribald :

0019 19991002.0839’pdt’usa’oregon’corvallis’ah@

humor lovers

Off-colour jokes told at what shall, at least partially, most assumedly have been a party not-yet-encountered.

As it were.

0030 19991002.1542’pdt’usa’oregon’corvallis’ah@

were we so where

Long wavy-haired Blonde half mirrored via reflections form via windows and similar appliances among and behind - amongst - which she happens to flit, lightning-like;
    ranch-style
     town-home
      too-intimately
     next door.

00052.02 | 1014| 301 : true (There ,) fallacies (Here) :

0025 20001014.1322’pdt’usa’oregon’corvallis’ah@

phallocentric ratio cognoscendi

It just so happens that my ϕαλλός can be any length I imagine. The ratio of width to length, however, to remain in essence constant.

0027 19981014w00_AH@

boom

A big “boom” - seemingly in or via what some term "the astral" - induces a return to the casually causal physical realm of experience. [:[6]:]

00064.02 | 0722 | 217 : of disguised conservativism , three bastions :

0012 20030722^0531’pdt’usa’oregon’corvallis’ah@

of face id , facile scourge

. facing
out we
men disguised
not
yet
, but
why
?

0052 20050722^0830’pdt’usa’oregon’corvallis’ah@

clan of

.
we small group . three . conservatives .
. though , on occasion , drawn away from .
. our conservative conversational stances .
.
. sprung back yet again stalwart or true .
. conscientious of our roles as .
. portrayers of a realm between
righteous and
self-righteous
.

00069.02 | 0706 | 201 : koi obligingly imprisoned , in pond are :

0034 20000706^0517’uct’usa’oregon’corvallis’ah@

rescuers , war among the

.
perchance saudi arabia think ‘i’
woman taken somehow captive and
, of three such men including me
, two her captors or potential
rescuers
.
so minimal a situational agency
having transformed me to mere
observer
.

0035 20010706^0837’pdt’usa’oregon’corvallis’ah@

copy its tome , to every

.
various
   folk in 'my' studio . some seemingly work for
   him ; 'my' surprise in discovering
   said woman working on
   clearly a rejected copy of
   my painting
" orange reflections with koi "
.

00070.02 | 1026| 313 : cargo cult of non-recollections :

0026 20021026.0426’utc’usa’oregon’corvallis’ah@0025~

runway foam

.
           flame retardant
or         merely
           foam flooding
a          playground surface
where a    gaggle
of         younger men practice
their      takeoffs and landings
in         swings
resembling
           aircraft
.

0044 20031026.1207’pdt’usa’oregon’corvallis’ah@0036~

interrupt us

.
in an unrecollected apartment
       up
some   outside steps
, the unrecollected d’rastaMom hears
a      car door sounding
on the street below
,      interrupting
       what we are
       doing or about to do
,      signaling,
as it does,
the    arrival home of
       daughter
       hers
.

00074.02 | 0820 | 246 : finite n-flux , another random infinitely-enfolded :

0028 19980820’0804’pdt’usa’or’corvallis’ah@Thu

origasmi

.
should
it happen
you carefully fold’em
just
so
,
they
can fit in
the
possibility
less than obvious
upon first being glanced among
we fleet-feated [sic]
photons
.

0046 19990820’0733’pdt’usa’or’corvallis’ah@

awaitin’

.
ascending
the lark compassionately avoids
hugs aplenty of
time
.
for what need be done
awaiting form
mom
,
self-
absorptions upon her
womb-resembling
universe
far better prepared
for most any next
time
,
yet
having been such a
one doing such
non-doings
nonetheless
.

00076.02 | 0904| 261 : menger's cubism , sink or :

0031 20020904 1404’pdt’usa’Nv’lakeTahoe’king’sBeach@

thou shalt Not kill apples in Eden, but ranching's okay per dominion

Picasso the artist is local, and we have some sort of interchange; a friendly-enough fellow he seems but, as is said, “kinda into his own trip.”

Then again, aren’t we all.

0045 20030904’0448’pdt’usa’or’corvallis’ah@

sponge chess

Round pieces like checkers on a board, round sponge pieces, each having a differing characteristic.

He positioned to get three in a row, instead falling into the swimming pool along the edge of which we played this game, thus not so much winning as swimming.

00081.02 | 1005| 292 : familial , our ladies of the inadvertently

0021 19971005.0518’utc’usa’massachusetts,lowell,bowdenSt @

imponderable infatuations , we of

A (tele)vision in which every TV program reminds me of the same remarkably intense, albeit transitory, personified point focal de l'engouement.

0060 19991005.0719’pdt’usa’oregon’corvallis’ah@

handful clearly

While visiting Tour Bus Model's home, her daughter and I exchange convivialities until I noticed a most considerable number of cups are needful of being placed deep within the sink's sudsy waters.

As if continuing our chat, she comments upon my placement - barely holdable by two large hands - in surprisingly risqué manner; Particularly considering her semi-tender years.

00096.02 | 0813 | 239 : no longer , desire-objects :

0027 19900813.0850‘pdt’usa’ca’sRosa’LillieDr’@

Shy ShaSha of bookstore

Who enjoyed hiding out back there behind knick-knacks and etceteras comprising myriad worlds. Trinkets of lifetimes gone by. The proprietor an interesting fellow in his own right.

0069 19900813.0757‘pdt’usa’ca’sRosa’LillieDr’@

macho cowpoke from shaSha

A big-rig cowpoke [:[7]:] driving his folks and me along in the big sedan of his heritage. ‘i’ gathering from his father's quiet demeanor that there was little we could do but observe in silent awe as his son did amazing things such as throwing out empty bottles in a way that induced them to careen off into the verdant countryside, to unerringly rebound into a nearby trash-receptacle.

00099.02 | 1017| 304 : lovely killer and|or similitudinous gift -ees or -ors:

0042 19981017.1503’pdt’usa’oregon’corvallis’ah@Sat

adaptations for four

We three have chipped in for a gift for a fourth.

In the local tradition the person we’ve all chipped in for will be necessitated to share with us.

Somewhat peculiar and also a question; is such a gift sufficient for four?

0057 19971017.0218’utc’usa’oregon’corvallis’BRidgeThu@

bipolar heroine of

B(are)iPolarItalianGirlOohLaLah and I stand in front of some mailboxes. Dense trees - due to mailboxes having posteriors - behind.

“Cut ‘m down,” says she of grove so thick.

I see that they create a darkness, yet prefer them standing.

Returning to "awake" consciousness accompanied by a mood: afear'd.

Fearful for whom? For each and all. [:[8]:]

00105.02 | 0911| 268 : nonetheless , concerning :

0056 19970911.0252’pdt’usa’or’corvallis’bRidge@

unter uber urban

Berkeley? Seattle?

J and I go for beverages. Coffee?

I have barely parked the car whereupon she disembarks, rushing around nearby corner.

¿ Perhaps she hurries due to it being late thinking they are about to close.

Perhaps my concern, in such a crude mix of urban and suburban, is due to the darkness about us.

0116 20000911.0113’utc’usa’or’corvallis’iZone@

trowel on mortar purgatory

Crowd scene rather resembling a crowd departing a subway with purgatory component; the hellish aspect having to do with folk having been involved in what appeared to have been a variety of “sinnish” behaviours Here - a place with a clearly hellish attribute or two - either alone or with one or two others.

Hierarchical three-star general trend toward all heading in the same general direction, toward and within some species of Purgatory.

Purgatory invoked in the sense of a place wherein one’s dross is cleansed away – the dross from being Here in This existence; prior to being adequately laundered so as to journey on; a slightly-more-exalted state in one's somewhat less-soiled state of laundered being.

00107.02 | 0808 | 234 : variations , gratitudinous :

0014 20000808.0652’pdt’usa’oregon’corvallis’ah@

depth of feeled , seams like

Lens sizes.
Shirt sizes.
How best to seem
one size off from
prior expectations.

0093 20020808.0709’pdt’usa’oregon’corvallis’ah@

boxy

.
who
knows then
what hinges upon
such a fact of noticing
her there and, thankful for
prior assistance
by her so adroitly given, driving
one's boxy pre-SUV 4WD over wrong way
curb and squeeze [:[9]:]past
, full outdoor parking lot
, hilly treesome ambiance
, to her to get to there
be prior to departure
hers
?
further
then who knows what
hinges upon such
a fact as
this , that
one gives then unto her
a little metal box
, hinged of lid
, my token of thanks
for
.

00110.02 | 1007| 294 : two ways about it , snow :

0037 19981007.1024.coer’’pdt’usa’oregon’corvallis’ah@

skiing back , a thought of

.
to see   in
         infrared
   these snowy
passes – thoughts
         he is
that   . such a
    pass might look more interesting
       ; thinking
I am
    just such pure white snow
yet would not            snow look
          entirely
          black
?

0073 20011007.0238’pdt’usa’oregon’corvallis’ah@

remote yet competitive humor

.
    remote
and distant land or
    along
the coast
of Alaska
.
the        competition
is         getting
           fuel up
so         steep
a          mountain
and then   back down
to         sea-level
,   thence into a vehicle
of         sea
or         land
.
perhaps some further refining
,            peculiar chemical modification
might be yet necessary
.
a       seemingly
        peculiar
,       personally humorous
        hidden agenda
on the part of such
a       fellow
, in   charge
of such eventualities
.

00111.02 | 0707 | 202 : fluid mechanics , ecumaniacally economic :

0055 20020707^0800’pdt’usa’oregon’corvallis’ah@

events , current

. a
difficult
form of endeavor
, not immediately yielding
results as
a fellow ,
asian - j
& he -
& ‘i’ too sit upon
a platform beneath
a surface as
he teaches her how
best to dip one's
face therewithin
, to thereby peer at
all the currents
threadlike thereunto
flowing
.

0056 20030707^0732’pdt’usa’oregon’corvallis’ah@

flame , mammoth font to the

.
the
creation of a font in
the spirit of a dollar bill
; the font of mammon worship
, apparently an appropriate
appropriation
.
though
whether it
, instead of a buffalo
, portrays a wooly mammon
, think ye who is yet alive
to so recall
so famished
a moth to the
flame
?

00116.02 | 0721 | 216 : techo-pop espionage , fishy :

0037 20020721^0246’pdt’usa’oregon’corvallis’ah@

transPop

The Automated Translator keeps interjecting a cute little Fish Blowing Bubbles , or Small Fish Leaping From Lake , sound. [:[10]:]

Yet, though repetitive and cute, not quite what might be described as a perfect translation.

0079 19980721g36_AngelsHome

the more-clever , the somewhat-clever saved by

In Russia; perhaps former Soviet Union.

A small group of us amble along, engaged in exigencies of espionage, presumably having to do with nuclear power, seeming more tour group than international sophisticates.

One of our members saved from being exposed and worse by the coincidental appearance of a famous Russian scientist who covered for the faux pas of said member.

Something to do with a vending machine, a cluster of narrow-diameter extruded wires or, more likely, some combination thereof.

00117.02 | 0713 | 208 : farce , deadly :

0031 19960713^08580012

lyrical sandbox saints

.
native
             forever
sabbat            , and also how ?
and now just what                , this
digging in dirt for
sandbox
neighbors
.
for
three-dimensional
, too such are our
labor(s)
.

[:[11]:]

0086 20010713^0547’pdt’usa’oregon’corvallis’ah@

performance sports

.
famous
actor ,   also
well known personality
heads hither and yon
under an influence : malady
or perchance
drug
.
splashes
he through shallow waters as
a certain lady
  perchance a fleeting instantiation of
his overself
             rushes after , attempting to
help
.
perhaps
due
to
.
rifle bullets
cognized as 27 millimeters in caliber or
so to be carefully placed in
leather loops   despite voiced concern
regarding antiquity
plus concomitant critical discernments as to
their worthiness under duress plus most
any associated
danger
.

00118.02 | 0709 | 204 : further father's son's un , spacesuitable pranayama of :

0037 20010709^0728’pdt’usa’oregon’corvallis’ah@

grafting's budding

.
attempting
explaining
to most any alternative stepDad
sadly deceased version though
happily rather more my father than
a similarly-deceased biodaddy
why his primary of several professions
'twas , stone mason ,
a profession most
noble
.

0081 20050709^0359’pdt’usa’oregon’corvallis’ah@

luckier happenstance , pneumatically

.
among
other resemblances
vacuuming via
utilizations various
suitable placements of
mouth upon long flexy
  tube so as to , at a minimum , blow into
open spacesuits innocent of
passing obscenities
though
  contemporaneous via
  suitably surprised
  expressions (of)
  such-and-so's space-suit's
intentionality of keeping its
soulish interior
similarly - so blowing and sucking
in styles primarily pulmonary - alive
and evolving as if
time exists so that space suits too
evolve via life-keeping
facilitations; suchlike somethings
smacking of scuba similitudes
.

00121.02 | 0828| 254 : groups , competitive affinity :

0033 19980828.0642’pdt’usa’or’corvallis’ah@

multitudinous dorsals , how cute their

Something nothing everything.

In the water are many little fins.

Ought ‘i’ go in?

True, they are sharks, but only baby sharks.

Not much like barracuda or piranha.

Circling within patiently-waiting ever-changing waves.

0088 20020828.1228’pdt’usa’or’corvallis’ah@

competitive haha , playground of

All of us being neither too young nor too old. Youngish.

Laughing, running, leaping, competing.

J participates well, and also another youngish lady with whom ‘i’ immediately experience a great affinity; spontaneous mutual laughter.

The three of us make thus our way through so dusky a course, up various hills and vales, past folk not dissimilar to ourselves -- gatekeepers and challengers creating conflicts and difficulties for us, that we might thus partake of adequate adversities, sufficient unto the nature of our quest.

We of this, our race.

00128.02 | 0725 | 220 : subterfuge and misdirection , diversionary :

0034 20030725.0645’pdt’usa’oregon’corvallis’ah@

significance of minor functions

. the other two members of the team , woman and man , will do the actual confrontation ; my job is merely that of drawing the mechanistics away via this diversionary tactic or that .

. thus , on ever-steepening mountain hillside sliding and cascading in ever-greater implacable velocity along a chute of deep snows . so many yet to experience such a deep white-on-white upon a still-whiter-yet .

. all nonetheless presumed to be functioning properly , despite such minimal contrast .

0094 19990725.1031’pdt’usa’oregon’corvallis’ah@

heliocentric pharmaceutical habitations

. pretending to be an attorney on 'my' way into the office ; some member of the staff ‘i’ was pretending was 'my' own took umbrage , apparently testing 'my' right to be there by asking who some of our clients might be .

. ‘i’ responded by growing offended at his impertinent impudence , immediately making it clear the governor’s son had fallen afoul of the law and had therefore been sent by his dad to partake of our gifts .

. that how ‘i’ had breached onward through such massive doors .

[:[12]:]

00137.02 | 0901| 258 : pursuit , haute : [:[13]:]

0016 20090901.0644'California,Petaluma,lovinYa Ranch@

theme’s ongel of light

.
ditty
    plus four
    sassy purveyors
of
    order
and
justice
;
sauntering
along being
tough
.

0121 20030901.0821’pdt’usa’or’corvallis’ah@ 0104~

banned gift

In the restroom the messenger, a lady wanting to talk, joins the other two of us, forcing his way in.

He’s the sort of famous actor who I can’t quite remember, yet know one when I see one. He is dressed rather convincingly as a tallish woman, with strange symbols on his shirt denoting something of importance.

A group of police, more-or-less emulating the Keystone Cops, led by a lady detective, are in pursuit of him -- perhaps because they perceive a woman entering the men’s room. I inform their leader that they’ll have to send in a man, since the room has gender preferences; she backs off enough to gain us a lull should further communication arrive before further reinforcements.

00138.02 | 0803 | 229 : shards , doctor of :

0058 20030803.0532’pdt’usa’oregon’corvallis’ah@

oopshar obstacle gate , bloody-minded

. another and ‘i’ encounter and engage
a very large
brittle pseudo-randomly platelet-stacked
clamberable-over
obstacle gate
. note
: in so clambering
certain politenesses need be maintained
regarding one’s clambering-partner's well-being
, even if moments wherein
an underlying unsapient viciousness would rather
their entire stack merely
tumble over sideways
, slicing their anamayakosha
into soft shards
. Oops.

0080 20020803.0742’pdt’usa’oregon’corvallis’ah@

checkup , comely

Despite initial hesitancies, ‘i’ decide to take advantage of the itinerant doctor’s presence after all.

Since
, as is traditional
, j & ‘i’ had become inadvertently separated
, she seemingly headed South
, ‘i’ too eventually similarly
, bypassing petite nubile throng plus
   barely-visible feminine apparition
   just behind her standing among
   many others too wishing
   rides there upon
   most any freeway onramp
. we all , after all
, needing now and again a
checkup
.
do we
?

00141.02 | 0714 | 209 : face to face to :

0028 19980714.0021’uct’usa’oregon’corvallis’ah@

so (our) node

.
in
astral or vaguely-higher
dimensionality of
derivative intimacy
within andor upon
a derivative of an integral of
a dove rescuing
new york artist's
thespian daughter's
mother
.

0113 19830714^2125'uct'usa'california'sonomaCounty [:[14]:]

getting 'my' new face

.
after
doing my work
'twas time to
put            on     my new
face
. . .
good
doctor
      had fixed up
a nice one
based on
the one my own which
he'd temporarily put on
earlier
.
recursion
repeat
.
seeing said face
{ my face & thus my face-to-be }
reflected within low-
set building's display
window
. . .
jostling
myself about
, jostling
  familial acquaintances
so as to overlay my face('s reflection) upon
the face on
  display ; new face matching old face
, and of certitude
lighter
~
wishing
to bring this to
doctor's close-cropped busy
attention , yet he had meanwhile mostly vanished
into realm un-
attainable
.

00141.02 | 1008| 295 : recollections , awkwardly-juxtaposed :

0039 19971008.0940‘pdt’usa’oregon’corvallis’briarRidge’wed@

kindly bent to be so young upon

Kindly older lady teaches our classes quite well, as if in contrast with the once again revisited situation of a young fellow’s embarrassment upon mentioning - again reasonably implying having once again recollected - his run-in with the law.

0102 20001008.0257’pdt’usa’oregon’corvallis’ah@

ponderable pony puddle

Driving rapidly over the low pass of the large hill, through heavy rain.

A realm wherein pleasant, though somewhat wildly-feather’d, birds are perhaps large enough to take on and devour a human; not that I’ve ever heard of that happening.

Thus, in attempting to avoid the water-filled pothole by which a little band of various horses, apparently in the process of breaking through the constraints of their fences, stand in dangerous disarray.

Not the best situation in which to have become stranded, carless, supine nigh that smallest of ponds, holding my arm upward in the hope of drawing attention to my plight.

00146.02 | 0907| 264 : me , joyously troublesome :

0060 19970907’1041’pdt’usa’or’corvallis’bRidge@

thanks o divinely-parental joy-giving one

.
though
       merely
         most tangible wraith
,        milk
da     m'Uffin frame-maker landscape-architect
         apparitional
, in     doorway appears
as     hypothetical alternative version
of     This precise home
       speaking
so     great
a        love for
     the alleged
me     induced unto
so     tangible
a        feeling
of     truth deeply inducing
to the I
of     Here
         returned
in
a        state as described
,       most remarkably
joyous
.

0086 19980907’0832’pdt’usa’or’corvallis’ah@

tendencies , bad

‘twas bad enough that I did “something wrong.”

What’s worse is how I must pay the fellow considerable monies to document my mistake; he taking close-up photos of the wall where the trauma occurred.

To me the wall looks quite bare. Apparently only he has the capability of finding the exact spot. Most peculiar but hey.

Only afterward, pulling out onto the street, that second trauma per needing to cut across heavy traffic in trending left; via an inlet designed to tending to trend one rightward.

00146.02 | 1027| 314 : purposeful , investigations :

0042 199810270^i07@

brief absent-minded search algorithm allegory

Looking for my check via a spatio-temporal representation resembling College of Marin.

Of the sort where "‘twas in my pocket just a moment ago."

As another had departed, I was necessitated to search my surroundings and self: shirt pocket, table-top, et cetera.

0104 19971027^0718’mdt’Mon’usa’colorado’aromaticEstates@

circumpolar

“So you can get in here by driving south from El Paso?”

The gentleman asked a number of similar questions regarding the area we were in, just on the border; south by south-east of Yosemite.

The roads were eroded down to rocks and smooth-topped roots in places; a recent heavy rain might have done that.

Despite the peculiarity of his questions he then said he would buy the property and move in, my thoughts resembling, "Humble me never buy such property."

He was seemingly from Texas, a wee bit like some Bell Labs ASIC-designer-cum-45-calibre-duelist and, compared to me, certainly had a lot of money.

00154.02 | 0730 | 225 : one's worth , (im)proving :

0033 199807300i03a_Angels’Home @

return to high path.

After wandering lower on the path through the trees , ‘i’ discover an upward path taking us back to the earlier path upon which , originally , she - j - wished to travel. [:[15]:]

0121 199807300i03e_Angels’Home @

valuative self-(ne)gating function

The young man experiences all sorts of difficulties, some of them car troubles.

He is thus - among other things - necessitated to return to the back of the incredibly long line again and again.

The father of the bride meanwhile considers - albeit with a bit of skeptical sarcasm - that perhaps the young man has enough persistence to win his daughter in marriage after all.

There are those who plausibly wonder exactly what he sees in the young lady.

There are also those who plausibly observe that it is the enormous effort necessary to win her that bestows her with such perceived value. And, more importantly, makes it unlikely he would again pay such a price to seek another.

00155.02 | 1031| 318 : merely probable transient topicality , transitioning atop (most) any :

0060 19981031.0804.BigIsland (Local Time) Toucie’s Home@

imum cœli

this notion, we three...
colors...
so iridescent and
so
death (may unto) us (de)part,
perceived as
a recapitulation
of all such journeys
   one’s life;
something
of a
   summing up
.
and as for   superstructure
    a bit    of       fear
regarding   going          over
to           so        very high
a place,
although obviously     made      for
being
too                    high      and
.
so at                  risk
.

0095 20021031.0714’pdt’usa’oregon’corvallis’ah@

an anonymity of civil works

The street renovation metaphor : God’s Work via rectangular excavation so large
that
.
The lady with what I take to be her several young girls on
the multi-rider tandem bicycle
,
the hill so steep that
they of certaitude [sic] cannot apply enough force to overcome
their combined mass in
the grip of
the great consolidator. Gravity
.
Thus rushing out from outdoor café to give
the bicycle a boost; a bit of a push
the short distance to
the crest of the hill; an anonymous effort. Generally
the best kind by far
.

00159.02 | 0824 | 250 : diminutive friendships , seldom-seen moods of :

0075 20040824.0522’uct’usa’or’corvallis’ah@

0084 20040824’0928_ah

alternative realities , another reality's

Game-theoretical backpacking economist in what ‘i’ tend to consider a reality, but more properly might be called an irate dream, wherein the government has come to encroach upon his fields of mind-altering substances.

He - with a surge of emotion uncharacteristic of his instantiation in This branch of experience - rises from his folding chair in the rough auditorium to impinge upon the personal space – to get in the face – of the officer of the government.

An angry surge of physicality and vocalized rage.

00160.02 | 1004| 291 : procedures , improper :

0076 19971004.0702’pdt’usa’oregon’corvallis’briarRidge’Sat@0032~

in , sun the sky is

In the Theater, while waiting for the movie to begin, Brilliant Santa Rosa Marriage, Family and Child Counselor plays the part of a rather naughty lady; for example a mother who slept with her adopted son. In some cultures a situation no doubt punishable by any manner of heinous human inventions masquerading as authoritative edicts per prior pacta sunt servanda.

Within That context, however, merely a contextual oddity inducing a harbinger state of consciousness presaging who-knows-what.

0084 19971004.0811’pdt’usa’oregon’corvallis’briarRidge’Sat@

our lady of credit card signatures

True, she is affable, yet is not partial to where I’ve signed the credit card slip, due to my signature partially covering over something else thereupon.

I ask her where I ought to sign, she replying that some do it over here, indicating up the left side.

This seems pretty remote from the official signing area, yet I duly note such information, some ambiguity attending to the resultant outcome, if any.

Lack of any well-appointed sense of particularity as to subsequency perhaps the point.

00172.02 | 0922| 279 : assassin nor lover , neither :

0075 19970922.1158’pdt’usa’oregon’corvallis’ah @

thwart unbrokered

A group of men make their way by forcing their way into my home; intending me ill.

Their intentions thwarted by the fireman’s helmet sitting on my floor with a tastefully-unarranged companion object of glass, upturned in the style of a large brimmed bowl. Just like my favorite color: transparent. Also crystalline.

As is apparently usual under such circumstances - of being whatever version of ‘i’ I happen to be - feeling unperturbed. At ease.

0097 19970922.1226’pdt’usa’oregon’corvallis’ah’Mon@

alternative self(s) , plasticities of memos to

I am merely mortar and grout, yet remember her - actually your - robotic lover; Romanian of course.

Afterward, after you have mentioned me being a “floare” in your “gradina,” among all your other collected “floricele” - please excuse any anglification [:[16]:] - we lie thereabout, my eyelashes fluttering in what was not intended as a sort of hilariously terrifying butterfly exploring one of four available cheeks.

Difficult to remember which specific juxtaposition, in such later times as these: lissome lilies, soft pearlescent bulbs, or mere images dripping down sides of slightly-nibbled honey pears.

[:[17]:]

00184.02 | 1003| 290 : non-ordinary skills , unintended consequences of :

0062 20001003.0721AM’pdt’usa’oregon’corvallis’ah@0061~

repairing another lost hierarchy

We did not get along so well at first, yet eventually The Man Who Liked Repairing Motorcycles and I developed a working relationship.

Philosophical pragmatics still being discussed, yet nonetheless my status as something along the lines of a working apprentice to his motorcycle-repair business.

A residual resemblance to a cognitive flavor; the flavor of Jesus Christ on a Motorcycle. [:[18]:]

0122 19971003.0809’pdt’usa’oregon’corvallis’BriaR’Fri@

Birdly telepathics

‘Twas the sort of time whereat a seagull-mutant bird had a goodly grip on the seat of my pants, a tenacity more typically ascribed to a pit-bull.

A situation necessitating firmly grabbing it round about beak, it notably refusing still let go, instead sending me some thought-speech: how it won’t go for a certain other nearby part of my anatomy for such-and-such reasons.

Just before returning to the physical, I pre-awaken and reach behind to grab it about its body that both hands together can encircle.

Though this causes it to flap its wings up and down with considerable vigor, still it does not release its grasp.

That inexplicably inducing a brief reflection upon the ticklish nature of pit gulls. [:[19]:]

00184.02 | 1011| 298 : the other thing , why is that more significant than :

0074 20011011.06:20’pdt’usa’oregon’corvallis’ah@

okay but so what?

Noticing one of two essentially identical instant-food packets is priced 50% higher than the other, i mention this to the two folk behind the simple counter. Although they are dealing with several customers, the young lady of Asian, seemingly Chinese, descent responds, though at first in a mild, almost dismissive, manner.

Then, after i’ve walked back to the rack where i’d found them, acquiesces, saying i can have them both for the lower price.

0110 19991011.0813’pdt’usa’oregon’corvallis’ah@

yeah but what happened?

Driving a bit too rapidly on a road through a climate I variable perceive as tropical, sub-tropical, and verdantly Californian -:- aware that the accident will happen before it does but, as though due to some peculiar algorithmic glitch, ignore such a deeper, almost visceral, comprehension.

So off we go among trees and weeds at high rates of speeds, over and down an embankment, moderate and slight as to slope.

One would think the accident would be most problematical, yet the real hassle has more to do with dealing with the highly provincial local folk of ingrown mannerisms. Inconsiderate propensities.

Touch-and-go for awhile; turning out well enough in the end.

00190.02 | 0921| 278 : babies once or more , all we combatants were : [:[20]:]

0008 19990921.0803’’pdt'usa'oregon'corvallis'ah@

arms , cradle of

To carry just so a baby in arms.

0182 20020921.1121’pdt’usa’oregon’corvallis’ah@

we pieces scan slightly our local abyss

In a marriage between consciousness and a predominately-inherited image of the world the example of an old vehicle -:- replacing each feature, sub-unit by subunit; the squares of a board game.

Give us this day our daily task; in this event espionage; my contribution most attenuated.

I tend to do more, yet the load need be shared among our team.

In quick curvet, I jump, mildly gymnastic, up onto a ledge announcing a small window area, closer to window, viewing thus further, thereby coming to be one giving better advice regarding what lies beyond the glare of complex shore before distant cliffs.

T’was a window of only a couple of feet in height due to its proximity to the ceiling, though large enough to allow more than one supine adult human of we the ruggedly individualistic - which is to say well-quantized - variety.

Once ready to depart, the fellow of vaguely foreign implication or visage shows up to take away the trash mostly consisting of various obscure scribblings created while planning whatever incursions await; I wondering whether he’s been properly vetted.

00190.02 | 1018| 305 : overhead things , poorly functioning :

0051 20001018.0742’pdt’usa’oregon’corvallis’ah@

departures and their observers

I, a guest of Krippa and her family, am upon the top bunk from which, much to my frustration, I am having difficulty succeeding at an appropriate aerial dismount.

I therefore stay up there and participate little, contenting myself with watching.

Her mom is meanwhile leaving; bowing out of the situation.

0139 19971018.0251’pdt’usa’oregon’corvallis’ah@Sat

bastardly brutish

Being, as was once my won’t, and that of many other , unnecessarily critical of J : she thinking using an umbrella is not such a great idea. I think we should.

Since it blows inside-out while she’s holding it and gets subsequently discombobulated, I engage the derisive, conveniently ignoring that we would have done better had we followed her lead.

Her feelings understandably hurt.

“Nobody likes ...[something], Lurpher.”

“What did you say?” mumbles she something sounding different.

“What? What did you just say?” We are walking past some other folk

She adds something regarding knowing it wouldn’t work, due to her experiences in Massachusetts.

Upon returning Here, feeling very sad for her; wishing to "teach" her how to be liked and loved. Feeling the strong desire to protect her.

Considering also what an idiotic jerk I can be.

00192.02 | 0923| 280 : well-regarded , previously ¿ :

0017 19970923.0526’pdt’usa’oregon’corvallis’ahSat@

good fiddler

Tam High's competitive swimmer, violinist and, eventually, VP of computational hardware design;[:[21]:] withal quite a guy.

0175 19980923r16_AH @

A guest no longer preferring to visit

An apparently-parallel universe, on the deck wrapping at least half of the main building of Rocking Horse Ranch, noticing one of the couple whose place it was driving home through trees below the house in an old VW bug.

As the deck had no railing, there was some concern regarding the considerable drop, particularly as the deck was in places quite narrow.

Once parked, she walked into and about another group of trees - the scraggly semblance of an orchard down-slope from the house - I meanwhile lying upon the deck as though napping, hoping she would see my rust-orange rain shell before she came in, to be thus aware of my presence. Also hoping I might melt away before her return.

Unlike Here when last interacted with, her hair was quite short. She was apparently imbibing something producing a brownish smoke tended to momentarily curl and linger near her face; for no particular reason assuming it was cannabis sativa or indica that she was inclined to partake while wandering through their garden. [:[22]:]

00199.02 | 0731 | 226 : criminal universe , hypothesizing a sometimes :

0093 19980731i19_Angels'Home @

judge not lest

In my special status ‘i’ have certain capabilities and powers.

An example being my ability to get to the tall old house arising from Across the Street on Goodly Grounds is remarkable, there near trees; perhaps a river.

“The police” are, however, meanwhile busily making up new laws in ad hoc manner. To thwart what they perceive of as a threat to their reparatory state of being; their shared template of allowable normalcy.

Though finding their tendencies and actions annoying, ‘i’ wonder whether ‘i’ am in some way perhaps not so very dissimilar.

0106 19990731.0810’pdt’usa’oregon’corvallis’ah@0116~

light variations

.
“Set
this up for me, would you Joe?”
The attenuated crackle of
another fellow's response; “Okay.”
Handing over a device of specified mode, communicative.
Walkie-talkie or, should you so wish, a cellular phone.
Or, in something of a transmogrification of
condensates of light, he
walks rapidly into an intersection’s worth of
heavy traffic to meet, as if synchronistically,
that heavy old car, surging
righteously into the scene to convey
appearances of attempting, he, running
close nigh its frontmost aggression
that his family receive presumptions of resultancies
: insurance monies
yet residues of feeling indicate
a situation both simpler
and more complex
than merely
that
.

00200.02 | 0830| 256 : machistas , casualmente :

0088 19990830.0915’pdt’usa’or’corvallis’ah@

male unbonding

My step-dad amidst a group of men standing in their grupo de machos. Said dad has quite a number of sons, among whom am I, a non-son.

I nonetheless experience his fatherly contribution to my life and so, as a cluster of us depart, ‘i’ say “So long, Papa,” choosing the word “Papa” only because it feels right. [:[23]:]

He tosses his head back a bit in silent acknowledgement – as though somewhat touched.

Then the truck transporting we of a less testosterone-informed phenomenology, somewhat more at ease.

0112 19990830.0804’pdt’usa’or’corvallis’AllannBros@

sales force

In a somewhat classy gambling joint, dark and high. Lit shiny and obscure, the man in sailor suit. Except it isn’t, it’s a suit in which he makes sales - let’s hypothesize food stuffs, and ‘i’ rather a customer of his, though ‘i’ don’t know to properly leave dimes in the gutter running about the edge of the bar over which he serves and, presumably, presides; the theatre of his view of the this an’ the that.

His desultory comment or two gives rise to my realization regarding the correct action per his lights; thus do ‘i’ leave a dime or two. Of course awkwardly, capitalistically, reflectively andor reflexively, plus pleasantly obdurate.

00201.02 | 0729 | 224 : non-advantageous covenants , empowered levities of :

0086 20050729^1228’edt’canada’ontario’toronto@

conditioning vs the unconditional

.
regarding
pleasures regarding
rising into the air upon
various ropes
, practiced by
an entire school or
small
community
.
and
how the British Diesel
has so much more power
as remarked to the random
Englishman
–
plus
the seeming impossibility of
passing the given test ; administered
more methinks as a form of
discipline , than any actual education
, whence one might speak of
cantilevers , counterbalances , and
mysterious anomalies of levitation
whereas such things might as
well (have) remain(ed) mere
irrelevancies
.

0115 20050729^1044’edt’canada’ontario’toronto@

ownerisms resultants

.
within
     the Great Crowd
a    tendency to somehow
negotiate ; in this event for
a    software position which
by way of
     agreement
    take out thine pen , say
"    Here, write it down that
I    agree not to attempt to utilize
my   advantage to make
the sale of certain software tools
–    that the Company would thereby
   purchase         .”
:
predominately
   men of Indian origin -
a    rather nice group reminiscent of those
   visiting the Hugging Mahatma last night
,    one fellow in particular acting as though
a    request for such
a    written document is unorthodox to say the least
,    yet all so involved press forward
,    voting with their feat [sic]
nonetheless
.

00213.02 | 0918| 275 : long and short , slumbers :

0077 20020918.0413’pdt’usa’oregon’corvallis’ah@

sidesaddle driver

Driving along, sitting sidesaddle in the vehicle, with a length of 2x4 extending down to hold the accelerator in place as I drive through the grassy hills of the pleasant vista.

Many people thereabout – older women in particular – can be observed having a tendency to go to sleep at the wheel.

Perhaps that explains the abundance of so many vehicles off to the side of the way.

Parked at peculiar angles beyond shoulders.

At rest amid vales.

0136 19990918.0346’pdt’usa’oregon’corvallis’ah@

re-returned

A young version of J is a few flights up in a child’s version of a multi-story home, I requesting that someone help me extricate her andor get her to safety.

As though in contrast, a dolphin -- who, for unknown reason, I think of as One of Two Dolphin(s) who happen to be in my Care -- passes on outa Here at the bottom of the pool. Most likely due to the liquid therein being fresh, rather than salt, water.

It’s lies on the bottom on its side, a small blood-in-the-water cloud near its nose.

A customary loop paradox ensues, consisting of having just noticed its death while removing a green-and-white pinstriped lounge-chair cushion from thereabouts while, simultaneously, covering up my culpability for the ghastly situation I am only just in the process of discovering.

00215.02 | 1022| 309 : helpful reminders , reminders of :

0077 20001022.0842’pdt’usa’oregon’corvallis’ah@

surreptitiously helpless

Driving the little truck down a sufficiently-treed valley way, chancing upon a semi-trailer parked by road, a few men attempting to unload a resemblance to an extra-large, somewhat rusty, 50-gallon drum.

It is on a small secondary trailer behind the long flatbed, and the men are having difficulties therewith.

Sensing both that they would like my help, and also that I have no particular help to offer, I somewhat surreptitiously return upward, from whence I almost arrived.

0138 19971022.0939’pdt’wed’usa’oregon’corvallis’BRidge@

vividly poignant

Entities strongly resembling d’Mileau, plus one I presumed to be her consort appeared, emanating bhavas experienced as - felt to be - loving-kindness. Directed toward me.

He mentioned he would be going away for awhile, saying - or very strongly implying - that she could use my company in general, and particularly in his absence.

Although I returned to normative consciousness feeling suffused with love and happiness, I wondered what might come of it all -:- thinking it most unlikely we would ever meet again in This life and, even if we did, would most likely not acknowledge - or even recognize - one another.

I also wondered whether they were deep versions of themselves, in the sense of slightly higher-dimensional, fully OverSelfian versions, or what.

Or, in a more non-linear mode of expression:

. d'ekmoo .

00216.02 | 0927| 284 : inadvertently enjoined , luxuries of courses :

0037 19990927.0603’pdt’usa’oregon’corvallis’ah@

miss spell

She imagines, so desiring, a particularity of lubricative lotion rubbed each unto the other’s skin as we meanwhile stand pressed nigh, embodied in our not-quite-union of smoothly mutual tolerable glow; such youthyness obviously some sort of misspelling.

0179 19990927.1105’pdt’usa’oregon’corvallis’ah@

dial-a-reality

Driving angelCar upon an overcrowded roadway leading steeply down nigh the checkout-stand of an elaborate but quite normal store resembling a supermarket.

Having apparently dispensed with any mundanities of having actually stopped or shopped, i nonetheless purchase a great many things, among which are two large skateboards that i decide to not acquire after all, suddenly guilt-ridden regarding the self-indulgences of what i presume to be my state of hyper-affluence, that apparently also includes a suite of friends readily manifested on demand, they pulling their pickup van through a border crossing with elaborate lanes leading - we are led to believe - to various foreign destinations.

I had neither intention nor desire to follow yet, once in such a lane, there is nowhere else but to where it leads.

My friends are passed through with a few exchanged phrases, whereas angelCar and i become the subject of what seems a normal yet extensively boring search, receiving questions regarding my actual home based upon a phone number list handwritten upon a scrap of fray-edged synthetic cloth; likely from my wallet.

00220.02 | 0811 | 237 : the ontological , hammering logically on to :

0041 20020811.1648’pdt’usa’oregon’corvallis’ah@

largesse

He guards the place per his propensity.

When queried about his
extremely large - 88 caliber - ceramic and
extremely-hollow-point bullet
, he wants to explain in intimate detail:
would ‘i’ perhaps enjoy
the feeling of
it tearing through my flesh?

0190 20020811 0638’pdt’usa’oregon’corvallis’ah@

pleasant parade of paradoxical parables

‘Tis a serious problem, although, being of such and such propensities in such and such in instantiation as is so, ‘i’ tend to take it rather more lightly than they.

Nonetheless it remains the serious problem it apparently is meant to be for, via the communiqués of their faces and the languages of their bodies, it is clear that their movements, their large contingencies, their mechanisms, have left people feeling oppressed.

And also sad.

And, as the phrase has it, beneath the thumbs of such rulers, dynamics with attendant causalities have created the situation as given.

More particularly, we go forth upon large ship to rescue people who are assumed to be relatively innocent, yet are in a most serious situation nonetheless.

Wherein an opposing system of belief – known as governments – have taken the young folk hostage or prisoner; apparently how the rules work.

Thus one decides to walk back because one’s hammer, as you must already suspect, might be confiscated.

Reminiscent, you know or may similarly recall, of that time in Mexico.

Not so dissimilar from earlier times, driving a bus so very very slowly in the parade.

Amen.

00223.02 | 0826| 252 : decreasingly , worrisome :

0095 19970826.0805’pdt’usa’or’corvallis’bRidge@Tue

mundane feat

.
dear
   crowded situation leaving
   belongings in
a       chair
   over there
   man takes possession , sitting back a bit
   his companion his feet
   one dangling . dangling creating
a slighter onerous tension
   whereby ownership having
taken
.
possession
   of one’s presumed
   self , take
   eternal and , jest like the humorous acorn ,
   no longer quite just what
   once one thought oneself to
be
.
okay
;
mild-mannered
behavior perchance
   mildly intimidating
   while walking away one's hopes
   being safe enough unto
   state some slight nonetheless
                    a bit
concerned            yet
well out of          his
sight
.

0128 20000826.0914’pdt’usa’or’corvallis’ah@

innocent until improbably guilesum

Yet another attractive unknown lady I’ve somehow offended.

Attempting apologizing in a crowd.

Thrown out yet remembering neither from where, nor how, nor why.

Rushing as though to hide stark naked beneath a table, calling out to the very ones designated to help, two police officers in their workaday suits, realizing of course they will notice my plea, then consider my situation, then me, aberrational.

Despite such preconceptions, they seem of predominately understanding disposition, especially upon realizing ‘i’ am relating a tale of a difficult lack-of-relation with a member of the ever-notorious "Opposite" Gender.

Most odderest of all is how their compassion improves as ‘i’ make up an ever-more elaborate story on the spot -:- not to be obscure, but merely because ‘i’ can’t remember what actually happened.

00228.02 | 0801 | 227 : existential exits , entranced entrances and :

0026 20020801.0650’pdt’usa’oregon’corvallis’ah@

only xians need apply [:[24]:]

Whatever the case , you may have noticed she will allow only
those who belong to the Christian Union to work
upon the movie in question.

0202 20020801.0650’pdt’usa’oregon’corvallis’ah@

a brilliant idea

Notice how, as ‘i’ jump most adroitly with my motorcycle, that it is actually “my” mind with which “I” save the day. If you will, imagine it to be just there, nigh Muir Beach.

And later, as if having gone to town –- imagine, if you wish, Mill Valley -– with “my” family, seeing people eating not only at that lovely restaurant that might be thought of as the Venerable Italian Restaurant of Yore but, also, one-door-over at the spillover furniture shop, yet another lovely idea: a furniture shop of such well-crafted furnishings as share their space in most convivial fashion : well-lathed polished furnishings enticingly displaying wares of delight such that patrons from remarkably harmoniously places almost too-coincidentally-close might partake of such-and-such social ambiance obtaining upon the consciousnesses of we the predominately unconscious.

In particular their big, big table; the one with the nice table cloth at which sit the two young Asian girls along with those several others attendant upon the intent mutuality of comprehension implied within the subtlety of each such glimpse of perturbed reality.

The restaurant proper meanwhile remaining most crowded indeed.

Restaurant Blue Planet, Big Table Asia.

And just who are the eaters, and who the eaten?

00228.02 | 0908| 265 : birth-{ … }-death & suchlike , pleasantly tedious bouts of :

0076 20000908’0847’pdt|usa’or’corvallis’ah@

sorted , un-

Had it been made of photons, then a too blinding light fabrication.

Yet, during a differing set of moments that I did not mean to be, yet was, swaddled in the fabric of the arena of the toll-booths, a robe of light canvas or heavy linen in places too tight; a too-binding light fabric.

In such manner my birth-tube trauma re-invokes itself via extrication and escape. Accompanied by so accomplished, though tedious, a bout of success.

0152 20000908’0933’pdt|usa’or’corvallis’ah@

formality , please take a

Tables such as these tend to be small; palm-sized tile inlaid into their square surfaces.

There is the visiting of the place; revisiting if one were to give it the slightest consideration.

The place where the entity I currently think I am had grown up, perhaps in Europe, where once that particular hill had been a place to walk and enjoy the magnificent view of the water; of the sea.

Now a pale mansion high above, seen from beneath, reminiscent of the white of death. As you might thus conjecture, to my eyes ugly; yet an interesting redemptive feature or two.

He is perhaps in his thirties and, though I believe him to be rude in a Germanic sort of way, he is behaving not rudely, but elegantly; formally.

As for the two women, predominately they sit at their little table as he, with a gesture, invites me to sit at his.

00237.02 | 1009| 296 : siblings by whom chosen , problem-solving :

0097 19991009.0508’utc’usa’oregon’corvallis’ah@

obversely improbable momish observance

One of my two - actually three or four, depending upon who is included -- “brothers” –in this event happening to be none of those, but the more-or-less taller and pleasantly-obnoxious professional writer of a certain Nederland Colorado enterprise – explained how a certain other someone-of-significance had almost been our brother also.

Something of a double-exposure with the somewhat darkened downstairs of our family home in rolling rural hills. Whereat, whereupon, or wherein I then place my trusty old 35mm camera; somewhere amid the darker zones.

My traditional mother, however, playing her trusty old role; Mom.

0140 2001109.0332’pdt’usa’oregon’corvallis’ah@

webs in light of prescriptive corrections

A brilliant small entity and I had been discussing the danger of such massive spider webs as we had just been finding in the back yard, strung hither and yon.

I particularly concerned about the safety of said small being, an old friend of mine. Most likely a small cat.

As though in response to our discussion, the optometrist's associate asks, “$16.29, Mr. A________z, will that be all?” I having tendered the freshly-minted idea regarding how folk who were changing their prescription might sell their old glasses andor lenses at most nominal fee to those of less means, who were finding it difficult to afford new ones, yet did not want to be thought of as freeloaders. Thinking such an arrangement might best be best facilitated via some Web site.

No discussion as to scratch repair, or fresh protective coatings.

00238.02 | 0915| 272 : worthy , if at all , minimally :

0088 19970915.1552’pdt’usa’oregon’newport’ah@ Keiko’s Place @

unBindings

In restaurant with J; our light meal.

Discussion with the resident workers re being in Vietnam.

A fellow would like to know whether I’d served.

"No, I was categorized Four-F." FourF.

He’d heard of quite a few of those.

A couple of others smoke pot on a ledge out in back, a cyclone-fence enshrouded walkway upon which they sit, some hunkered down, some cross-legged.

Declining their offer, the computer detects low battery and shuts itself off.

I think and I feel,
but are such thoughts real? [:[25]:]

0150 19800915.0811’pdt’usa’oregon’corvallis’ah@

wavicle

Similarly, on impulse, the man of the field kisses the actress who might as well be (the?) Madonna, no pun intended, what with such abundance of ongoing passion, real, contrived, amalgams of alternatives, as one so insignificant as i scurry about picking up odds-and-ends of the forgotten field, bits of foodstuff, artifacts as might be blown away in the rising winds, soaked in immanent rains.

To occasionally hunker low like this rounding of one’s back to the sky above, evoking thus a smattering of genetic physics, a talisman against being struck by such lightning as rumbles high and nigh, or kisses sometimes the earth goodbye.

He nonetheless seems an unlikely candidate to be kissing her, really not the right role for one such as he. Is it not far more likely he is one as has no such role?

Set-designer, Hairdresser? Support staff of real actors and actresses? [:[26]:]

00248.02 | 0912| 269 : arrivals so long , departures to teach the :

0122 20030912.0836’pdt’usa’oregon’corvallis’ah@

lotus rock delima

Finding a spot to sit in lotus posture upon smooth ancient boulders; sea-sculpted geological forms between or amid so many folk peering from briefly- halted train windows overlooking an ocean from so low their bluff plus, somehow, the ocean itself.

I’d particularly enjoy sitting atop the breaking-wave formation - a high and crumbling scarp of such questionable physical integrity that I decline the opportunity as presented, favoring the prudence of a more humble position, managing to meditate once or twice until the train begins moving out.

Observing such departure while remaining nigh so transitorily-pleasant a shore; presumably some ever-more-diminutive entity framed in scintillations surging nigh peculiar rocky spires, their bases portrayed as if arisen from so sibilantly hissing a strand and surge.

0126 20030912.0630’pdt’usa’oregon’corvallis’ah@

(e)state of pleasantry

Familiar in the sense of resembling rural Marin County in the vicinity of Mill Valley, with a quite familiar companion who I nonetheless - in This version of life on earth - don’t really know . Yet, within the vignette, I’m quite certain it’s an actress of fleeting notoriety at the time. Cute, diminutive, with short pixie-style blonde hair. [:[27]:]

There is a sense that she is jogging and I am on a bike, modes of transportation, in 'my' limited experience, tending to be quite fluid and unspecific on many such occasions. [:[28]:]

We cross the expensive estate of someone unknown although, once across, it seems a quite familiar place, leading 'me' to wonder whether I know such wealthy folk from some previous state.

00249.02 | 0823 | 249 : abashments , imperfections' :

0087 19970823.0742’pdt’usa’or’corvallis’bRidge@

abashment’s naught groove

.
driving
some kids
back seat play
some old afterthought
record unbought resembling
jazz bothers
reaching back . move needle
so ancient a sought
device back there now
a same groove's
different spot
;
sweet
.
one
  thought
  such spot
  further along ought
  on such an unbought
record
.
predictable
Kid holds
machine
objects
, yet so very polite
      so very well-mannered
in so objecting
as to
        induce in one
a state of abashment
at such imperfections
   wrought of
resultant comprehensions
. No ?
. no afterthought

0162 19970823.0803’pdt’usa’or’corvallis’bRidge@ [:[29]:]

"bRidge" being Briar Ridge apartments.

impede obfuscation

. a suchness of thusness , working on a house , attempting do the thing considered the predominately correct thing . per rule-sets relating to creating such parameterizations of output.

Yet, upon realization of having inadvertently nailed a board to a book, or vice versa, feeling suitably abashed, as though having done the very wrong thing.

Easily conceptualized is the Rightness Module overseeing thisnesses of thatness, flowing through various emotional postures: paranoia, guilt, remorse and hopes of inclusion.

Thus came to be; speaking with someone or someone else amid desires that they realize not what one has done despite such likelihoods leading to the one flavor precisely apparent, the all and sufficiency supposedly supposed to do.

And, in so strange a manner, carrying an artifact closer to the annamayakosha configured in anti-reveal, it thus transpiring that some fellow would like to come in.

Yet journeys far elsewhere in such a house wherein, after having locked the door, precisely cannot, for that very reason.

00249.02 | 1013| 300 : outcomes , inertias bridging toward :

0049 19991013.1301’pdt’usa’oregon’corvallis’ah@

close call upon

San
        Francisco Sheriff
not    particularly impressive to me
nor    I, I s’pose,
to     him . yet
when   AngelCar
        during high-speed braking
        pulls to the right
  he   who   so-noticed , though merely a passenger
      - everything having turned out okay
      - thus leaves
with no further ado
.                do

0200 19991013.1327’pdt’usa’oregon’corvallis’ah@0201~

interstice

Should anyone have inquired:

Attempting to get to Brilliant PrimeNumber Algorithmician’s house had become a most fraught journey along hell-inspired obstacles.

On bicycle perforce to traverse so high a bridge over deep waters, increasingly narrow ‘til hardly a foot or two in width, with no railing, sloping downward toward the far shore, of not entirely regular surface, perhaps pavers; most likely not cobblestones.

Once I am most of the way across, though still remarkably distant from the waters below, I arrive at what appears to be a carefully-engineered kink in the bridge. Then again, perhaps it was merely an inadvertent variety of disrepair.

In either event, there is no getting past it.

Thus does it fall upon me to contrive or construe the means by which a way downward to the onward might arise.

Thus making my way along the narrow walkway edge, round a column and into a discovered corridor.

Therein, upon having prodded sufficiently to so discover, is found the scuba-suited fellow who is to be held personally responsible for such evil misfortunes.

That, however, of no great moment, for the door had opened.

In such manner did I enter such a place, so remarkably difficult to attain.

00251.02 | 1030| 317 : am I , as yet unpainted :

0076 19971030.1239.Fri’pdt’usa’oregon’corvallis’briarRidge@

stuckness , un-

Near "the 3rd hospital" in Corvallis, the one over near the campus, near the Brotherly Cafe. You know. That doesn't exist.

Any more, or yet, or ever.

Up against a wall beyond which I cannot go.

And so I call ‘pon my Overself - or is it 'my' OverSoul? - then decide well, at least I can go back to my body.

As to which body ? not of great import; so it has been said.

Or not.

0175 19971030.0719’Thu’pdt’usa’oregon’corvallis’BRidge@

topiarian topo redux

Fragment of a place purveying art supplies. A table upon which some tubes of oil-based paints; fabricated from them thar recycled.

One tube, an example, having ingredients including recycled shoe soles and tire tidbits; on its outside are actual colors shown in a not-quite-square swatch wrapped about the tube. Not quite a sample:

The swatch consists of two colors, one quite red, the other resembling orangish. I take that as indicative of possible extremes of colors as might be found within the tube in question -- swatch colors separated by a diagonal edge running from the lower corner on one side to the upper corner on the other; each colour thus subsuming a similarly-sized representation upon said swatch in question.

Yet, quite possibly, am I mistaken. For would it not then be more appropriate to merely put a swatch of the actual color - as found within the tube - on the swatch to said tube so applied?

The paints, as thick and chunky as Platonic solids, don't care; particularly in their inherently randomized fragments.

00260.02 | 0711 | 206 : reclamations , aqueous :

0111 20030711.0932’pdt’usa’oregon’corvallis’ah@

valuations upon a submerging land

.
in
berkPack
we used to dwell
apt next door
, now though merely
visit
.
conveying
our little pack denoting
affiliation with
a particular institute of hired
learning
.
higher
waters stare back from
stairs neath rising waters
risen
.
rajneeshites
took over ; particular suspicion
ox of a big rig
driver
.
subsequent
to
brief excursion elsewhere
j & ‘i’ thus return
, noticing various items
gone
.
yet
extensive searching by
librarian under authority of
let us say president
gives back various items
, one at a time
, including also proper
forms of
the no-longer
missing
.
quite
the
hassle
.
complimentary
gifts dependably remain
underwhelming
.

0149 20050711.0029’uct’usa’oregon’corvallis’ah@

consecrated laughter some light moved we

. a
perfect
landing of
unpowered little car
glides the great distance
from great height
through air
from so very high an altitude
the long , long distance
though all too soon drifting
rapidly down unto a small city nigh a shore via
careful adjustments of consciousness among
multiple catenary layers of
wires between poles to pass thus
all such obstructions by
, as some say , the skin of our teeth
thus to rapid stop come
to an upward-ramping street's
base
,
pretty
much the best ‘i’ could manage with
so minimal a glide ratio
… and …
this concept ; giving all the whales the antidote via
a biological form that shall propagate among
all in close proximity as is currently so and
, upon their returns to various world-wide native grounds
, presumably propagate farther yet among one and all
saving thus the
oceanic
day
.

00265.02 | 0819 | 245 : peculiar inventions , societal context of :

0121 19970819.0307’mdt’usa’co’aromaticEstates@Tue

switching allegiances

Assume as it were that the only known mother of Krippa, in such times known as lady ka, or key, or K_n, is wanting to install an electric switch construed as consisting of a thumb-wheel on an extension cord.

It might also be construed as an unusual wall-switch: a main switch positioned either down along some wall, or hanging from some ceiling.

Though one may initially have felt that to be neither optimal nor correct, yet nonetheless an acquiescence to her wishes in the context of knowledge of there being another - perhaps a plurality of others - also there; the pertinency of such feelings and concerns seems sufficiently diminished so as to be sufficiently slight as to have approached irrelevance.

0144 2001081907:33’pdt’usa’or’corvallis’ah@

who comes up with these ideas anyhow

J becomes interested in certain aspects of exploding devices being sold as similitudes to 4^thof July pranks that, upon exploding, spray a wide swath of food-based splatters, said devices about the size and shape of a large tortoise and, oddly enough, typically set so as to go off at a particular date and time unknown to the purchaser.

After paying for 2² or so of these objects, we were required to formally register them at an informal registration stand.

While filling in a phone number ‘i’ staged a minor rebellion by not disclosing our area code along with the rest of the number, thereby enjoying a momentary illusion of safety from intrusively overweening excesses of hypothesized social engineers who, in retrospect, were more likely bored bureaucrats who might also purchase such objects for fun, than they were the cunning apparatchik of my presumptions.

00268.02 | 0829| 255 : plus insecure males , female drivers :

0096 19990829.0853’pdt’usa’or’corvallis’ah@

gird yer bomperz

Consider if you will a small white vehicle as we already have, though in excellent running order.

Yet not so fantastic as the red vehicle that older lady has been driving about.

And consider as one might a simultaneous consideration that it looks to me as though it needs a great deal of work, what with its front grille and bumper missing and thus, behaviorally-speaking, the standard approach|avoidance conflict, resolving into avoidance.

Particularly due to her seeming so firmly affixed to notions of ownership.

See also mamakara, typically having little to do with starchy tree ferns.

0172 19980829.0836’pdt’usa’or’corvallis’ah@sat

landing The Shuttle

She could’ve fooled me as we dropped from orbit, landing it there on a strip of road.

All the other astronauts seemed to know whereof they have been conditioned to do such feats to walk again the earth.

I, however, consider the road we see as a probable illusion; a virtual road.

Then again, I’m increasingly less entirely certain.

In either event, she takes it gingerly, landing the craft despite the subtropical wending tendencies of the way upon which alighted. Upon the first instance tentative; the second secure.

It wasn’t ‘til later, having put my hideaway pistol in its little-seen holster of anonymity, to enter the building where officiously anonymous officer barely shakes my hand as ‘i’ pass his sitting form. Nor does he proffer his name; it is not allowed he so claims.

The humdrum boredom of encloistered fear reminding one such as me to sit across in the chair of multiple testings: the overt, the pervert, the revert, and also the why of it all as are we, the covert.

00270.02 | 0818 | 244 : dubious priorities , motivations via :

0066 199808180g15_AH @

motivating urges to augment preemptive situational awarenesses

Parking in sunshine nigh several others working upon a vehicle ‘i’ at first think is theirs; its hood up.

A sense of unease.

As they move toward us ‘i’ tell my companion(s?) they (we?) ought return to our car now.

We commence our departure just as a great burst of hostility emanates from them, their leader yelling, attempting to block our exit as we accelerate away.

0204 19970818.0415’mdt’usa’co’aromaticEstates@Mon

seem like you’d like so you be what you seem

Bladerunner blended with Gothic Wild Wild West salvage shop environment.

Instead of a proprietor a lanky, tallish, endomorph-reminescent fellow who runs things, and has some local power despite exhibiting pretenses of a power-minimal management stile.

Perhaps he is her son. Probably not.

On the wall, just behind me, a portrait of the mysterious Milk da m'Uffin, wearing an Easter hat.

Proprietor plus she who is probably not his mother, but a wise old lady psychologist who seems to know of Milk da M’Uffin, and more than a few things about her, speaking of how wild she is.

Someone resembling the proprietor puts a finer point on it, inquiring regarding her wild - some might posit surrealistic - affairs.

Another such as she - or perhaps it was she - implies or suggests she very many such, then recants, saying it had only been one. But that her male counterpart, “John,” had put an end to it.

I look at them, but mostly her, saddened and embarrassed by wondering if she realizes that “the one affair” might well have involved me. A bit peculiar since she departed the ship before we could even clumsily meet.

Another possibility might have been something similar via Miss Direction.

00271.02 | 0727 | 222 : so well-trained a madhouse of desires , saintly objectifications of :

0068 20010725.0708’pdt’usa’oregon’corvallis’ah@

fine finale

Most other inmates were elder ladies working about the grounds; the outside world full of unavoidable human bustle amid which seemingly random dangers of kaleidoscopically-multiplicitous monkey-mind human hustle.

Plus two views of the prison of this world, in the second of which was i merely there to rescue the lady evocative of j; merely wandering away amid our enfeebled slowness, contrived to resemble yet another element of distraction.

0203 199607270932’pdt’usa’oregon’corvallis’briarRidgebit@

rho t(w)o pions scribes

.
resistance
,   love 'em or leave 'em

    well               em   very well
powered
.
in a
    sausalito of
    fancy business of     Ye
         Old Yet Youthful
    Mother Teresa,
,   quite delightfully off her
rocker
.
who
are they such as
judge
    (as) women (who)
lounge
in attitudes of malaise , a
    softer slippery sort of self-
    indulgence resembling
    introspection irresistible
    needs (,)narcissisms it must be
             supposed guarding
   any inner self - abnegation
name              resembling
   me,
me,
me
.
we
    meanwhile       ,
,   the women and ‘i’ - not Teresa , discover some
    necessary particularity       unto going most
                         inward to
                  find
            this         'n'
that
reminder . that . as
    you might well (have)
imagine(d)
    me to be
a trained sorta fellow in the realm of
    yup , yah , ye as have trained
                me too very well
, 'tis ( it not )
                so easy
               to
.
to what
?
to
  love 'em you     say
see
?
how?
amid the ,     or along an , overlapian way
such that                    all who
     need desire most literally
            cannot live
   without         most
every dimension of their being
being
                so
                as
                to
                be loved
    as most any divine
                 beloved might be
by
.
who
?
merely another
distractional gambit
.

00281.02 | 0710 | 205 : transitionally-famous contrivances to keep us safe , riding alone as :

0127 20010710^0811’pdt’usa’oregon’corvallis’ah@

among distances , a longest point

.
a
long country ride amid pleasantly tree-laden dales
and , detouring a smidge
, a bicycle along flatlands to
the small vehicle seemingly a ride in that small car
wherein a couple of folk asiatic-of-seeming to whom
i obtain proximity as if to accept their kind offer just as
a resemblance to a close relative closes , horns , in
upon that very instant of having so decided
to , no ,
merely ride as before the fullness of so long a trek
alone
; quite as was so all
along
.
riding
on in such a(n e)state
young man seemingly having
usurped my position
communicates regarding
extra room that ‘i’ might join their
gestalts of bicycle racks
closely adhering to
impressions of claustrophobic
journeys
.

0154 20010710^1010’pdt’usa’oregon’corvallis’ah@

masterfulities

. amid well-appointed architectural surroundings , looking downward over some mezzanine’s railing to espy various socially-noteworthy people convened as a mildly lackadaisical board of those seriously concerned with the criminal behaviors of some of their coincarnates [:[30]:]

. thus (a) meeting on the next level down to ascertain a proper course of action perchance posited by someone resembling , similar , or merely identical to , a currently-famous actor [:[31]:] , standing up to journey afoot across a goodly room to a board afront the apparently bored board’s
boardroom
. [:[32]:]
all via a sensibility as to how , in various lives - such as most anyone's current one - there is the sense of being . being -- if not forced , then necessitated -- to act . to breathe , to move in various ways so as to take shelter , self-nourish , from time-to-time encounter one's
pulse .

00283.02 | 0920| 277 : intermediations , intangible significance of :

0058 19970920.0723’pdt’usa'oregon'corvallis'BriaRidg’Sat@

gagglacious , super-mode

The male gossip of football announcers blathers on, a gaggle speaking in sonorous male bellowings reminiscent of obscure mating calls and rituals.

One makes a statement none of the wishes to follow with a bellow of their own, there apparently in play a certain superstition regarding being the first to speak after a certain sort of less-than-convivial statement.

0225 19970920.0848’pdt’usa'oregon'corvallis'BriaRidg’Sat@

African heritage , attractive model of

A barn-house in a field evocative of Sebastopol nigh a semblance to a little house on a prairie. Out a slight way; toward Lynch Road for example.

Am visiting her there and -- for unknown reason, as though sensing that few have so-mentioned, and that she might find it enjoyable to hear -- passingly remark to her how attractive she is.

Colorado's Binary Bicyclist is out in a part of the yard closer to the main house doing yard work; weeding perchance.

As though on cue, lights go out in the barn-studio referred to as little house on the prairie – excepting one compact fluorescent fixture, that maintains a significance of dim intensity up, in, and against a southern ceiling.

Binary Bicyclist, apparently having drawn nigh, and I have a brief conversation regarding such lack of light andor power. How he had noticed something, yet wasn’t quite sure, going on at considerable length regarding minutiae of such situations and why they might come to be as, meanwhile, said lady positions herself such that only open doors separate us, letting the shape that previously might have been referred to as her terrycloth robe drop away to form her pale plinth, in toto a most attractive reflection observable in the door knob with a remarkable clarity that, had the lights not so-dimmed, most certainly would have gone unnoticed.

00284.02 | 0712 | 207 : (be)got you , well-conceived children've :

0133 20000712.0750’pdt’usa’oregon’corvallis’ah@

stood-up stand-up bodhisattva

.
visiting
our lady of the olive farm ranch and
her familial hawaii isle implied
, their very high aerie to see and to hear other
such possibilities of life and
such
.
such
severalities of things well-taken together
most amazingly worrisome , some might declare
a state of frightening or
worse
.
examples
can hardly be found of , for
example , people . the
folk of their branch out upon which so
remarkably
far
.
their
limb thus do they
united we
stand
.
small
clustered group
in extremis most sturdy
upon not-so-long-ago twig overarching
splendorous abyss just
below
.
surprisingly
capable their combined weight to carry
, though somewhat concerned in pragmatic reflection
straining of credulity and moreso the
tree
.
unmentioned
a reservoir
not so full just
because
.

0151 20020712.0733’pdt’usa’oregon’corvallis’ah@

dear younger vertical fem

.
commingled
passions nor lone masturbations
found conjoined lovers as mutual
creator
.
‘neath
seeds as
starry realms rest
far stranger things
unknown and untried
and steeped all in time
brought forth in such times
be we so enamoured
or allied in friendships or
better upward wendings
gone one way and the another
, friend andor foe
, lover-meld hater
commingled (attr)actions , mutual
traitors
.
for
thus thought the thinker
a most reasoned choice ; companions most seasoned in valor
secure
( tho ‘t’is a choice not of mine , but only of
yearn )
.
old mansions have fallen unhinged unto dust
their wings well abutted
though creeping to
rust
.
scarier
yet doors deep within
doors . to enter and lurk amid stranger of things
, those here so lived , mated and
spawned
.
stars
as seed
of all who
so lived 'til
well-departed ;
gone
.

00288.02 | 0827| 253 : disorder , law and :

0030 19970827.0151’utc’usa’or’corvallis’bRidge@Tue

true detectors

. “movie” scene ending with close-ups upon backs of detectives . detectives as reach behind their backs for weapons . thence to black and white freeze frame of same .

0258 19970827.0713’pdt’usa’or’corvallis’bRidge@Wed

trans-parent

Carrying "this other woman thus" in my arms: In a loving, caring, affectionate manner. All at a traffic loop resembling a small riverine stream branching off from a main flow, then rejoining.

J and another or two -- possibly, though not necessarily, including said unknown woman -- and I, observe the oncoming bus. Thinking it will stop across the street, we run to that other side, it stopping at the point from which we had just departed.

We run back and J runs behind the bus while ‘i’ run in front, observing a typical group of passengers of the “getting on” persuasion as ‘i’ round its corner, somewhat surprising within the vignette, as there had none other than us waiting.

Driver closes the front door as ‘i’ round the corner close ahead of it; a predominately transparent door that both the driver and ‘i’ can see each other through, they choosing to not reopen the door for me, though it would have been trivial to have.

The departing bus is steered into an extreme U-turn to the left, turning with improbable sharpness to heading back about - up - the traffic loop.

I look for J and see her not, a lack giving rise to feelings of great concern. Did she get on the bus? If so, will she look around and realize ‘i’ didn’t1 get on with her? Will the non-accommodating driver let her off? Will she get off at the next stop and take an opposite bus?

Will ‘i’ ever see her again?

A recurring theme.

00290.02 | 1001| 288 : kraftlosigkeit , schadenfreudian lack of :

0144 19971001.1249’pdt’usa’oregon’corvallis’2^ndBean@

denial who wrote some hymn of Him

Krippa's father's vehicle caromed along on its own, I, its inadvertent passenger, having perhaps spent the night therewithin.

It soon enough decided to roll over, that apparently okay by me, despite having brought about a nascent fear that was soon supplemented by crawling from therewithin leading to discovery of a presumedly non- or pseudo- -Freudian rat, grasped through fabric of leg of trousers, both soon enough swung about in a grand arc - Leonardo's Viturvian Man - thereby unshrouded, de-cloaked, and, via lack of sufficient friction, launched tangentially horizonward by its release from the pants leg within which it had become an inadvertent passenger, a sufficiency of fictional centrifugal having overcome the acceptably tangible centripetal.

I dream therefore I think I am.

Having reacted per feeling afear’d, subsequent curiosity worried concepts of violences done unto others in the name of (one's) fear(s). [:[33]:]

0146 20021001.0638’pdt’usa’oregon’corvallis’ah@

fourche de l'arbre d'or de la vie

Old souped-up car and truck; mine immobilized. Parked -– gens français plaisants of intimate moments taking me in, grafting onto our temporarily-mutual lives their amitiés d'une sorte particulière, ultimately giving rise to my invention of a tubular spiritual breeze; serving any number of possible functions.

For example, to my surprise, a pleasant dame charmante utilizing my daring breakthrough to dry off her pants, somehow have become quite wet in the zone of upper inner thighs, as she sits among so many others on the swell of the slope; partaking in observance of such holy festivities.

Or, for those of less visceral mood, an ever-more-complex game involving glowing happy-face buttons moved about in a game of levels; pleasantly played as small smileys masquerading as fluorescent Go pieces.

The added twist being that the consciousnesses of both makers and players provide the necessary animating forces enabling such movements.

00304.02 | 0809 | 235 : supersized representations , metal cylinders and :

0148 20000809.0608 ‘pdt’usa’oregon’corvallis’ah@

sureties of the super-cell [:[34]:]

A plausible similitude of Sylvester Stallone appears, walking on scene in Adonis style, moves up and down a vertical pole of one-half to two-thirds a meter in diameter, it thinking it rather identical to a super-heroic car-lift pole that, in the process of so moving, he becomes.

The subsequent lifting-hug quite reminescent of being hugged by dad as a small child, and not entirely frightening, despite my eyes being about three times as far above terra firma than usual.

Perhaps it was the second lifting-embrace that evoked a wisp of a memory of an extraordinary young woman, the two of us waiting for a sea vessel to arrive.

One eventually did -- seeming the wrong ship piloted by the wrong captain: a rude fellow who, rather than the ore we had apparently been awaiting, merely wished to drop scrap metal along the little scrap of shore which remained.

0156 20020809.0753’pdt’usa’oregon’corvallis’ah@

shining tactile brass [:[35]:]

brass , yogic

Imagine a campus to the northwest, with shiny brass banisters leading from floor to floor. As one climbs the wide open steps in the grand imaginal stairwell, through the rambunctiousness of mind flits the possibility of sliding down one or two of them.

Meanwhile, at the pinnacle of such an edifice, beyond the high glass cupola, a brass sculpture: a most monumental woman in a yogic posture resembling the plough. Immense enough that one can imagine having for a few moments lounged upon her brass ass, sliding down a tad upon the lovely curve of lower back; sheltered beneath wavy brass hair.

All too soon one must however depart such burnished glutei, to move out upon the plaza, into the comfort of greater light.

If desired, one might in part imagine this to be due to ribald and uncouth jokes said by students lounging about. Or perhaps due to the too-tight confines of said brass representation.

00306.02 | 0903| 260 : hell-realm , heaven-sent :

0043 20020903’0803’pdt’usa’or’corvallis’ah@

frisky entrepreneur’s sneaky phone call

Yah.

Chatting up the brilliant ol’ Boulder patent attorney plus 'my' stepfather , Bud Dha. At least one of them calls out in a manner implying sneaking away from his lovely spousal unit via .

A fundamentally humorous and playful manner of departure.

0263 20010903’0451b’pdt’usa’or’corvallis’ah@

traversal of reversal

.
in
the    tensor calculus
of     such events
,      having
to do with
a      well-dressed man
of     ego offended by
       cats
and    thus upon
       himself       taking to
       retaliate
and    torture
in the one event unto
       death itself as he put it
making            “punishments suited to
their crimes”     upon a
particularity
,
multiple
          trams traveling
as though upon cables
          suspended across
                  an abyss to
          where I am delivered
to the    small cave-like portal within far wall
a         cliff of impossible yet readily observed
          fractal infinitude
a         presumably
          subterranean
place
.
having
        visited such
a       place -
a       hell well-designed
by      mathematicians
and     similar magicians
so      diminutive
a tram
departs
,
leaving
that version
of   me   in
a       situation
           capably enforcing
a    short life in
a    place designed
not for
     human needs
, crawling now with
an abrupt turn to the right upon such vestibule
above a cliff-face all of similar portals too small
to turn about without quite extreme danger : falling over
ledge unto an abyss of seemingly infinite similarity , reduced now
to so exceedingly difficult a traversal and tightmost passage through each ever-teensier door just beyond I somehow knowing well now how just beyond such a place , the miniscule room so small as to be barely a cell too small if you will . such a mistake having gone so rapidly there with such alacrity withal and thus , insomuch as possible , pre-research ye each such destination ; particularly upon the even it happens to be any species of hell of your own higher-dimensional self's ad hoc
making
.

00307.02 | 0728 | 223 : efficiencies of forgeries' , satisfyingly excessive :

0137 20020728^1042'pdt'usa'oregon'corvallis'ah@

miracle replacement bulb chop shop

.
accomplices
,   J & ‘i’ are
in a shop in
    the process of acquiring
an expensive specialized high-intensity replacement
    bulb
    whereupon the subject of
    Marvel Mystery Oil
    arises regarding its use as part of a
    trick for cleaning just such
bulbs
.
fellow
    just ahead of us , the , meanwhile uses
a   round little orange rubber stamp      -
a   chop                                  -
to impress a
    forgery of
    his boss’s signature
,   skillfully offsetting it toward
the bottom edge of
the envelope-cum-form in such manner
as makes it cleverly difficult to recognize
a   forgery for what
   it is or shall have
become
.
so
    noticing
    impresses upon
    me an exemplar
    regarding unethical behavior providing
a   poor commentary on
a   society wherein people feel necessitated to cheat
    such that things tend to continue getting most efficiently
accomplished
.

0170 19960728^0753'pdt'usa'oregon'corvallis'Briar Ridge@

pick-up-jacks

.
something of
    the manner of the Ancient Girlfriend
    who ne’er was , she from 2^nd grade onward
    presuming something might
eventuate
.
little
    brother hers from New York thereof
as has arranged - part of a ritualized dysfunctionality of
so creatively high strung a
Family
:
woman
    gets
    big long thick stick
    after .
            carried up so watery a
course
.
merely , of course ,
a
Tendency
:
interfere
;   get in way;
   make not
happen
.
yet
to my surprise , the
      get big stick
    is what
      beautiful
    woman of hormonal
     sensibilities young , lithe
    full of
enjoyments
,
fully
     enjoys . similarly
    her right out of an ad
    tall dark-haired cobra-hood-torso
consort in
     powerful stance above supine
     ankles , knees her departures via
     most any intimacy of counterparts
     allowing nay encouraging such
an   appurtenance or impertinency
so   many years and places prior to
     learning ( that is )
              ( merely )
              (yet) another
in (of) a
     puzzling    array of
     apparently purely prurient
     passion-permeated practical
practices
.

00308.02 | 0928| 285 : as we few stand aside , many continuing on :

0103 20000928.0730 ‘pdt’usa’oregon’corvallis’ah@

plague break

After the Plague I thought of as being six or so years out, I help bury the great masses of bodies.

Each of the three large rooms has a goodly quantity and, although the rooms are arranged linearly, each is a different size than the others, and therefore has a differing quantity of cadavers.

Though of a durable and functional seeming, I nonetheless find it a bit much after a prior someone’s hair comes loose from their head in my hand, I thus calling to a more present someone in the next room or reality to let them know I’m taking a break.

0205 20000928.1137’pdt’usa’oregon’corvallis’ah@

as above not-quite-so below

J & I were crossing a small body of water, perhaps a pond, or a series of very narrow roads that seemed rather more like walkways.

After crossing, I am necessitated to get angelCar up a narrow path of almost-stairs cut into a very steeply-upward bank.

J gets out, and I ask her to please move due to the risk of running her over if she doesn’t.

She does and I gave it a go, but am weak on traction, and thus wait for others who have shown up to similarly give it a try in their vehicles.

For them another way opens, and they go right on through a door or portal placed in the hill to the right of the path.

There is a concrete platform - a sort of launch area to the various paths or portals - and I partially stand upon it while waiting for those who went ahead, but am shooed back by the keeper, who claimed my mass would change its buoyancy upon the dirt below.

Seeming implausible even to him, he justifies it by adding something regarding subtleties of changes of the sort as transpire in dirt flotation situations.

No recollection as to laughter, nor eyebrow raised.

00322.02 | 1010| 297 : interruptions , adaptive :

0084 19981010v38_AH

she explains it's plain there's no point complaining re plain old planar pain

She, who someone of more advanced understanding than i might have perceived as an integral or higher dimensional version of the woman who played a large role in discovering the opiate receptor -[:[36]:]- explained yet another way of conceptualizing life:

As a carpet. A lower-dimensional vaguely-flexible sheet. Across which one is seemingly transported over the course of, for example, a lifetime.

During which she apparently prescribed the acceptance of pain as a normalcy, a given, or mere background noise. [:[37]:]

0238 19971010.0829’pdt’usa’oregon’corvallis’briarRidge’Fri@

whom , not quite

The neither-lover-nor-non-lover of the delightful wife of the belated trust-fund recipient will soon arrive to pick me up at the front door, likely to commute to work, but i am distracted due to having phoned a radio station.

Therefor startled -- immediately rushing to get my pants, shoes, and so forth on -- upon hearing her horn beep outside.

As though to demonstrate how a lack of focus, of samadhi, can induce further wanderins, the second set of pants i grab have their pockets fully loaded with wallet, voice recorder, et cetera, yet need their cuffs hemmed, tailor-made for slowing things down.

i had called the radio station to ask for a schedule regarding what one might presumably assume, though mainly was calling in the hope of talking to a certain radio personage.

Yet the person reached sounds unlike the voice I could not help but know, this alternative voice saying, “We don’t have a full schedule, but i can send you...”

Thus does our conversation devolving into some more desultory, regarding what sort of schedule they have available, and how that offers such-and-such information and, though such information is not comprehensive, is nonetheless more than might be found in a newspaper.

Though at first confused and disappointed, adaptive feelings of harmonious communication regarding the new individual - despite not being who i originally wished to speak with - are noticed as being on the increase. [:[38]:]

00323.02 | 0708 | 203 : handy metaphora , stirringly unshaken :

0138 20020708^0629’pdt’usa’oregon’corvallis’ah@

handshake of pain

. with 'my' biomommy [:[39]:] visiting a peculiar library of monitors .

.
long
lines of folk
putting away carts and paraphernalia embodying
the experiments of their
learnings
.

. what ‘i’ take to be a small monitor or two
for accessing online knowledge
turn out to be merely game-playing units – p’r’aps posit
such games as
educational
.
upon leaving , an older though not elderly gentleman with
a pleasant shock of
hair expresses an attitude quite proprietary
toward said mother though , in such instantiation one such as ‘i’ can be just as proprietary , engaging him in mild variations of
the handshake of pain ; simultaneously
slightly sadistic as to entertainment
and mildly threatening per hierarchical masculinity
. thus
goes
he his separate way
as if to similarly note ,
we
.

0185 20020708^0542’pdt’usa’oregon’corvallis’ah@

stitch in time

. ahead of 'me' , through large glass doors , forming a brief line of two : the artist , pianist , model and
valedictorian of japanese lineage plus
her good friend and stewardess known also as
second pair of hands at keyboard
alternately leading and trailing each the other such that
perhaps it is ‘i’ who shall follow them
unto ticket counter into theatre
too led as to be emerging
from doors solicited by
a youngish fellow preferring the selling of tickets to
any live musical performance with
which he is engaged . allied . [:[40]:] . poeticized .
. thus a passing poignancy in so-sensing
                most any crux of
                 some situation
wherein she the purported
                         second pair of hands
expressing (t)he(i)r interest either
                         in taking in ,
                or avoiding taking in ,
the same performance they are about to
together perform
,
whereas 'my' decision is vaguely
                                 which is to say
                          non-concretely
influenced by the decision of those two pianists
just afore 'me' in line
; japanese      model and
japanese stewardess virtually
              indistinguishable [:[41]:]
, with libertine justice for
all
.

00326.02 | 1029| 316 : that noun , junger than :

0045 19971029.0706’pdt’Wed’usa’oregon’corvallis’BriarRidge@

friendlier duplicities depart

Vague memory of a long-haired
bearded proprietor discovered to be
a double gemini
who he’ll   undoubtedly
get along with famously
for his brother is
just like that
     .
but     somehow he isn’t running his shop any more.
. hmm .
   as in
decease                          d
     .

0281 19991029.0511’utc’usa’oregon’corvallis’ah@

times' stripe

once upon a forever found we (to be) the sound
and here again a time without innards, or
our supervision of some super
vision
until

horsing around in a hardware store.
Kinda an episode from a TV program
playfully chit-chatting about
gayness and all such usual sorts of unusualities.

Cast in the observer role unto such artifactual
dynamics; somebody moving into a kinda martial arts downtown
groove.

A well-defined lady bends over in front of the monitors – between the monitors and the closet – facing away from me, very petite; "lady" fluctuating in definition.

Coming back home, riding The Tricycle of Affluence -:- could’ve been the snazzy subdivision on the way to the hills, toward realms, vast parking lots, and mega food malls amid snazzy homes and apartments looking cool while offering little bang per buck.

Anyhow zipping along. Walking for a while. Realizing the absurdity of walking. Zipping along once more.
|| Repeat.

Thus transiting o'er the corner of a sloping deck nigh a hole nigh unto which I come a-slipping toward; a box of cardboard resembling a cube a-meter-and-a-third per edge, except merely a meter in height.

The lady there tells me how the house was built in 1776.

I a mite disbelieving, thinking she merely jests.

. mountains, cliffs, climbing retrospectives unto
. something ancient, defined led(?) to be
. a place and a time known as

longAgo whereat
Jung and I beneath the house,
painting a horizontal purple stripe on a gray wall.
Getting into that mode not exorbitantly; extravagantly . but merely ‘cause we’d begun by painting something else.

A house in funky suburbia on flats.

Across a funky parking lot yet another funky place for sale.

00334.02 | 0724 | 219 : societal fringes , conquering or perambulating :

0140 19980724g56_Angels’Home

this appointment

. after being on the way out , through some shiny mall uncrowded and new partaking a cup of what the lady ‘i’ was utilizing as moment's " desire object token " walking just ahead .

. per the seemingly randomized nature of many objectified objects associated with desire , the vending machine dispensed a dollop of surprise , manifested as hot water ; ah well .

. in the process of attempted amelioration finding a packet of foil and adhesives clearly designed in expectation of human dissolution . imbibing powdered-tea hot ; overly-sweetened .

. coping with attendant series - thirst-decreasing activities - having drawn 'me' considerably far from the cashier . thus a return to pay , despite it having meanwhile developed she would likely let 'me' wander away . indifference or deference ?

to . 'my' advancing age ; 'my' presumedly declining mental function .

0177 20010724.0654’pdt’usa’oregon’corvallis’ah@

in( the indi)visible [:[42]:]

In more primitive lands a young man , in pursuit of the young woman of his desires , adroitly whacks thrice the inner courtyard wall ; his graceful scimitar withal .

To have comprehensively developed such skills as these, perceived as his own skills whereby may he not further his wishes regarding comprehensions of relationship - his - with what and whom he considers both his and the Creator’s, perhaps also as an aside conquering thus some empire or another posited thus upon such a study, invisibility of a hand-spread of uses.

Similarly, more recent news, various views unraveled or transcribed for example, Death Existing to alleviate.

To alleviate from.

From this difficulty wherein; this implication of cessation or a sweeping across the face of cessation.

Having said so much as amounts to too much, kindling aphorism as though through cessation; occasionally delightful yet ever-derivative physical form.

Cessation too of so immediately visceral knowing a thus , a bodily form , yet another derivation among multitudes of such derivatives of most any random Transcendent Higher Integral State.

00338.02 | 0924| 281 : peeves and adventures , pet :

0039 20000924.0734’pdt’usa’oregon’corvallis’ah@

let death not be by blood-letting

No matter from whence in my physiology they draw the blood, the result remains the same: death in awhile.

“Well, gee, Doc – how about some blood from a little higher up?”

They take it.

“Am I still gonna die?”

0299 19990924.0734’pdt’usa’oregon’corvallis’ah@

stranger infatuations

It presumably began when we had forgotten to shut the big white ¾ ton truck off at the Big Brother Bolder Consultant’s. Or was it my place, with visitors to the campground just down the hill?

Contrariwise, Jewelress and I’d both been amid such indeterminate rooms and places of the Palace of the Past, and had thence departed. So perhaps that was when it began, she having returned and not shut off the engine, instead leaving me an oblique note so regarding.

However it came to be, this place is somehow my big ol’ country estate now, or at least I am taking care of it at long last, what with its long ramp extending upward and its variety of pets who greet me, including the fox-who-thought-to-be-a-dog, then sliding slowly off the little roof with its coating of ice extending slightly outward and downward, quite like childhood's home Here, in the Muir Woods valley, just above the living room windows; the one's held up by the owls my Bud dad so skillfully carved.

I watched them, in fact encouraged them, to slide, and eventually they all did so, with only the-one-now-reminding-me-of-Bubastes the utterly while cat behaving in a manner well-emulating, or actually being, hurt.

That something of a surprise, as I had visualized their success, and the strength of their little physical forms as they landed, then zoomed ahead, checking out the vast structure above, somehow getting there when I’d first arrived, roaring on the ramp, hearing only my echo, or perhaps merely a true bear well above.

Snow, big animals, the Rocky Mountains juxtaposed upon Hat Creek between Lassen and Shasta.

And also the big truck running, idling for weeks with its alcohol engine, having used far less than half a tank–full; really almost none at all.

00338.02 | 0926| 283 : blue shoes , patriarchal :

0144 20010926.0629’pdt’usa’oregon’corvallis’ah@

renewed model of desk

A nerdy fellow. Handsome. Wavy hair, thick glasses, toothy smile.

In addition to doing some work for me, i know him to also be photographing her in a business setting.

A context in which he expresses that she is much more than merely a model who he happens to be lighting and photographing on a large office desk.

Though, true, she is a very well-known talent throughout the world, particularly for her considerable musically-performative gifts.

He adds another comment, regarding how very attractive she is, and how difficult it is working with her.

The difficulty apparently arising due to his strong urges to, as he put it, “jump her bones” right there on the desk.

I express surprise that she is so well known around the world as a woman who has sex on desks.

After a nicely-delayed response he laughs uproariously. [:[43]:]

0194 19990926.0646’pdt’usa’oregon’corvallis’ah@

an incomplet

As though a continuation of yesterday’s travels; someone’s dad -- at first seemingly the young man accused of drawing graffiti upon the school wall in 2^nd grade, then increasingly different -- more patriarchal, as though morphing into AccupuncTourist’s dad the material scientist -- returns as though standing in for his own son; the dad-son-character meanwhile wanting me to go upstairs in order to, with minimal instruction, do a certain operation to a certain set of shoes belonging either to his wife or his fictional - which is to say non-existant - daughter.

I go upward as though to comply -- negotiating peculiar stairs, antiquated corridor, antique smells, loose carpets of not particularly cleanable design, and decades of accumulation of once-elegant clutter -- thus visiting many pairs of shoes.

Yet none quite manage to be the blue ones of which the tall and bearded patriarch has spoken. Thus my return to tell him so; the upshot being that he thus comes to consider me a bit dim.

What with him being the designated authority figure and all, a great etcetera-worth of commentary and discussion ensues until up i go via such ancient ways once more.

00344.02 | 0718 | 213 : quad-dumpster genome throwback balls , never underestimate the :

0134 19990718.1056’pdt’usa’oregon’corvallis’ah@

thomas makes the shot , despite our doubting

.
in
the game wherein
four bins like narrow dumpsters
seen from above . a square which , sliced into quadrants , moved apart
. each slice a micro dumpster . each team of
four
.
all our backs toward the target
.
player
first stands at line designate
his back still toward the dumpster-targets
throwing in an arc over intervening obstacles
into the nearest dumpster to where he
stood the
ball
.
player
second , same spot similarly backward positioned
throws likewise ,
and same so the
third
: each having taken
our shot with success
.
young
neverland boss similarly so shoots
most tall an arc which
despite our
doubting thomas mind
most palpably hits
;
thus may it be supposed
we encountered the state of being
the ones who
won
.

0210 19990718.0732’pdt’usa’oregon’corvallis’ah@

i-am-me vs the amorphous construct.

. a duel of sorts, undertaken by me in belligerently challenging mood .

the sidekick of another either is – or has assembled – his computational object existing in real space, of genera morph , running rather quickly when first appearing; a small and colorful oblate spheroid flattened , perchance , beneath .

. upon squishing it with my foot its fundaments separate so as to become of grainier , almost smoky , appearance , quickly transforming itself larger , arising cobra balloon clearly attempting to strike or otherwise engage me in combat .

. ‘i’ felt thankful it was only running on a wimpy apple computer though , upon so-thinking , realizing ‘i’ really had no idea what it was running on . concerned that , upon a faster processor , it might well have won.

. before andor after our little duel ‘i’ stated to the first party , whose sidekick it was , something to the effect of being one who one ought not underestimate the son of my father the child prodigy violinist playing at four , touring europe at eight plus his mother who graduated high school when fourteen
.
.
did
so sadly-peculiar
a curriculum vitæ
impress so much as
a smoke balloon made of
cobra
?

00345.02 | 0821 | 247 : significant hypotheticals , unexpectedly :

0089 19980821.0748’pdt’usa’or’corvallis’ah@Fri

belying bending subsurface blended scatterings

A young lady of no known prior acquaintance sold things that were subsequently packed into ubiquitous brown paper grocery bags, apparently; ‘i’ passingly noticing that her younger-seeming brother had an exceptionally large belly for his age. A beer belly.

Though having never elsewhere heard of such a thing, she then bent over to hand recently-purchased groceries to me as ‘i’ waited in a low-slung car, preparatory to driving on with great immediacy; she quite unexpectedly and nonchalantly mentioning that the two of us ought consider purchasing a home together.

0256 19980821.0813’pdt’usa’or’corvallis’ah@Fri

acoustics of exceptionality

Driving in AngelMobile, swiftly climbing a grade along the side of what might have been an alpine hill, coming across an unusual traffic situation:
the opposite lane blocked in a way superficially implying a mishap: many cars stopped, facing wrong ways, off from the properly paved way, apparently having been diverted from an opposing lane. A group of folk stood clustered here and there in mild states of trauma. As though recently involved in, or witnesses to, an accident.

The road’s divider strangely showed no sign of damage.

As though via a pause in the flow of things, a not-quite middle-aged lady, neither particularly tall nor svelte, stood in somewhat heavy dress, speaking from beside the car, something about her appearance amiss or askew: her face as though she’d only just been injured, or was recovering from an operation of some years earlier, that had not yet well-integrated into her features.

Driving on led almost immediately into a rectangular patch of wet grass to be traversed, the all-wheel drive making it only a minor challenge.

Thus continuing, accompanied by vague wonderings as to where best to pause and call in the hypothetical accident, that hypothesized experts might deal with it, along with pseudo-random subsequent thoughts regarding how it can take up to three days for an entity to fully disconnect from their physical sheath -:- which is why people ought not be cremated before the fourth day , that they not feel the intense sensibility of cold that, paradoxically, accompanies being burned (when even partially) alive.

00346.02 | 0812 | 238 : techo-whatsus , pseudo-familial :

0130 19990812.0811’pdt’usa’oregon’corvallis’ah@

sailing through a needle’s eye

There are presumably none who recollect that Captain Martial Artist Accupunctourist relates as though via a tale to be told once upon a printed circuit board; for example that of an old S100 system.

None alive who so-recollect, though it can be seen that he has inserted it into what is apparently his computer's card-cage, where it is understood that its two thumb-tabs of plastic, one at either upper corner, are for securing it into place.

Whether that is relevant to - via what we have come to call the Internet - making buys and sells in the stock market per various prior conditions, ‘i’ shall never know.

For, upon inquiring as to its and purpose, replies in humorously ironic manner; words resembling “Don’t worry your little head about it.”

0216 20020812 0639’pdt’usa’oregon’corvallis’ah@

nigh-death experience

There is of course death by strangulation.

In the sense of honoring one's parents it was acceptable. Though, obviously, a bit much, you know; the experiencing of it.

Then the being pursued by, for example, one of one's mother's subsequent lovers or, in terms of a more specifically-permanent arrangement, one’s step-father.

Thus the sort of hiding occuring when earth-moving equipment happens to have manifested upon The Road Above.

A situation in which heading the other way, down the big hill, is eminently reasonable; yet one seldom indulges in ratiocination under such circumstances. If one had, there might have occurred thoughts regarding a planar situation among interstices of intermediated segues, until becoming a man not quite who he seems. Not that any are.

Noticing, thus, the ship going down as, meanwhile, he does handstands -- reasonably, if not rationally, inverted over the floor that opens below.

For he is, or was, what might have once been referred to as a spy and, more importantly, a trainer of spies.

Obscure pallets of color in the sense of a dab of this, a dab of that, unto some purpose revealed, yet not yet perceived.

Meanwhile, quite unreasonably, the ship has apparently given up on its endeavour - sinking - and has apparently prepared itself to resume all prior duties.

00352.02 | 0804 | 230 : well-wove above ave , weaving we :

0087 20000804.0330’uct’usa’oregon’corvallis’iZone @

webacity

.
oh
thus
    and
    furthermore ; remarkably strong
beautiful 3-dimensional spherical symmetry
    web weaver
in the manifestation of its presumed being inherent
despite relevancy
a tad too similar to most
any annoyingly iridescent wasp yet
   enduringly
spider
                   ah
           so strong
almost    too strong
aesthetically strengthy yet not too
aesthetically strengthy
web
.
meanwhile
.
     during an encounter such as
that during which
nature astounds we various
imponderables
is it not
we who come
into morning
along with standardized extracts of
elsewhiles
of
    furthermore
               ; remarkably
strong
.

0265 19990804.0850’uct’usa’oregon’corvallis’ah@

disorderly relational memory deficit

No sooner making acquaintances with one woman
, than events would shift so as to suddenly
meet another ; becoming utterly immersed in making her acquaintance
; a most debilitating feeling for
in most cases ‘i’ would not recollect the previously-current woman
until getting to know the next
, whereupon ‘i’ would suddenly recollect ‘i’ was in the midst of
, for instance
, a walk to meet the prior
, such relationship Alzheimer's both
undermining my self-worth
& dragging me through a series of relationships
of great potential and wondrous superficial
intimacy , lacking any sense of deep commitment
.

exemplar:

meeting a Golden Gate Bridge toll-booth lady
inviting her to a bookstore-cum-coffee-shop on Euclid in Berkeley
to enjoy Pan e Chocolat
, meeting another lady while on the way to meet the first
– across the street at the northern gate
, crowded with folk
. We begin going elsewhere whereupon
I suddenly realize I’m walking out on someone yet
– instead of breaking things off and heading back to the first
I continue on to another little shop where
I purchase a book for current lady, yet
the sales lady expresses interest in the author and
, after paying her for the book
, ‘i’ then hand it back to her as a gift
. Not a
lifestyle to be recommended
, yet a certain pleasant quality accompanied being so attractive to the
" opposite " gender that they tend to, for example,
lay their head in your lap in what might be referred to as
public
places
.
. somnium desperato .
.

00354.02 | 0929| 286 : devices , overhead scanning :

0088 20020929.0703’pdt’usa’oregon’corvallis’ah@

flying predilection

A mundane vision giving rise to thoughts as to how a pilot’s license would have been most interesting, useful, and even enviable for one with a job involving care of wilderness areas: plants, animals, and small artesian springs arising from meadows, despite having never become involved in such work. At least not in This parallel reality, Here. [:[44]:]

Besides, just where might such a pilot land if such remote places were not close to a large lake with few surrounding obstructions, or a smaller lake with none?

0266 20020929.0728’pdt’usa’oregon’corvallis’ah@

distractions while waiting to check out

Reading an engrossing, slightly oversize, paperback book titled “A Tale of Barcodes,” sitting in a comfy chair near the checkout zone of an extra-large store, my legs stretched out at rest, wearing sandals.

This engages the notice of a playfully mischievous child who, apparently due to the proximity of my feet, slightly into the path along which her parents are hauling her, tickles in passing one or two of my toes. This instigates all manner of expressions of “tickledness” to play across my features. Some of these expressions are “real,” some are pseudo-histrionic, and others invented in the moment.

Such silliness quickly exacerbated due to its entertainment value to passing shoppers.

Among many others, I have also gotten the attention of a clerk who pauses in his rounds to obtain my attention, then points out that, should I wish to make a purchase, I might want to get in line.

During our brief interchange I see that, indeed, the whole area in front of me is dense with people pushing their shopping carts through line to check out, so I reply that I am waiting for the crowd to thin out a bit.

A truth, like some of my tickledness, contrived from the fabric of the moment.

Besides which, I have begun to realize I don’t necessarily wish to purchase the book after all, and began considering how best to put it back and depart without exhibiting too much cheapness of character – increasingly a quandary since I had been holding it with its pages curled back, which might have ever-so-slightly deformed its pristine character.

.sigh.

00368.02 | 1016| 303 : trash , be fixed , fix , recycle , or :

0045 19971016.0843’pdt’usa’oregon’BRidge’Thu@

garbage took guts

Something to do with picking up garbage and recycling it. Or in some similar sense picking through a truck or bin of heavy, accumulated, discard.

Or maybe picking up a garbage truck so it can be recycled.

No, that’s not it. [:[45]:] [:[46]:]

0323 19971016.0923’pdt’usa’oregon’corvallis’BRidgeCorThu@

abandonment issues [:[47]:]

Resembling the way up to Lake Tahoe on hwy 80 from more coastal areas, yet vistas more reminescent of smaller mountains, smaller trees, of Colorado.

Quickly along the highway in two vehicles, J getting ahead in the normal flow of things.

I pull over at a high point where the highway passes through a resemblance to a small mountain town, stopping as far to the right as possible, her vehicle less than 10 car lengths ahead as I pull mine to where it is almost touching the guard rail on the right. She meanwhile zooms downward so as to enter a sweeping obscured high-speed hairpin.

I watch for her to emerge from the unseen area, to then zoom up across the view to the right, yet am unable to discern her vehicle among so many others.

For the elder Cadillac I have been driving has manifested a problem whereby its left side has continued to lift so high that I become concerned it may tilt over the railing into the chasm right below; likely the condition that instigated stopping in the first place.

Only by stopping the engine does the car subside to the horizontal and, upon restarting, it rises rapidly up again, as though the pneums of its nature have lost track of continuing into a more noteworthy future.

Along the highway where I had thought to see J emerge at high speed are vehicles zooming yet, but a tad too small to make out details, except for the one displaying blinking lights, where a highway patrol officer has apparently pulled someone over.

It would be easy enough to imagine how I - for conflicting reasons - might both hope it is, and is not, her, but seems more likely not.

Mechanische Leute arrive with surprising rapidity to assist with curing the soul of the vehicle of its peculiar affliction, and so I practice the ancient skill of patiently waiting.

Pneuma non-moon.

00371.02 | 0909| 266 : woman or un-cubed two , too young a : [:[48]:]

0081 19970909’1004’utc’usa’oregon’corvallis’sBucks@

compelling attention , affection

A quite young woman, very kind-hearted toward me, taking my hand several times.

She makes mention of the Sierra Club in a context that may be similar to ours, outside near a semblance of a fairgrounds, my attention intrigued by a series of diminutive stepped-pyramids to about the height of a horse-jump, descending mirrorwise down the farther side.

Various folk are about, most all most happy. Though some few repetitively startled at such a persistence of so young a woman’s affections.

0290 20010909’0734’pdt’usa’or’corvallis’ah@

grace , amazing

One of the folk with whom I happened in such a moment to be clustered announced through the heavily-closed door, “Eight Europeans.”

Yet, upon starting through, they exclaim, “Hey!”

I of course realize I am not one of them, yet am irritated at what I feel to be their discourtesy; their slavish adherence to rules.

I thus enquire of the doorkeeper whether I might pass; he graciously nodding his head, then adding “Of course” as though to ameliorate , - or make a mockery of - such rudeness. Though perhaps merely a geekish parity-check to verify his nod.

Similarly, as though by way of re-emphasis, a brief later encounter with the same Group-of-Eight; exchanging neither pleasantries nor anti-pleasantries.

Similarly, neither entirely beneath the covers nor not, K_n , daughter and yours truly; said covers being formed into fuzzy manifolds variously covering and not. Time meanwhile translating variations of intensities into sequence-seemings - have aeons meanwhile passed as most minimal shoulder-rub becomes light back massage sweeping innocently into a peculiarly-pleasant caress of legs unto a somewhat less innocent gliding of fingers so lightly across most pleasantly rounded glutæi of so graceful a one. Or two. To whit a mildly-sensuous though gentle caress of said fundaments as though, per what Merlin said, to enquire.

"What is such madness? Of certaitude such freudian propensities shall not stand!" Yet, it is conjectured, they do.

If that were not enough then, over the phone the placement of a delivery from a gourmet restaurant. Undercover mom, K_n, ordering most delightful repast, though nothing whatever for me. That despite my having paid for said meal as, one might have presumed, a designated partaker thereof.

Sufficiently irritating that I up and leave, accompanied only by my cantankerous demeanour.

00372.02 | 0906| 263 : realty removal , really unreal :

0088 19970906’0830’pdt’usa’or’corvallis’bRidge@ 0067~

off market

Behind a city similar to a crisp and clean San Francisco blessed with quantiferous green foliage, mountains doing their inherent backdrop thing.

Aromatic Estates Rocky Mountain Realtor is fenced in a field with some few others; one being some random horse lady to whom we gave our big truck, she who did little or nothing in return.

It thus belatedly reasonable to take Aromatic Estates off the market for a while.

Tell him this despite the presumptions of a more spatiotemporal sense implying it having been long-already sold.

0284 19900906’0630‘pdt’usa’ca’santaRosa’LillieDr’@

picking his brain

They, the enemy, were surrounding an analogue of we sibling's mother's final home in Sebastopol, fanning out while heading into surrounding positions; wearing coverall-like uniforms of faded reddish-brown tones.

I moved rapidly toward the back of the house, grabbing a shotgun as I went.

One invader was either in, or breaking into, the analogue to our mother's bedroom, I too having headed there to get a weapon from the closet. Helping her move into a protected area where incoming bullets would be less likely to penetrate, I turned to grapple with the greater hazard.

In addition to behaving in most threatening manner, he was holding Aura the diminutive Siamese cat hostage.

Not having time to load the shotgun, I merely used it to smash in the back of his head and, in a manner appropriate to such states, commenced removing his medulla oblongata in fragmented pieces; rather resembling a broken sculpture made of ceramic.

While removing various chunks with one hand I did my best to alleviate his excessive squeezing of Aura with the other, afraid he might crush her to death.

Though he seemed to be slowly loosening his grip on Aura, he continued talking and minimally functioning, even after the majority of his lower brain stem was removed.

In returning to normative consciousness and physical being - embedded in anamayakosha - I feel most callous and brutal, curious as to why the such negative experiences are so much more easily remembered. Perhaps, I think, because the pleasant ones encourage drifting off to sleep.

Meanwhile at least one of us had an unfulfilled sense of obligation,
plus wavy hair - most similar to mine - at the base of his skull.

[:[49]:]

00380.02 | 0914| 271 : way of being , consideration for such a :

0117 20000914.1323’pdt’usa’oregon’corvallis’ah@

tease and the

Some thieves in the house.

But first the woman who apparently would prefer I follow her to the two men with her - the ones going through our possessions in the manner of looking for small items of jewelry
.
at
       some juncture
i      call 911
and    give
the    address
       which
is the actual address
       Here
,
yet
      time seemingly passes
and i find that version of myself
      conferring with the woman , “perhaps you would like to model?” and
by the time a phalanx of four can be observed moving past the door in their proper attire
I         feel
a bit     sorry for the thieves
and their disassembled car on
the       trailer behind
their     SUV
.

0263 19990914.0741’usa’california’Petaluma’LovingYa Ranch @

culturally unfathomed [:[50]:] yet (to be) married nonetheless

.
a girl in young woman style , or the other way about , approximating actualities arising upon some wave-crested moment , sometimes walking in most any small park in some sweet little town , living here near most delightfully familiar friends .

. families thereof and she full , all , of lovely livelihoods in manners sometimes so taken ; occasional walks along simpler pleasures . a much suchlike more pleasant state , as if of treasures of weathers upon later afternoons , e’en more upon thinking so in regard to each form anything might take amid those very concerns regarding tougher problems ; each such life lived in a manner of intending thus to be so solvable .

. her life thus cast as shadows might upon a manner of particularities of afternoons , walking up and along necessarily-pleasant pathways construed of harder substantialities construed via the very nature of each such straight and true consideration upon a later day set of challenges , no longer merely the exudate of supernovae , but life in presentation despite challenges such as marriage implying someone's notion of prostitution ; as if learnings regarding a nature of restitution presented upon a descent into states of eventual dissolution . that though merely the epiphenomena of aspects wherein age itself is in part a state of cultural hypnosis .

. in the manner of being sometimes upon and sometimes beneath things thus of some greater mind in the spirit of contrivance , strewn yet along flickering preponderances of actualities arisen upon so wave-crested a moment
.

00382.02 | 0916| 273 : labour relations , dubious(ly) human :

0108 19990916.0815’pdt’usa’oregon’corvallis’ah@

sweet, cunningly

Imagining a bolder frame maker in a home-improvement super-store, articulating her need to get on with her work.

Although passingly interesting - whether she is working in that particular business or not - there is meanwhile a shopping for items related to yet another project. Some project, surprisingly, with which she is involved. Or, less surprisingly, is not.

Whichever the situation - and whoever she actually might be - there is retained a residuum of memory: a woman comprised of a cunning blend of hard-working get-it-done frontier spirit and nubile woman: attributes of phase-change upon our moments of departures; that hug via whence goodbyes she me, “Sweet Art.”

0274 19970916.0815’pdt’usa’oregon’corvallis’BriaRidgebit@

curlve

A fellow with long dark curly hair half way down his back shows up perchance to rent some estate in a forest taken as my workaday habitat.

I inform him Realtor of Powered Hand Tools is taking care of this matter.

Other folk soon arrive; friends andor relatives of peculiarly-named women who might enjoy mildly paranoid walks 'neath Colorado Flatirons or hikes with her four-year-old daughter who carries her Teddy Bear and Golden Book in backpack up and over High Sierra. Of the two, relatives of the paranoid lady demonstrate more interest in getting to know me; I a tad paranoid as to motives and purposes they remain unknowns.

Pushing back the uncertain curtain of such bustle allows as good a time as any to phone some version of my mom from an archaic pay phone, there being no need to complete the entire effort of doing so, the call having meanwhile gone through of its own volition.

Guard-Boysky - or so I dub him - picks up and thus some confusion as to who I’ve actually reached, having not expected my mother to have a man’s voice.

Such scenes provide a sufficiency of detours by which to have decided the man with long dark hair might be a good tenant after all, while also having provided enough distraction to imply a situation that has meanwhile morphed so to into concerns regarding having missed a good opportunity.

As though to have been purpose-built to arrive at a missed opportunity get a most excellent tenant for, for example, the three-dimensional object of several tine-like columns aroused so as to meet a body of parallel constructs.

00386.02 | 1015| 302 : pleasantly oppositional , non-gracefully outrageous :

0054 20031015.0451’pdt’usa’oregon’corvallis’ah@

harmoniously opposite violescent

To learn the instrument of creamy golden hue and tones well-rounded, one must begin at a certain age, with a certain timing and certainty of sequence in a life among lives.

Conditions must be favorable that one can most successfully then learn and attain mastery of so mellow and beautiful a creamy golden violin.

0332 20021015.12:28’pdt’usa’oregon’corvallis’ah@

a descent man or two

Driving somewhere in his vicinity - for example Santa Cruz - in the car of J & I, he then pulling three long glass chopsticks out of a soft case, assembling them such that two are end to end in linear manner, and the third attached to the end of those, but at right angles. I laugh and joke that it is like an elegant and decorative pipe that a pot smoker might use. To my consternation he then puts a stick of incense in the upright end of it and begins puffing on the long end. He proffers it to me and, since it was not only impolite to not accept the pipe, but also obvious that there is no way it can actually work, I take a few puffs.

Whoa! Spacey, mon! Ohm…

Anyhow, after he - econoMon - sorta unnecessarily semi-mangles the passenger-side front-door lock on Chirper - our trusty old Subaru GL-10 of such times - with his Swiss Army Knife-cum-lockpick, we head on down the steep urban tree-laden slope, redolent with pleasant vegetation, along an old path of ancient human construct.

Somewhere along the way, econoMon’s wife shows up and joins us on our descent. There are a couple of difficult junctures, and at one of them they take a route more amenable to their lengthy frames, whereas I find myself going down a stairway that is enclosed, more resembling a fire-escape with each passing step.

Below me I espy a fellow sitting at a rough little table, a café scene on a very small balcony. As I pass through the little portal onto his ledge it sways alarmingly.

He, to semi-coin a word resembling plussage, [:[51]:] plussed –I too thus remaining so; again out of a sense of politeness.

We exchange a few words, then I move past him to descend further rungs of the old metal ladder, quite as insubstantial as those of the old music building on campus.

He remains, enjoying his beverage.

00393.02 | 0910| 267 : being , obscure :

0082 199809100h30e_AH@

referential calculi , minor sublimities of non-paradoxical

Leafing through the codex of one of presumedly copious quantities of "book-magazines" - I thinking of them as megamag-hybrids - in my keep; a large and bookish folio exuding style and substance.

Therein, an eclectic scholarly article amounting to a study detailing arcane aspects of psychical research, one of its handful of references regarding what I presume to have been one of the many works of some version of an inimitable Dr. T. Lobsang Rampa.

Has anyone heard of such a being?

0311 199809100h30a_AH@

light-made darkness

An infamous Rocky Mountain railroad-car-home realtor - plus perhaps one or two others - somehow managing to live in both places I had lived only once, in the Rocky Mountains and at the foot of the Coast Range.

Each somewhat uncomfortable with (the) knowing (of) the other.

At what, to me, seemed a pseudo-random time I entered the quaint door at the downhill end of one of likely multiple - or were they conjoined ? - cabins, entering via the nether end of a room recollected as rough and rustic, quickly noticing J at the sink of her bathroom, standing such that I was downhill and to her right. The floor apparently so "rustic" as to have had a slope.

She at first did not see me -- I not yet realizing, due to the darkness where I stood relative to the meager light where she stood, in the manner of one cleaning her face at a mirror upon a wall above and beyond the sink -- thus starting almost imperceptibly; then calmly mentioning how very difficult it was to see me standing in so obscured a manner.

As though having thereby launched, in ad hoc in situ manner, into investigation, I looked to my left where the openable aperture part of the wall, Hereabouts labelled "a door," stood with its own implication of apertures -- a small rectangular window barely a hand’s breadth along either major axis -- realizing that so slight a proportion light as thereby allowed - far less than the meager overcast coastal light available - created yet deeper shadow than would typically have been so, I thus less obvious - as I inexplicably thought of it - than the newest of moons.

Whether the two of them might choose to become more comfortable amid some other suites of happenstance, who is so bold as to conjecture?

00401.02 | 0925| 282 : fallacy by whom deserted , captivating :

0056 19980925i49_AH @

captivated

A young woman was in a similar state as mine though, having been captured earlier, seemed to have adjusted to our situation far more skillfully than I, the mere senator who, for the second time, was being forced to crawl about on the floor in a state of semi-bondage, bound by what felt like insulated wires.

0345 20000925.1113.a’pdt’usa’oregon’Coer.CampusBean@

we’ll be considering whirring within consequential wheels’ desire to partake [:[52]:]

After walking down the seaside hill sidewalk, past the bicycle-mongers I suspected of wanting to rent out bikes so as to acquire credit card information, despite having no reason other than their demeanor to think so, we eventually entered the funky nethers of a building beneath a restaurant.

Therein were several movable elements of architecture, one being a long and narrow hallway which, once we entered, lifted up so as to become a ramped corridor.

My dining partner traveled well ahead of me with what I took to be our guide, passing through doors and thus the kitchen, past a matronly asian lady with her back turned, and her willowy young daughter sitting on the floor making a remarkable and presumably edible sculpture.

In contrast to the view, that I thought of as oceanic, the restaurant had tables of cramped and pew-like proximity.

The food was various, but eventually a strong resemblance to a blonde graffiti artist of my acquaintance [:[53]:] appeared with a desert he had made - I thinking of it as a stiff custard with crumb coating – in the shape of a thick upright phallus resting upon testicular throne. A happy-enough construct of slightly mocking and humorous celebratory character that I had no desire to partake of whatsoever.

As he had handed it over somewhat surreptitiously, I was led to consider the possibility that, in his role as sculptor-of-desserts, this was not the normal order of business.

A while after that I saw another resemblance from Here - Milk da m'Uffin - leaving with her dinner-mate; having become of rather differing appearance - larger build and of somewhat formless chin - appearing to have been mildly cursed with nondescript character, [:[54]:] , neither she nor her partner meeting my eyes while exiting stage right, through the proper door, as contrasted with our improper entry and exit.

Thus, as if to escape the quandary regarding how we might manage to pay for our meal , things began to morph into brilliant colors, sleek sports clothing, bicyclists playing soccer, and so forth.

00415.02 | 0822 | 248 : just how might you feel ? reflections upon :

0032 19970822.0849’pdt’usa’or’corvallis’BriarRidge@Fri

considerations of reflection

Consider
,   should such be your nature
,   something about
not taking into consideration
    reflections in
the water
of multiple flying birds in
the picture
.
precisely in
such a
frame
.

0383 19980822.0715’pdt’usa’or’corvallis’ah@Sat

in the Treachery of the Trade

Keeping rather to himself. Silent, resilient, non-interactive. [:[55]:]

In (such a) time coming to realize that, in order to do the work prescribed, one required an equipment upgrade to the latest and greatest of accoutrements, both concrete and ephemeral, material and virtual. Thus hieing onward to the shop of those dimly related to him - the Chinese American flamenco guitarist of yore - and to the lovely wife never met - or even heard of - Here.

Understanding such an upgrade to be both extensive and memory-intensive, thus succumbing to realities’ hybridizations: the morphing of an elder form-factor with one even more venerable, thus creating as though an anthem new. Or ode to a few new appurtenances and apparatuses; or were they apparati?

Interestingly, upon being so installed, realizing that the parasentient device - into which said installation is occuring - is not quite one’s own. But, instead, something smaller, rather more archaic. It is in fact the parasentient belonging to the Asian American flamenco guitarist of yore, he of the Model T.

Even though ‘i’ had always found him most affable and friendly Here, how shocking to nonetheless realize my upgrade has gone into someone else’s unit. How strange and seemingly unfair that an individual ‘i’ have not seen in years – or much associated with other than a drive around a fragment of the San Francisco Bay in his archaic aforementioned auto – took (or was given) my legitimate trade-in, my upgrade and, it would seem, my job.

Thus it transpired that such a one - as ‘i’ was There - finds themself running across a land of high mountains -- for example the Himalayas , or perhaps the Andes -- heaps of garbage piled a story or two in height breaking open at such an individual’s feet, cascading out from beneath one’s running form, in most considerable hurry to get to such a place as will allow the rectification of this error.

Nonetheless, despite such a quest, upon returning to consensus reality - "the Here" - awakening, plugging in, and derivating; the sense of being “ripped off” still paramount.

Betrayal rampant.

Cunning displacement from rightful place embedded into the order of things.

Particularly such an order implied by those things regarding ones career-path.

Or, at such juncture, lack of career path.

00418.02 | 0802 | 228 : well-hinged inversion , unhinged death or :

0172 20010802.0809’pdt’usa’oregon’corvallis’ah@

shoulder the sketchy

Climbing the rightward-upward spiral staircase from within its self-created portal ‘i’ notice, only a few stairsteps – one rad or so – behind me, the Lord of Death – or at least a most skillful approximation of the Western version of that Transformative Figure – complete with to-the-floor Jesuit-style robe and an erstwhile and attentive attendant.

Sensing said Representative of Transformation following so close, ‘i’ turn and, with considerable alacrity, rush to embrace the deeply hooded form who, therewithin, is portrayed as a stern yet sketchy caricature – an almost child-like visage in chalk-on-charcoal of the Lord of Various Endings. Our relative angles causing the hug to be predominately engaged by my left shoulder. [:[56]:]

My eagerness in part stems from a lack of fear in approaching such a one following with such patient indifference, as though ready to be friends with most anyone.

Yet also there exists a tendency to go Elsewhere, to transform. Along with which a hint of an asian flavor, as though some lifetimes there helped give rise to such a response.

0246 20050802.0910’pdt’usa’oregon’corvallis’ah@

intermittent

.
riding
our interconnected
bicycles
.
in a certain manner that
for some of us
is   seemingly
tantric
.
peculiar
    interconnections
    these thus creating
an image of a lineage passing through
    time
    though really
(   merely   )
    having fun
  whereas
the officer of
the laws of earlier times
    might carefully point out
the thin furrow in the roof of
(   one’s   ) AngelCar
(   owned   ) once upon
a   time
    thus indicative , with some small effort
,   supplied in part by his friendly sniffing collie mix within
the pedal-well feet-compartment beneath
the steering wheel
    although
the furrow in
the roof consists of
    several small semi-round areas raised in
the manner of one half of a half of
an old-fashioned
hinge
.
officer explaining
the likelihood of it being a
“   point-two-oh round ; hand-made   ”
    plus some slight amount of
reiteration
.
but
the bicycle journey is really more fun
,   we   , traveling companions resembling
   toy ducks on a string to follow faithfully thus
   our toy duck
mother
.
though
     some few of us make occasional slight detour
     unto
this peculiar side-adventure or
that causeway or shadow place irregular of floor
     overlooking
the small river
or   large creek
;    strange negotiable angle-irons embedded in
the floor
     before rejoining our small cluster
in   our long journey up and over the arc of the hill into
     countrified regions
     reminiscent of DipSea climb
     up from Mill Valley,
     above Four Corners
     descending onward unto
the Vale of
Childhood
.

00419.02 | 1006| 293 : impromptu work situations , hyper- and dys-functional :

0166 19971006.0910’pdt’usa’oregon’corvallis’bRidge’corMon@

unplanned odour per a peculiar pressure

How might one categorize concerns regarding residual smells, while also allowing that discoveries can occur under peculiar circumstances?

As if, rather compelled to urinate, and happening to be near the stove at BRidge, I decide to do so in the dishwasher which, being dual-function, also happens to be the oven.

It taking only a few moments to realize said stream of water has great power - not quite like sand-blasting with frozen CO2 pellets rather than sand - and immediately utilizing the flow as pressure washer.

After a few moments arose one of potential problem with so novel a technique due to there being a considerable mass of on-the-loose french-fries therein, that would likely clog the drain. Not to mention what might be going on between the side of the washer-oven and the wall, wherefrom all variety of accumulated debris is being blasted out.

Although having apparently stumbled upon an amazingly effective technique, there is nonetheless the residual concern that shall remain an all-too-significant residual smell.

0253 19971006.0853’pdt’usa’oregon’corvallis’bRidge’corMon@

confluence of anomalies

Pulled into helping a crew working in the mountains; fire danger.

Having accomplished one such task, the “next day” be asked to do further work involving tools resembling pulaskis.

I reply I will if my back will let me, yet no one seems to accept that my back is having problems and does indeed hurt. Ah-well; perhaps their combined belief in my health shall prove to have made it so.

A naturalistical transformation transports me onto a resemblance of a director’s chair, strangely stuck due to my right hip being pinned beneath the right wooden arm.

I ask for help from a passing supervisorial type, who makes of it a joke, saying he will help in a minute before walking away. Thus an opportunity to feel mild frustration and anxiety at being unbelieved; a tendency to think I am disliked.

I instead taking it to be a pointer as to how various beliefs participate in modifying what we agree to be reality, and how others, including those non-consciously aware of doing so, prove unwilling to help one who they feel is obviously not making enough effort of their own, to thereby form a more functional reality for their alleged self -:- actually selves, but why strain the credulous by chat of other branches of experience. [:[57]:]

The contrary argument being that it is by just such "prescribed suffering" that we most rapidly learn the requisite lessons.

To thereby attain the suite of attributes previously desired by one's, as it were, future self.

00422.02 | 0726 | 221 : andor thwarting non- , implicatively nurturing evolutionary tendencies :

0176 19980726g55_Angels’Home

intricacies implying intimacies , switchably-pragmatic carrot-on-stick

. the bell labs asic-designer-cum-45-calibre-duelist [:[58]:] had a storefront with erotica , perchance a smidge of outright pornography , in the front section , a smattering of more serious books further in . quite likely a living area betwixt .

. just prior to that encounter ‘i’ had observed , attempted to purchase - or actually acquired - a electro-optical-mechanical digital media disk with pornographic still images - presumably photographs - on it , yet was carrying insufficient cash .

. as though to press the point of the exercise home , neither of 'my' credit cards worked in the proprietor’s credit-card reader . one being the wrong type . the other merely non-functional for inscrutable reasons .

. in the meantime the scene self-modified into a smaller , likely fairly standard , magazine store , of a style quite typical of such times , likely also purveying tobacco goods .

. the books at the back of his shop had meanwhile formed into a strong implication of a most substantial and serious library .

0249 19990726.0838’pdt’usa’oregon’corvallis’ah@

diagonal nutrients rounder of proportionalities

. a memorable downtown nutrient store , with a slight twist of consciousness recognizable as a magazine shop , further conceptualized as being on both sides of the street , wherein one desires and wants a bottle of mixed tocopherols , thence ineptly attempting to describe precisely what is desired to a sales-lady who proves quite capable of somewhat figuring things out ; thence serving up a fingertip-sized pear-shaped vitamin on a plate .

. also conceptualizing an alternative sales-lady who might actually be another customer , who has adorned herself with a physical dysfunction of some variety , perhaps so instantiating in the realm of what there seemed real . then again , perhaps having not .

. returning to conceptualization of sales-lady the first , imagine if you wish that she is shortish , with rounded muscular stomach , nonetheless managing to maintain an inherent cuteness as she goes up steps so as to cross the dingy urban street .

. most likely one also heads that same way a short while later , while noticing the proprietor noticing from shadowy depths amid reflections of some cross-the-street store or another .

. in a smidge a-yet-further-thereafter-worth of later , the littler lady emerges from her multi-storied store , also a home it might easily be presumed , it might as well have appeared that we were about to pass while going our opposing directions . diagonally . to the far side of the street . [:[59]:]

00424.02 | 0814 | 240 : refreshment of re-placement , what to do while awaiting :

0149 19980814.0741’pdt’usa’or’corvallis’ah@

mortar

Her shoulder-length hair was definitively dark and variably wavy.

As for the rest, only the part where the little diesel truck went a bit too far over the cusp where road meets driveway, sliding thus our way down the slippery slope to the front of her little cabin, accompanied by a sensibility , an awareness , that it would be wiser to leave it there until a dryer season, more conducive to extrication.

Others too lived along the little river, it quite ambiguous whether their dwellings included probabilistic second storeys as hers may, or may not, have.

Although other possibilities existed as to where the truck might have been parked, there never arose a regret or sadness as to which reality-tendril had been taken, and which others had not.

Yet the phrase, “Back to being another brick in the wall,” was recollected with precise fidelity while returning to physical reality.

0275 19990814.0926’pdt’usa’or’corvallis’ah@

bearing s

After learning that the woman, full of lip and bosom, pastel in tone and tendril, reminiscent of one whose fiancé is “of military;” preferring “career men.” One brief jog thus across a military complex, up through one of several steep tunnels, a corridor both toward and from solemn entropic rock hewn, a vacant chord drilled in among flaken pasts, along the customary planetary periphery, utilized for such earthly matters.

In such manner breathing heavier, steps shorter, a well-considered juncture attained, whereat walking proves faster, yet jogging proves more obligatory. Onward. Upward.

Through a sometimes gravelly, somewhat stepwise-delineated, comfortably-large glooming until emerging upon a phenomenology of newer challenges, a route intersecting a testosterone-enshrouded youth of men.

Men various though as though in shades of tall, traveling in packs predominately small. Apparently constrained such that each pack might accommodate itself to the confines of one vehicle as given; tinted glass connected within large glistenings of older metal.

Whether of age or exercise, weariness becomes an uncertain dialogue merging into a diagonal traverse begun.

Men younger yet enter and exit the base as such. Unwilling to stop.

Travelling thus instead to the intersection.

Departed thus from cave and intersection, at a juncture of arrival.

A remarkably small apartment; our pre-spousal unit as though previously-suggested.

Thus, so-potentiated to be predispositioned, a bit of dirt on the rim of the throat of the infamous -- elephant-arriving on-the-front - same elephant-departing on-the-back -- tee-shirt leading onward to an irascibility.

For wariness becomes an uncertain dialogue regarding how such military men, one or two already spoken with, shall prove well-aware of such discernible lapses from their immaculate nave of truth and awe.

00430.02 | 0723 | 218 : where roadways once reasonably-followed , as-(of)-yet-unemergant immigrants :

0029 19990723.0628’pdt’usa’oregon’corvallis’ah@

two hour hastily-hushed hustle aside

. an executive-sized guppy-like plane of wide and glassy nose landing upon a roadway of moderately heavy traffic ; somehow relating to german men or a german event .

0401 20050723.0541’pdt’usa’oregon’corvallis’ah@

accurately thinking though not of antediluvian revelation with allemande

.
advertisement or sign stating “Rescue this Woman from Her Torture” ; o beauteous lady of escort amid a life of inverted degradation in being so
definitively upside-down , strangely semi-erotic , cross-legged posture more
yogic , a trick of false advertising , than any actuality of situational semi-lotus inverted bondage perchance , should manufactured signage so-taken to rapidly imply one might have saved her from each such plight well-portrayed or , de minimus non curat lex , having checked her out from her torturer , controller , pimp , friend , andor brother as might any thus randomly-opened library book .

. ‘i’ just such a one as ought better have well-so-recollected , yet was distracted with concerns of keeping her well-protected yet , having so relented , rented and never returned her amidst so urban a squalor whereby she and ‘i’ upon our spontaneous bandobast now well and onward deployed , well-traveled , predominately afoot coming thus in time to this very hill within so turbulent a clever skin thick with befloodment , rapidly aflow or , more specifically , an omnibus amidst heavy flooding or , more accurately , merely some semi-truck unable further to go per its driver's command and control , so kindly a driver who , as we stroll up its interior length amid round-cornered windows , upon either side various though predominately parallelogram in motif well-protected from such times too turbulently fluidic upon a
chaos
.
he
the driver informs and directs
go ahead and kick one in so
to make ourselves
a room among so many potential
rooms ; our small domicile ‘i’ supposed might have
been mistaken for a train containing
vague thoughts of finding
some weaponry whereby to search for food to
get our small group through most any rough winter while
a considerable abiding concern amid
the down the hill well below where
among others the driver
, remain
...
so mighty a tractor's
great diesel engine
meanwhile steadily idling , idling , idling as fuel oil drips to remind us
of combustion , explosion , fire , a generation of
toxicities or
vaguely salacious thoughts as to how our next
generation might well have come
to the place of having had
a salacious thought or two of their own
offspring upon
some
newer wilderness of care and feeding and thus to
hunt in
a place
so post-
apocalyptic
.

00432.02 | 1023| 310 : the ruled , rules and :

0089 20021023.0737’pdt’usa’oregon’corvallis’ah@

ballena en una placa

She has a very small whale or three out of water prepared, it seems, for eating.

After a while one of the little beings looks beseechingly in my direction, longing for some moisture on their parched skin while she remains preoccupied with something or another while sitting just beyond it, waving her fork about while discussing andor explaining something or another.

I’m subsequently surprised - almost shocked - to realize I didn’t move to save the blackish little being, its miniature tail aloft; a ballerina’s swan song. [:[60]:]

0343 20001023.0725’pdt’usa’oregon’corvallis’ah@

law and dhamma

Driving down a mountain - mildly similar to Marys Peak - in AngelCar, being pulled over by an officer of the law who immediately opened the hood due to his observation of smoke pouring out the back; smoke I’d observed not in the slightest. He then sprayed fire retardant along the metal from which radiator fluid had apparently leaked, thereby providing fuel for the conflagration he had therefore extinguished.

Despite the peculiarity of radiator fluid being flammable, I said nothing.

Driving on, I am pulled over again, by an unmarked police car with stroboscopic colored lights cleverly embedded in the space above the windshield and below the roofline, somehow arriving at the house of the second police officer, a woman seemingly living with her mom, who is perhaps my age, and seeming pleased that her daughter has a man about the house as she flits about in the scene's peripheries.

The officer-cum-daughter” too seems to enjoy my presence, despite our communication having a hybrid nature – half pleasant social interchange and half implication that I might or might not have run afoul the law.

A boy of perhaps five years of age is also there, and he and I chat a bit, that leading to yet another verbal interchange, wherein she comments that, in this year 2000, a goodly number of children have been born, and we will just have to wait and see which among them might prove to have been the Second Coming.

Though it was not clear why, such comments - combined with her dark complexion - somehow led me to consider her as belonging to the Catholic faith.

Within the vignette, part of the reason I was in the officer's good graces seemed to be related to it happening to be my birthday; though certainly not my birthday Here.

Thus a sense of various beliefs, along with rules based upon such beliefs - among them societal rules and mores - plus a sense of being held to certain standards, particularly per those sustaining a sort of sanctity regarding said beliefs.

00452.02 | 1025| 312 : variations , edutainment :

0194 19971025.0723’pdt’Sat’usa’oregon’corvallis’BRidge@

mass in metal

A property in the general vicinity of Muir Woods -:- a wide spot carved into the hill near the bottom of the grade leading up from the esteemed park to the rectilinear brick mailbox pillar my step-dad - Bud da - made where our childhood drive, Camino del Cañon, met the grade-in-question, Muir Woods Road.

I was there via some minimal manner of being, painting over a work of art done by some other artist - that seeming quite reasonable to me due to it having a price tag of $15 or so, though I soon thought something to the effect of, "Gosh, I hope I wasn’t making a mistake, and it turns out to have been worth $15,000 or $15,000,000."

Through the trees above could be occasionally seen some heavy equipment, parked yet occassionally in use, as though its presence a merge of mundane destiny plus some sort of temporal striation density.

I was similarly having some problems with the paint beneath that I was applying, for it had a certain thickness that, unsurprisingly, tended to - via a sort of occasional and random nonchalant shock - re-manifest via what I was painting.

0258 19971025.0748’pdt’Sat’usa’oregon’corvallis’BRidge@

rooting for robo tree

Talking with a fellow who seemed likeably-ordinary.

In the course of our discussion I discovered he was getting a higher degree, but was not particularly proud of himself, his doctoral research being ancillary to a project some lady had discovered; he thus feeling it would be inappropriate to truly consider it his own original research.

My estimation of him went up due to such humility, even while realizing it was quite silly to do so.

A quick overview of his research imparted the impression of it being of a psychological and statistical nature.

As he and I walked along busy hallways of alternative byways, we came upon the street-person-mathematician from Boulder who helped paint j's & my house and who is lying upon a narrow bed or cot with most of his head in a cast that has some sort of accessory gizmo of aluminum and plastic to hold his mouth open so he can go to sleep yet continue to breathe.

I inquire as to how long he will have to keep it on and he replies, “Oh, about a year.” Though finding his response ghastly I say nothing.

The fellow I am accompanying, vaguely yet increasingly reminiscent of a certain physical therapist I often see at the local recreation center, asks the mathematician if he would like some water, which brings to my attention both how his head is so heavy with the cast apparatus that he might have difficulty lifting it up to drink, and that there are yet more such devices upon his body.

00453.02 | 0816 | 242 : incipient as to conflict , departing zones :

0102 20010816.0756’pdt’usa’or’corvallis’ah@

wisdom self-arising and self-assimilating

Upon a similitude of Hawaii, many folk on our way to a local festivity; perchance a fair.

A traveling companion exits the small open traincar in which have been traveling; goes down to the join where land makes sand by protruding through so vast an ocean.

Later, at the fair, ‘i’ carry a smallish Siamese cat about, our arrangement working quite well for goodly time, until she becomes agitated by some leashed nearby dogs and makes a jump for it, running off among other fair-goers.

Abandonment issues abound amid uncertainties as to whether ‘i’ shall prove capable of finding her ever again.

0351 19980816i14_AH @

At the table ‘i’ am warned by the charming lady of slender-ankles, not entirely youthful, that my opponent in the game is a noted young master; a horned helm ensconcing his pondersome sitting there at further end, surrounded by a band of roughly-hewn rough-clad colleagues:- youthish ruffians; testosterone-friends or fiends perchance.

Whereby is set my mind to Mild Ponder, wherein needed symbols arise and appear, as though to yield thus a palate of wildly random answers: a pictured sun and amacord-beast of romagnolian remembrances resting on branch, or most any simple stave sans beastie at positions Noon and One, yet not nary no word regarding so beastiary a herd sitting afore nor abaft the board in its reach.

To stretch thus to place thence upon said board a token symbol of Realm Whatsoever; a game o’ which ne’er I've heard, a triviality when compared to - as though ignoring not her scarcely-implied not-quite advice - sheltering down ‘neath table so as to espy so many orderly legs a'sittin' upon well-ordered chairs folding each unto some smiling visage enjoying my pet-portrayal posture; grins of more than one well scanned.

Yet, amid so many waters arisen perforce too so forced, having risen yet again bothering me only in the slightest though, with clothing disembrogliod - a badder form of orderliness - forced thus to worry not a whit re such private sensibilities of exposure upon so minimal a time prior to whisking away.

Thus, before any chance of neither losing nor winning our game of young masters barely out of skate-boards, a hoary ignoring also of hairy exposures arrayed in nether disarray -- some magnet-bodied possessor of clear waters rising up table's legs, then off toward garden-ensconced home of slender-ankled lady of charm, not entirely youthful, up upon her highlands.

Closer inspection reveals her home rather surplus, irregularly humble as to tilted floor where hills abound around her plus elderly husband; no rudeness however in readiness for wedding or sermon dressed.

Departing involves leaving, driving, moving, and keeping as though ever-more distant for a goodly more-or-less resemblance to yet another version of now.

00454.02 | 1012| 299 : advices , devices and :

0189 19991012.0832’pdt’usa’oregon’corvallis’ah@

interchangeability of interludes

A Book of Things to Know About: a most helpful book directed at young men growing up.

An earlier situation (2.71828), wherein J and I had been walking along carrying an ancient artifact, or at least a modern copy of an ancient artifact, taking it to a knowledgeable neighbor for her scholarly opinion.

A yet earlier situation -- (2) , or perhaps part of 2.71828 -- wherein I had a marvelous device made of string which, when in flight, looked quite similar to the little airplane it was. Yet in only a few strategic places had the string been stiffened with glue, the device for the most part being floppy, taking on the properly-inflated aerodynamical state (it had been previously taut [sic]) only upon beginning to move through the air.

Earlier yet (1) had been a situation in which I was angry with my biological mother regarding, Here, regarding the issue regarding the one she called “her nephew," but was actually an interloper from far away.

Perhaps, I suggested, I should just swap names with him.

Advice I quite likely quoted to her during some variety of phone-call, Here.

0265 19971012.0134’pdt’usa’oregon’corvallis’ah@

harlequinade of interminable vistas

Nightmare as though loosely based on some film I'd seen, 'bout how the large toothed animal gets even in the end, after its unfair and mean treatment and torture.

But was it an animal? Or a human who I knew?

In one of the last scenes one of the villains is smashing at its front teeth, yet I realize it will soon triumph and say so to the person observing with me, perhaps J. We are apparently Observers, though that might have changed at some point.

As I return to this peculiar little reality, I “almost hear” a vaguely threatening chit-chat, “she was 20, he was 40,” or similar, leaving me apprehensive about who’s being considered to be right, and who is wrong, and why and how retribution will be delegated; and to whom designated.

In the alternate reality, however, things seem more certain; retributory justice just around the corner.

Either earlier, or in some other sequence of events altogether is something regarding a fellow who has an intriguing globe he is carrying about.

It shows ocean currents and is designed for the adventurer so they can find their way about the world. It seems to shows the current flow of weather and geophysics all about the world and is a most prized object he has had for years, I wondering how he managed to carry it about for such a very long time, since it is a foot or more in diameter.

Perhaps it was inflatable, though it didn’t look so; or perhaps of such great value that it’s worth the hassle. [:[61]:]

00472.02 | 0930| 287 : interrelationships , killing peculiar :

0138 20010930.1623’pdt’usa’oregon’corvallis’ah@

murder at file's end

On the crest of a hill, far above pleasnt precipitous valley, I move rapidly against the last in line.

All too easily do I strangle him, then remove his elaborate holster of woven and polished leather, automated pistol therein, the workmanship of such tools-of-limited-use at strange odds to his limited wardrobe, and also to that of the others of his party who, strangely, are also upon the ground.

While inspecting various fancy workings and limited stashes of bullets, randomly arise some among them in manner most taunting, daring me to shoot yet again and finish them off.

I, however, am not interested in doing this, as they are neither of immediate danger to me, not to the attainment of my goal; a goal for which I will require every bullet I can manage to not have previously spent.

0334 19990930.0658.Coer.’pdt’usa’oregon’corvallis’ah@

dimensions within the proteins

Just before liftoff I am getting into mightily small and compact vehicle of heroic familiarity. It is not until my hiking-booted feet are fully in that I realize AngelCar to be about the size of, though more elegant than, a typical end table. And needs to be “unfolded,” pulled, andor otherwise assembled by stretching and fastening a small number of heavy-duty membranes.

Whether construed as pre-launch activity, or merely a previous vision of a prior provisioning, unknown. [:[62]:]

In either event a big build-up of technologies in which I participate.

Example one point conveying last-minute paperwork to our across-the-street neighbors, asking a man met regarding who might be in charge meld to
similarity standing just outside the glass building saying he is indeed such a one.

To one or the other version of him is handed the paperwork, wrapped envelope-like around a reminiscence regarding nuts and bolts that I ask of him to "Take on up to Bill." [:[63]:]

This he does.

Thus does the launch happen to be successful, eventuating in our being in space yet not in space, the satellite above quite the Garden of Eden, while nonetheless a project, a venture. An enterprise working well while, via the strange simultaneity of being a project coincident with an unexpected ménage à trois -- Grecian Statue, Polka-dot Moonbeam, Yours Truly -- three childhood classmates half a century later yet supple still and young, up upon the satellite of hills, vales, slow preliminary love-play, tender-filled brilliant colors upon fields flowing with lazy impetuosities of longing.

Exquisite streams however soon unthread and contexts unravel as Polka Dot Moonbeams divulges she cannot remember when first we two made love.

I am astounded.

She assures me she truly cannot.

Being young and impetuous, I become irate. I arise. This is too much. None of it makes sense. Or, for that matter, matters. Nor does the project matter.

As none of it suddenly matters not at all, I stomp off, unwell in spirit.

Well gone I.

00473.02 | 0817 | 243 : система , кастовая [:[64]:] :

0089 19980817.0843’pdt’usa’or’corvallis’ah@mon

departed dive

.
over
the side of a ship jumps she
that her dad - of somewhat equally large
and impressive vessel
- may readily scoop her from the sea
; that lure enough and as for reward , merely
to have impressed we others; no further need to frequent
interminable lines
, tested in terminable ways
.
just so that, whatever her motives
a jump so grand proves
as nothing to one such as she,

though to others, resembling for example
one like me, most likely
a bounding
condition
.

0384 20020817.0936’pdt’usa’or’corvallis’ah@

enlightenment-enshmightenment , and other positional attractions

A Tiburon-resembling place. [:[65]:]

A long vacant drive. Barren hills. Seascapes all about. Far below, a vista of wealth. Fluid surfaces asparkle between further vistas of affluence, intermittently seen while driving so exotic a sportscar to visit so remarkably wealthy a fellow, most actively into such vehicles.

Upon offering, he takes said car for drive, during which one receives a cell-phone call from Colorado.

A lady wants very much to move to the Bay Area; might one be able to find her a place in the $150,000 to $250,000 range?

It is unfortunate that one must say what one must, yet fortunate that she never sounded particularly hopeful to begin with. It is also fortunately unfortunate that the connection is very poor, and that one is very busy.

Yet she seems somewhat desperate -:- one quite presumptively and uncharitably presuming it to be a sort of desperation some women experience while accelerating through middle years toward menopause.

One says they’ll have to call her back. At least if her number is in the phone's memory.

The exotic sports car and its passengers return. Leaving that, the absurdly wealthy fellow pulls around his hybrid VW with a most peculiar and slightly-diagonal squared-off “dog bone” powerplant, running the length of the vehicle on a diagonal. He jokes about taking the air conditioner out of said VW in a manner inducing one to wonder whether he’s joking regarding installing it into one's own.

During all this abides a prior knowledge obtained in scree-covered mountains, the location of a most valuable video of the alleged master terrorist of such times – the one known as “the Sheikh,” taken when he was in the planning stages of his attack on the US; a video buried somewhere amid high mountains. Strangely convinced that it is worth a rather puny fortune - a million dollars or so – if only one might remember where it was, then get it to the proper news agency.

In relating such a tale, finding oneself suddenly far more interesting to the listener, yet all that amounting to nothing other than an attempt at extricating oneself from yet another situation of wasted time, even less valuable than pondering absurdities such as, "As now ‘i’ lay me down to sleep my car says things, for example “Beep, beep.”

00478.02 | 0715 | 210 : frozen smoke , thighs and things andor thoughts as:

0066 20030715.0759’pdt’usa’oregon’corvallis’ah@

alien vapor [:[66]:]

Dr. McCoy emulates a suggestion of frigid air inside an alien van.
Upon looking again, one realizes he is either doing this with cigarette smoke, or that the air is so cold in there that he can blow his breath as though smoking.
One must surmise that the lady accompanying him - the one with the spiky beehive hairdo - is in all likelihood the alien.

0412 20030715.nnnn’pdt’usa’oregon’corvallis’ah@

god circuits [:[67]:]

. like the human form itself, the angel-car too had its various peculiar problems as did also this block of text that is , in actuality , not an afterthought , though when the end might arrive , rather uncertain . not that it yet mattered , as there really is no choice other than to keep driving gently , in the hope it shall not fail in catastrophic manner as others trek the leaf range in japan , never particularly far from that straight line of trail along its midline ; belief in a leaf route of pilgrimage .

. a grouping not including mount fuji but , instead , the much more regular tracing .

being
a guest in their house
, it so impolite
to secrete this
video camera
across the room from
where was
uncle andor father fondling
this young japanese woman
barely into womanhood
finding her sensibilities disturbingly amid
quite a gamut of enjoyment and
repulsion
.
in just such manner one or more of
we have just become self-
same young lady
nigh whom sits yet
rather older
one-or-the-other . returned
now from varieties of
quickness as if visiting
a sister or other odd visit to , in
ancillary spaces mate
said mate grasping even now
his arm in a manner
somewhat slightly ; slightly too
appreciatively
.
having
thus no particular
predilection , presumption
, nor one way nor an other
, all nonetheless
transpiring as thus-things
; friendly ‘nough as to matter
as to aesthetics of
manner
.
his
sister to explain
she’s just now gotten over
what she had previously considered
her problem of , as she put it
“ being bi ” to which a lack of available response
, for having never known her as so nor , had such knowing been present , having cared , had he known
and . returning thus
to his seat he rests
his leg
ever so slightly
upon young japanese woman’s thigh
to give her thus his
most reassuring squeeze
, knowing , unlike
others thereabout , she shall not
particularly care , simultaneously
one way and the
other
.
for , once it is so
you have haved-introduced two half-notions
good karma
bad karma
as an introduction to God , anti-God , +God , –God
embedded deeply within each
unique entity's
integral most high
, of which we - each supposed microcosmic
individual -
delight well the visited sister's
instantiatively sinister
derivative
.

00488.02 | 1028| 315 : anesthesia , hypnosis via :

0149 19991028.01328.Coer.(StarBucksEugene)@

surgical displacement concurrency

.
something 11-8-41
        – state specific learning
… the     one who remembers
         (on some level)
the                surgeon
(who was)          cutting upon her
when                            she
was                under the effect
of some           pharmacological substance
for                some   other    work
... the            doctor sitting outside
the                area where
the                rest of us are
... really quite a large crowd inside
... a              number
of                 people
                   sitting
at a               small table
.
     precocious    little girl sits
at a     nearby          table
.
“You definitely have to do kissing to get to that point,”
she tells her two other friends
,    similarly diminutive
;
     without             further                  clues
it remains difficult to ascertain whether
she is yet the same little girl even now
,              older
or             otherwise
.
for, on occasion
     one opines ,
     find thee
          the emotions of
       a little girl
         inhabiting
the      anamayakosha of
a        woman
.
but this is not that
.
merely precociousness
.

0339 19971028.0641’pdt’Tue’usa’oregon’corvallis’BRidge@

intensity , a curiously-(de)constructed

She and I coincidentally meet in a long park not far from a sort-of-CU-Boulder. We chat a bit, having an almost-picnic together. We hug and I am somewhat surprised, finding myself assuming she is worried her consort might see her, or that I might retaliate for prior cruelties directed at me. We kiss from within our hug and it’s an okay kiss, yet far distanced from any variety of transcendent world-stopping kiss. In late twilight I am surprised to open my eyes and notice her eyes also partially open, looking at me with a curious intensity.

Our brief almost-picnic concludes as she makes a comment or two, then walks to where her little van is parked some distance away; it taking awhile for her to enter and get things going. She drives off in at least one of two possible directions, as though such ambiguity enhances her ability to slowly loop past where I stand, waiting. She makes a desultory comment in passing -- one of those comments ripe with “parting significance;” I retain no memory as to what it might have been.

I express such minimal response as to resemble nothing in return, mostly feeling a mundanity of infinite patience; eternal waiting. Perhaps I wave goodbye.

After she drives slowly off I walk up toward The Hill, where I chance upon some frightened folk alone, one of whom, a woman, turns to me, I thus learning that she and perhaps another have been ripped off by some “Christian” thugs.

Out of the dimness, a trio can be seen ascending the mount. We turn away; they run toward us. Perhaps we run too. They apparently are liberating various personal effects for purposes untoward.

A more peculiar segue unto a vicinity of a middle-aged fellow ranting on regarding some Biblical reference to the "T’wer of B’bel" and suchlike.

Though charismatic, he is inadequately inspiring.

More inspiring is my need to get on across a little bridge with what seem to be unusual concrete forms strewn about; a construction site perchance.

00491.02 | 0806 | 232 : scientific complexities , oddly non-ominous vehicle of :

0047 19980806f45_Angels'Home @

pre-catastrophic incrementally emotive vehicular model

The Next Apple Security Professor has – or is purported to have – a nuclear device.

It would be nice to get away from where he is, but ‘i’ have become concerned he may have secretly placed that device somewhere in or about my vehicle.

Increasingly ominous. [:[68]:]

0444 20020806.0647’pdt’usa’oregon’corvallis’ah@

a fair and willing lady , (an) amok way to approach

A small town resembling a pleasant parallel version of Bolinas, California.
I had been give a lift by an individual quite similar, if not identical,
to someone easily alluded to as the Philosopher-Librarian Tibetan Temple Lumberjack, in his nice new big white truck. Who, after a bit of driving, dropped me off in the thereabouts.

Or perhaps it belonged to the irascible fellow working amid the shrubberies with expensive tools nigh where ‘i’ was attempting to look up the appropriate phone number in the local phone directory with the surprisingly crisp and pale paper and far more pages than expected – a very few of them being Yellow Pages. For ‘i’ had been going to call J with my cell phone to warn her of the immanent arrival of our truck-driving guest, then realized
that, since ‘i’ was outside our home area, “roaming” fees would make it less expensive were ‘i’ to use a pay phone.

Yet, instead of her number - which ‘i’ would have already known - the person whose number ‘i’ was attempting to look up preparatory to phoning was seemingly of the same first name as the Philosopher, but a last name quite identical to that of a high-school friend. [:[69]:]

As if that was insufficiently confusing, it then transpired that ‘i’ was suddenly wherever ‘i’ had been so intent on getting to, presumably J and my home, and the lady who had dropped me off, or otherwise manifested in that locale with a certain elegance and regality, had inexplicably entered the environment to express an exotic - perhaps erotic - curiosity via what ‘i’ thought of as dancerly exploration thereof. Among other activities, dipping her unclad fanny in a sort of not-entirely-pristine demi-bidet-cum-bathtubette. In so doing managing - at least in silhouette - to display various other attributes of her attractive middle-aged physique for my momentary perusal. Leaving me to wonder whether her reveal was deliberate or accidental. And, in either event, whether it more polite to glance, or to avert from glancing.

A few other subtle cues then led to my wondering whether she was subtly suggesting we engage in an affair – ‘i’ somehow extrapolating that into thinking she might wish be experience being an adulteress. [:[70]:] It never occurring to me that ‘i’ had actually arrived at J and my house in a future wherein we had become middle-aged. Instead managing to contrive a consideration as to whether "If ‘i’ were living with me, would ‘i’ want to continue living with me?"

Then, based upon my answer to my question, preparing to modify what ‘i’ found needful of changing, without making a big deal of it.

00508.02 | 0705 | 200 : critique , gDao of manipulanda : [: [71] :]

0015 20020705.0805pdt’usa’oregon’corvallis’ah@

parking lot repeat

.
parking
lot . discussion . earlier
met
.
business
related
.
repeat.[:[72]:]
.

0493 20030705.0720pdt’usa’oregon’corvallis’ah@

hidden agenda

.
since
this vast and mighty business
is a fiefdom strangely nigh
what we quaintly call
a gas station
we fellows work together . . . several men we ,
compatriots in undertaking this
potential job
potential
.
perforce
go nude
or clothe
in possibilities various
; sport coats
    or synthetic shell
; pleasant greens
    or earthen
tone
.
just as they, over time, learn idiosyncrasies 'mine'
, so too do ‘i’ learn theirs
.
interesting tendencies
; one’s compatriots
may borrow articles of one’s clothing,
then critique them as to
color and fashion. But, due to sharing a certain
commonality of purpose, quite devoid of self-awareness or introspection,
the motives of their criticism remain virtually unknown,
especially to them,

rather like that famous critic
,           that notorious vampire living
on the blood of those critiqued.

Borrow, criticize.
Loathe.
Borrow, criticize.
Drain of humanity.

or anything else
more to the liking of
the Borrowers
, lovely people who
partake and critique
per their self-given
dominion
.
All rather quaint and
I didn’t expect to get the job
anyhow since, beneath                                 ( let us assume )
the arch of
her overpass…
a most lovely woman preferring under the circum-
stances to be atop so as to fully
stop ; encouraged thereby to
choose from such palettes of
pleasure’s pressing , some
abdominal , possibilities
noticing also that she is
, ah
, sans culminating ecstatic capabilities
; as some might insist frigid, though rather enamored
of remaining just so as if the journey was at least as
important as any reputed
goal . nonetheless
, she wishes to publish
that very music sung
during her copulations
.
a lovely and remarkably familiar
melody so happening such that
one knows with whom she might have been
so very connected , such that fame and fortune
do follow . and yet
so strangely
the music so sung - as though love being made -
has been heard already                so long
long ago
.
a famous tune of its day - some prefer night
- and thus is it managed
with some certain(ty of) effort
to notice the case of it having been
published once or twice in its place
, the middle of a previous century
1952 or 1958 or similarly even number
and so , in so searching
it also discovered , her hidden agenda
to cure one of such a malady as this
passion of the art which
, forsooth, her mind considers
at least an aberration
, though too kind to think of
pleasures' pressing some abomination
of the mind , considered
through her filter of
dysorgasmia ; thus become becalmed and apparent
though she well-attempts to hide
that the inorgasmic she
has decided to help the creative we
return to her definition of normative
sanity . thus has another one of we
come to have the hidden agenda two
– that , after all is said and done
, he shall help her not
succeed
.

00535.02 | 0831| 257 : antipathies , aquatic : [: [73] :]

0264 20010831’0811’pdt’usa’or’corvallisah@

boiling friend fish

So mundane a psychopathy.

You know of that round fish of pleasant-seeming? That fish constructed predominately of innocent intent?

Nonetheless is it imprisoned in that tank; a transparent tank.
Some might posit a kharmic tank despite its lack of relevant action.

Someone, most likely me, is turning up the heat. For it is important that the solitary fish, apart from others of its kind, its school - none dare posit family - be boiled while still alive.

Why? Well, there is a gustatory desire upon the repaster's part. And, thus, a cook's desire to impart the correct, ah, flavor to the resultant, um, entity. Or rather - pardon my blunder - food.

I can quite clearly perceive the terror and agony in such wide-open eyes, though ‘i’ cannot hear the terror in its silently screaming mouth. Who designed a mouth to open so wide while remaining so silent?

Anyhow, ‘i’ am merely a human among other humans of utter unconcern regarding sensations and emotions of non-humans; the it that it is.

That it is inherent; an innate understanding of how entirely inappropriate it is to do anything out of line with what is required by the societal necessities of my situation, my little group, my little school-room of -- please insert laughter here, for example ("ha-ha") humanity.

Such are these excuses: why, so obligingly, ‘i’ turn the most excellently-contrived hi-tech control to a higher setting while noticing - an abstract indifference - that, although the little fish is loosing mobility, it somehow manages to turn toward me, looking into my eyes with what ‘i’ - anthropomorphical fool - regard as deep understanding.

0271 20010831’0753’pdt’usa’or’corvallisah@

bicycles upon waters

Our window, close nigh waters lapping concrete wall; the wall through which we peer per some presumed pierage.

Certainties of fascination hold our observations:

One, then another, moving closer from across the wide bay and, before that, from the open ocean’s far horizon: a beyond of open ocean wherein and whereupon a nondescript vessel or two -- also a large, despite so distant, oil tanker -- lie at anchor.

The first not much different from any regular bicycle, though the frame is of an older style. Higher. Curvier.

Nor are their wheel-analogues likely identical as to what pass for diameters.

It is the first of these aquatic vehicles that lays out the slender “first line” to soon become the common thread to guide the subsequent ones. Its rider looks at us somewhat absently as we peer out through our little portal, seeming neither particularly friendly nor unfriendly.

The subsequent vehicle is more elaborate -- of greater complexity, with an extra rider or two. Seemingly laying out a somewhat larger cable, anchoring it to the wall of what might be our dwelling, though a hundred meters or so away from our immediate location.

Such following fellows seem a bit more determined, a bit more driven and even more devoid of emotion. Or, if there are emotions, they do not include friendship toward us; we apparently of no great import.

Only a brief while after the second group has peddled away on their contraption that the entire bay lights up, engulfed in flame most everywhere.

My assumption is that the flame is somehow related to the cable, likely also to the oil tanker.

00541.02 | 1020| 307 : annoyance-mediations betwixt , ways to the coast(s) plus :

0223 19971020.0912’pdt’Mon’usa’oregon’corvallis’BRidge@

Embryo Rd

A familiarity with them. Roads.

Walking about a smaller body of water. Throwing an old pot like a shot; a pan like a discus.

Some woman or two after me. Some Smithsonian Jewelress heads her off. Or is it the other way around?

Sliding down the worked-on road, wondering who will be so noble as to hire the elders.

Not asking when he goes into the whatever-it-is cafe; likely not knowing there is anything to ask.

Asking the one presumed a cook, the one he brings out with him, how many eggs.

Who then goes back and gets yet another: more embryonic protein unto the mix.

Asking after skiing on the mud down the road -- timing is important in skiing such as this , as heavy equipment moves across the road on a schedule peculiar to its own kith and kin.

There is a realization consisting of Knowing I might know the politician responsible for putting in the road these guys are working on. In jus such a sense, and potentially others, this road connects to existing roads made by those long-ago departed, such as myself.

Yet realizing I don’t like roads all that much -- since teleportation or mechanistically levitating vehicles is so much nicer -- yet honoring them and their builders.

As for necessitations of proteins, who might have predicted?

0318 19971020.0216’utc’usa’oregon’corvallis’Cor.BRidge’Sun@

alternative construct

We - my old friend(s) of vaguely Jewish-albeit-hybridizedly-so demeanour and I - are to go on a trip to the farthest time zone to the north-east, which, were it Here, would map as Saint Johns or so, just beyond the timezone of three hours difference, into the delta of four, to rent a car, not necessarily a Cadillac, to drive more-or-less to Florida, not necessarily the Ozarks, so as to fly back to where we currently are in the Northwest though not necessarily Washington.

I mention what a long undertaking this shall prove, merely to access where we already are.

Were.

Meanwhile, in a slam of deeply roiling water, perchance the base of a cliff, a young man near drowning.

My friend and I to his rescue hie amid such deadly surge.

Yet, before we manage to have done so, our heroics obviated, young man having found purchase upon a bar of white sand beneath frenzied fractal surge and shore, standing more uncertainly than not, a Balfour finding his shoreward way perchance; we sufficiently presumptuous as to declare him safe enough.

For the family of my friend(s) have their own problems -- admittedly of relatively trivial import, though such relatively irrelevant relativities, per the usual nature of self-involved humans -:- aboded nearby. Above downstairs neighbor problems manifesting as an intentionality of music playing way too loud.

Whereupon one such as I might well have decided to annoy the family of my friend - or the annoyers of the family of such; pleasantly-hexagonal as to ancestry.

Nonetheless, via peculiar wending manner, speaking briefly to an elder of their family, wise to ways of construction -:- he alluding in passing as to how a clipping of said neighbor’s sine-wave might well put their hi-fi equipment on the fritz, none looking askance at so peculiar a particularity of paternal advice.

Merely curious as to how a silicone-controlled rectifier might be so-interjected.

00544.02 | 0917| 274 : evolutionary gambits , gamut of :

0084 19990917.0223’utc’usa’oregon’corvallis’ah@

frothing forth ‘pon utopian shores

Pulling AngelCar into a park of parallel resonance and affinity for Stanley Park in Vancouver.

Gate-keeper in little booth, slabs of oceanic blue behind him, verdant grass sown about, one blade a cloned limit approaching one over an infinitesimal imparting a feeling of being shortchanged via his foreign exchange rate entry-fee technique.

Of course unimportant other than the stupidity of his disrespect by which he entangles his potential for evolution. [:[74]:]

Not my problem unless I happen to be everything. Or merely everyone.

0460 19970917.0742’pdt’usa’oregon’corvallis’ahBriaRidgebit@

quip

Some vague memory of us being near a pump in the mountains and some little parts I’m reassembling. One piece is lost so I mention to another that, should they happen to see a little piece looking rather like a screw ...

They make the predictable comment regarding “losing a screw” rather than helping me look, yet I find it despite their impartial nature, in the lid of what might as well be thought of as some random jar - "right where I left it" as the expression has it - the reassembly thus going quite well. [:[75]:]

Expressing eternal love for the childhood sweetheart - who prefers being referred to as "wife number one" - of some life. And how utterly wonderful she is or was or shall-yet-be -:- she meanwhile preoccupied with moving almost into, and also almost out of, a doorway existing unto itself. The accompanying sensibility being that she is ever-traveling on her permanent vacation. Having all she needs to do most everything she wishes.

I’m surprised others are not flocking around her; she seems rather lonely.

Only many years later noticing how she had not been prone to reciprocate such sentiments; narcissistic demi-goddess dysfunction.

“You are taking a big risk,” notes my silly Guru.

Not necessarily apropos the lady, her non-door door presumably having not being part of - though perhaps a missing part of - said guru's home as, meanwhile, a man sounding like the Bell Labs logical prodigy known as Duels on Football Field With 45 Semiautomatics comes to the door and says his secret code.

Am I the only one noticing no one else has had to speak any secret code? So, rather than security, merely a means by which to distinguish him for scrutiny. Or hilarity. Unto what purpose I have no idea; for example the purpose of him having desired such a code (for) himself . quite plausible. Lover-of-codes and logic tables.

In such context thoughts resemble necessities of acquiescence re that older man - presumedly my guru - remains so playful an old fellow amid such pseudo-seriousness.

Knowing his awareness of my thoughts, I herd them into resemblances to obeisance resembling obedience. And honoring him. Plus a native rebelliousness flowing as if from beneath a low fear squished neath a high awareness of an essential fairness andor joyfulness of nature. His nature, I presuppose.

Meanwhile, as my nose is slightly congested, I encounter a primal sensibility - augmented by the irrational nature of the situation(s) - of being desirous of breathing.

My imbibing of a demi-breath seemingly going against the honoring of said teacher due to him speaking such cautionary words as I depart There, unto This version of experience; feeling mildly congested .

. minimally chagrined .

00569.02 | 0815 | 241 : along journeyways , pseudo-alien encounters :

0218 19980815.0514’pdt’usa’or’corvallis’ah@

slippage

In the Canyon to Nederland, a wide spot; five or so miles up from Boulder.

Equipment had been set up, demonstrating free-power transmission of images using a somewhat peculiar invention wherein, it was said, images had been temporally shifted by half an hour or so.

I was not particularly impressed, as it merely seemed that large TV show images from a parallel universe or - rather the same - from decades into some future or past.

Or perhaps the exact same moment of some previous andor future life.

Example:

I am walking down a dirt path after stepping into an area between pavement and bank of cliff, to avoid being in the path of an immense truck being driven up the canyon.

Thus descending some steps among one or two others, on the screen ‘i’ see a man making almost precisely the same motions as ‘i’ did upon doing so, yet who looks quite different, is dressed more formally, and has a crowd about him.

The inventor of such equipment is briefly seen; of quite alien seeming with his extra-manifold skin – four nostrils, for instance.

I cannot help but wonder whether, despite - perhaps partially due to - his genius, he feels lonely. Being so unique, yet in a manner that is, per average human preconceptions, so unattractive.

0351 19980815.0619’pdt’usa’or’corvallis’ah@

milk muffin departs lost ship Paradis

A ship whereupon most everyone mills about my thought most vague: p’r’aps ‘i’ will wait.

Resting upon a bench among moving throngs in pursuit of objets de désir du moment; she’ll certainly pass by and stop, and somehow we’ll meet. But, were my mouth to gape open while napping, undoubtedly I’d appear merely silly among moments containing so hypothetical an arrival.

Rather than napping, then, shall ‘i’ not chat with the young man -- the boy of archaic vision technologies concerning lasers, bar-codes, worn-out ink upon the edges of his glasses; ways to assist with seeing.

How can it be so immediately-apparent that he is from some Middle Eastern culture, raised in relative poverty? Yet here we are, talking. And ‘i’ think. And the thought is increasingly clear as we talk on. So, no, he’s not such-and-so but, rather, a cowboy.

Yes, it is all clear now, even the pistol at his side, among the folds of loose and childish clothing.

Argh, enough of that, think I, sufficiently animated to go, almost as though having intended to, into one of the ship’s many foyers. A brief and ill-lit hall with elevator plus communication device.

Pulling that phone from the wall of course induces it to become confused with a phone ‘i’ already have; perhaps yet another too.

Fumbling, pushing one of many available buttons, ah, the wrong phone. Yet strange sounds, plus a tone. Interspersed among a preponderance of silence. Surprise upon discerning a gentleman of clear and cultured tones.

Not to lose such an opportunity, ‘i’ inquire regarding her room number, vaguely recollecting a peculiar nickname, Milk da M’Uffin.

He replies that we must be off the ship in “fift-ee” minutes, adding a numerological equivalent to “8.” Or perhaps it was “88.”

Or was it “84?” Helpfully adding, “She left at six.”

Quite reasonably ‘i’ think - and am shocked - that she left so remarkably early, somehow implying in immediately-apparent manner that she had done so to make a connection of surreal sexuality.

Therefore inquiring, “Did you say ‘one-five?’ Or ‘five-zero’?”

“Fifteen. One-five. Everyone must disembark within fifteen minutes.”

00588.02 | 0720 | 215 : steep prices , voluminous photons , tall structures , die knowing more than :

0079 20030720.0635’pdt’usa’oregon’corvallis’ah@

vector , the

.
the finding of
the answer, being
the cross-product of
the scalar of our fear and
the scalar of
    transcendent magics unleashed now upon
the world, driving
    mighty waves across
the sea as we flee
the sights of those unnamed agents who would put an end to
the consequences of our understanding. Thus upon
the dunes of a tall steep hill we clamber hopelessly upward in
    predawn darkness. Yet to die now is to die knowing
the answer
.

0509 2001072008:46’pdt’usa’oregon’corvallis’ah@

and flux , implications of floww

Expanding the concept, as it were, of a handwritten car bill. A seemingly-impossible bill for "904103" or some such.

Yet it apparently was not the first to have occurred via some vehicle, for example a pickup truck, pulling into a hypothesized flat gravel driveway on a hypothesized uphill-side of our humble ranch-style home, not particularly far from a river, to leave said enigmatic bill upon what was alluded to as "a sweet little sign."

He took it into the house and, into so meager a kitchen as that, where his spouse explained how it was for the time she had figured out a problem nigh the distributor or some such, in so small and funky a vehicle as we - he and she - apparently owned in such a version of reality, not so very dissimilar from the more usual version.

And, thereafter, the shop she’d taken it to, having finished the job of tracing out the faulty wiring she’d already discovered, in the first instance taking 90 minutes, plus another hour atop that one as they followed the wire from beneath the hood back to near the tail-lights.

He strongly felt they ought obtain insurance to obviate this sort of trauma and outrageous bill in future. She, though not diverging from such an opinion, somehow seemed decidedly slow to engage in the necessary steps to have done so, as if having thereby briefly indicated some fundamental dynamic of their relationship.

In similar manner the river was subsequently ascertained without much thinking about it. Nonetheless thereby discovering, as a side effect, that it was nighttime and, upon having been considered in such a light, that it had been first lit by floodlights, later by daylight. Nothing special-seeming or otherwise out of the ordinary so regarding, other than it all happening with great rapidity. Plus the realization that the river had remained sinister in the night, even when lit by said floodlights, then by massive quantities of additional floodlights. Though perhaps somewhat less so.

Only by voluptuous daylight could it be observed transmogrifying into a charming watercourse. Colorful. Almost inviting.

Then, as though entirely reasonable, yet another sequelula, whereby she and he chance to find themselves in an immense old building, built up the side of a mountain; wherein various stairways lead upward through well-worn, almost ancient, wood construction.

Though not entirely clear to him as to which steps lead to where, nor which might be preferable to take, she has already made her decision -:- he thus espying her teeny form one tenth of 100 or so stories up, along a long narrow stairway, responding by lunging upward with a great yet, he feels, sustainable rapidity; a four-minute-mile species of marathon.

The first few steps he takes two at a time, quickly settling into a remarkably rapid one at a time, footsteps - and soon enough respiration - creating a strong and sustainable cadence.

Attaining the top he espies her just ahead, through a small group; a less stressful result than many other variations on the theme of abandonment.

00616.02 | 0902| 259 : over there , but what's going on :

0241 19980902.1122’pdt’usa’or’corvallis’ah@

loves her dad doh

Somewhat earlier - an offhand sort of scene - he’d run out of film, so I'd off-handedly given him a roll of my off-brand celluloid, having meanwhile become a bit concerned that we might slide off the roof of the truck during the manoeuver described; symbols in my mind.

It began by considering that I love her. Nor is it that she does not love me in return.

It’s more that, incresingly, her dedication is elsewhere.

Meanwhile one of my favorite parts is where we’re in their little orange van - for example a classic VW - and he zooms down a hill, to take what might be considered a shortcut back, that turns out to be a dead-end -- reasonably enough prior to reaching the return-street at the bottom of the hill.

As though finding an alternative route he nonetheless most adroitly backs up with no spinning of tyres, the two of us having all along been perched as ballast above the rear axle.

Thus, when all is said and done, I realize she prefers hanging out with her dad and drinking whiskey on the couch in the mall than she does spending time with me.

As though to amplify such lack of logic there arises a seeming: that the very thing that made her so very attractive was the mutuality of our love and, once she abandoned our comingled harmonies and mutualities of intensity, her attractiveness fell away.

0375 19980902.0619’pdt’usa’or’corvallis’ah@

how we got here

A tad sad. Grabbing some overclothing from the communal pile in the middle of the drab room, putting on outdoor garb for what is to be the last time.

Being told by our captor what he considers appropriate, which I attempt to ignore. A solemn feeling: my companion and I to be taken outside, away from the main group, into the woods, to of course killed. Yet, as we walk, along on either side of our captor I notice the cord around his neck, from which depends some article of identification. Or perhaps merely jewelry beneath his shirt.

To little avail do I attempt to get the attention of my friend regarding this strand of possible advantage – pointing and gesturing in what I presume is a subtle manner while noticing that our shadows stretch before us in the snow, and that my silhouette can be clearly seen gesticulating toward the shadow of our captor’s neck. Though I make a few more sophisticated hand motions originating in Balinese dance, none seems to be of any worth, for my friend has apparently already given up the ghost. Thus, realizing my time is quite literally up, I swiftly act, grabbing the cord and twisting it awkwardly, and not particularly quickly, into a vague semblance of a garrote as, meanwhile, my companion - true to his strange lack of interest in living - walks to the captor’s right, doing virtually nothing to help as I awkwardly fold the cord and hold its bite into the tender flesh of the fellow’s neck.

Quite heroic, one might suppose yet, as it turns out, he somehow knew that our captor had already decided to let us go free - or is at least behaving as though that had been his intent all along - which he proceeds to do; changing our papers for the long trek across what must be Siberia.

He may even have been giving us access to a large vehicle; who is to do the research to find out?

Although elated at our new lease on life I nonetheless remain sufficiently skeptical so as to keep the garrote tight enough as to act as a just-in-case leash or tool of execution, should our new lease on life prove elusive.

00631.02 | 0913| 270 : human and otherwise too , crews and clusters both :

0109 19800913.????'???'_'@

high-intensity lineage's end , at

A crew of us in hostel tall -- having worked on electric lines of great height and high intensity -- partaking of our needful rest; when what should occur but a meeting of harmonies for that as might be the last time they met.

Interject here "Mother(-energy) of harmony."

Topical fishy events: four fish(es) in a tank in the congregational restaurant-environment most proximal.

One of our crew chubby extreme. Was it him with the fish?

Whoever it was, perhaps he's in the movies. At least one of those having had them for sale at exorbitant cost.

. one such being the only ; the last of its kind .

0522 19970913.0843.BriaRidge’Sat’usa’oregon’corvallis’ah@

nunabee variations

Not so very far from civilization, on a natural ridge, free of distinct roads or paths, with a Rocky Mountain vista but a Camino del Cañon feel.

Descending slightly from there, a vale or micro valley where our house might be built; or perhaps an older structure, which might be remodeled. [:[76]:]

J is inside despite there being no structure , nor even an inside , and I am out near large warm rocks embedded in the earth, trees and grasses all about.

Having no idea where it came from, nor why I would do such a peculiar thing, I experimentally pour a bit of light cooking oil, canola, into a shallow puddle formed into the mesa atop one of the rocks, watching as the water becomes slightly displaced as expected, my observational preconceptions turning to amazement as I notice the water act in a totally oilophobic manner, thereby completely evacuating the area in which it had been puddled to flow to ground.

Thus only a sturdy film of oil remains on the depressed area of the stone from whence the water has seemingly self-evacuated.

Some other oil is also about and a small rabbit -- quite reminescent of the small wild rabbits we used to toss carrots to when living in the Rocky Mountains, rabbits I referred to as "Nunnabees" upon discovering them utilizing the brambles nigh our propane tank as their home territory -- runs away, though not quite so fast as three rabbit-children, incredibly small, running away just ahead of it.

We observe one another after it stops and it - or some other very small rabbit - runs into a bit of black plastic, perhaps the crumpled, wet and dirty twist of an ex-garbage bag.

I feel that I have inadvertently herded it into potential plight and, suddenly concerned that it may be trapped and or suffocating, move the plastic a bit, making sure it has wiggle room.

Though correlation is not necessarily causation that seemingly give rise to a quixotic variation, wherein I find myself in a small building built in the parking lot in Nederland, Colorado - the parking lot then serving B&F, the hardware store, and so forth - talking with some other(s) about a zen floor plan for a structure.

A town marshal is seen lounging nearby, with a crudely-designed patch sewn on his shirt to show it’s so; that he is indeed what he seems, though he would clearly be more at home in the wild west, with his low-slung tied-down six shooter and cowboy hat. Others in the building seem fearful of him, yet I find myself speaking in surprisingly disparaging manner regarding having done nothing wrong and having nothing to fear.

Despite the unlikelihood, it transpires that we end up talking together, I learning he is working on some writing resembling a novel, having apparently taken the Marshall job so as to sustain himself while doing what he would prefer to make his vocation.

Though this seems redeeming information, I nonetheless have not the best sensibility about his nature, yet realize it to be a "so what?" sort of situation.

00661.02 | 1019| 306 : about , trucking :

0200 19981019J00 @

(de)limitation explorations

Someone had gone to great lengths to enter its vast interior by clambering about its hulk, procuring a key, and so forth, but actually it was not locked.

Once inside I was surprised that there was so little of its volume taken up; I could have sworn that someone - perhaps me - had far more possessions than that.

He seemed quite a bit larger than me but, by standing back-to-back and bending forward, I was able to lift him to the point where he could continue the minimal momentum which I had imparted and land on his feet, thereby executing the sketch of what I presumed to have been an assisted aerial back walkover.

There were only a few moments of uncertainty as he waited up there, and I had to talk him through the procedure from my somewhat cramped posture; it was during these moments that I sensed the edges of possibilities-other-than-success impinging upon my expanding moment of success-most-incipient.

He seemed to have had some variety of African lineage in his genes, but whether the semi truck belonged to him, to me, or to neither, unclear in memory.

Whoever owned it, inside things were neat, orderly, and well-lit.

0461 19971019.0828’pdt’usa’oregon’corvallis’.BRidge’Sun@

ordained acausal acts

The Mathematician and Painter of Houses and I are traveling rather in a same direction for a nonce or two. Not surprisingly, we’ve been reduced to taking a scheduled transportation.

His passing comment leads me to realize our chances of making quick connections are slight indeed ... thus a day delay merely because we will arrive but a few minutes behind the scheduled daily departure of our connection.

The peculiarity regarding such a momentum is that, for such-and-such a leg of our journey, our passage will be via the cab of the tractor of a large truck. P’r’aps a big truck taking the occasional passenger to make a few extra bucks.

Meanwhile, Krippa’s Father’s truck remains downtown; precisely where he’d left it, so long as you discount any spiraling motions of earth-moon about sun about galaxy about local galactic cluster about et cetera. Such a variety of itness - to whit his truck - having electromechanical difficulties of causally recurring similarity, remaining thus in precisely such a parking space as it had a day or two earlier. And presumably meanwhile, too.

Meanwhile, back at the place where the body is temporarily plugged into another dimension, the venerable sleeping bag, Big Yellow, remains in the park, nigh the surrounds of a hefty picnic table, where it had been put down a day or two earlier. It remains mysteriously unaffected by mist and drizzly weather.

I’d presumed that someone would covet it, yet it was apparent no one had, so I gathered it once again beneath my arm with an attitude such as “Well, at least I can use it to cover me on the trip.”

From another vantage, however, there would not be much need for it for, as I gazed upward from the trip itself, it was easily discernable to realize how rich the area was, blessed with a thriving ecosystem inhabited by various small bands of motile beings amid a micro ecology from the ground up. Flights of little beings flitting about their seemingly ordained sets of activities. Damp beauty in its vales surrounded and surmounted by robust mountains as my emotional path crosses briefly that of the infamous dark-complexioned lady travelling among her small band of folk as described.

Saying good-bye as she leaves with the others, I place the minimal kiss upon one cheek, despite it being clear she would prefer a slight hug and a peck upon both cheeks.

Yet it is a situation of sufficiently negotiational , albeit nonverbal, uncertainty as to transpire via the most evanescent of moments.

Thus merely a kiss of some somewhat surprising passion on her right cheek, a touch of our foreheads touch; a good-bye.

Leaving with her, a few others, in what is supposed to be their old pickup truck.

00680.02 | 0717 | 212 : conveying elder peculiarities , particularities of :

0327 20010717.0708’pdt’usa’oregon’corvallis’ah@

bookish acquisition

In a large group ; a class meeting outside. As we enter the open area and mill about, we view a hill sweeping upward to our right, upon it buildings nigh we , the throng.

Those who are near enough gather their books from the stacks beneath the portable tables between us , and sturdy scholastic structures built from hard earthy blocks of regular dimensionality. Thick books. Tomes. ‘i’ am among, but not one of, the tome-gatherers.

We sit in pseudo-random fashion , observing and listening to the speaker who has just recently arisen as if magically from the throng.

The discomfort is mild ; being too old to be in such a class. Not the discomfort of feeling too old but, rather, of having one or two others behave toward me as though ‘i’ am.

For example, an almost dapper fellow, slightly older than the norm, sits to my right in one of the portable chairs, listening to the speaker explain the broad sweep of a time-line through early colonies and subsequent post-colonies. We can observe the time-line with a certain animation – a broad and almost mosaic-appearing sweep across the walls of the buildings just up the hill, moving from right to left in a curve; not particularly digital yet not entirely analog. It moves through scenes and phrases from that particular past, demonstrating the sweep of events. The introduction is soon enough, over and the dapper fellow is remarking how he won’t be taking the class. As he shoves his book back into the stack ‘i’ am reminded that ‘i’ also probably know all this – perhaps the instructor has looked meaningfully in my direction while commenting upon the likelihood that some people are here for the purposes of refreshing their memories as to the details of the topics of these previously-taken subjects.

Nonetheless, as everyone prepares to leave, ‘i’ glom onto one of the fascinating tomes, regular and heavy, chock-full of factoids and careful analyses.

0353 20050717.0811’pdt’usa’oregon’corvallis’ah@

globular warning

“and, you see, her skirt would jigsay up her leg, like this,” he said, moving it about a bit. That is to say, her lovely skirt or dress; mostly he was pointing out the peculiarities of what was taken to be her situation up on the mechanism of the platform against the wall, all subsequent to the compliments of the lady who put $500 on the credit card on behalf of the gentleman; putting fuel into the large truck's receptacle. whereby he might also, as a sort of premium or by way of special offer, gain a full set of tires all around. two sub-plots amid a whole collection of sub-plots that included, for example, being flushed out of an underwater cave; as if a room that had inadvertently become a cave due to an influx. a sub-sea deluge.

or resembling, via a similarity of high formality, being towed at phenomenal velocity behind one of two futuristic high-speed water-craft , said two improbably- yet diagonally-attached by a minimal length of sturdy cordage

racing along waterways that had not exited moments earlier; barely holding on . seeming merely something to do with global warming

passing also through air in a mightily curvilinear wicker basket chair ; more fascinating than fantastical , due to several peculiarities
:
on
either side of
so great a seat
resembling a bottom quarter to
a great woven-wicker teardrop
with two heavy-duty rattan hoops
the left linkage of those two being entirely missing in essence
surmising thus the weight of contraption entirety
borne by only
the rightmost hoop
its diameter less than an outspread human hand
though of course there must be something else holding it
there in midair , in turn dependant upon the notion of
a thing known as “mid” air
being only one seat of many such
gently cavorting
mildly lurching through
the mid air high above so canyonate a land
as thus may be presumed many others
traveling via similar methodologies
not so much compellingly terrifying as
a place of great interest and , of certaitude [sic]
a fair dollop of , as mentioned ,
peculiarity
.

00718.02 | 1024| 311 : tendencies , risky :

0222 19971024.1156’pdt’Fri’usa’oregon’corvallis’BRidge@

as if beloved via mix and match [:[77]:]

I perceived there to be two Js in nighties standing in front of me as I faced into the kitchen space, and laughingly said “Now I can find out which of you is real,” trying to sweep a hand through each of them in turn. My hand touched each, and the one on my right, near the sink, seemed surprised and curious and reached out and touched the other, near the stove, who then laughed and either transmogrified or contrived to appear somewhat different than the first, for example shortening by a couple of inches; whereupon I suddenly realized who she was.

J reached over and touched the that other who, still laughingly, said “Now you’ve met the real Tim McVeigh,” speaking of course of herself. [:[78]:]

I grasped each in an arm and gently hugged them close, squatting down until one was sitting upon each of my knees, facing me. d’Mileau snuggled in and for a moment it literally felt as though J might vanish away; but she stayed.
I came out of that reality and then at least partially back to this, enough to say “Clarity!” in my mind. I got some image of a muzzle, perhaps a cat, and then a little monkey...
The experience quite pleasant, startling, yet not entirely comprehensible...

But what ever is? [:[79]:]

0496 19971024.0747’pdt’Fri’usa’oregon’corvallis’BRidge@

undervalued diminishing echo of an almost ghastly potential

First a part of the action, then a distant observer.

It was believed that a man with a gun was running amok; a major threat on the paved road running up the hill from Muir Woods. I standing at the four-way intersection at the road's highest point, unable to travel down to where I preferred to be.

Quite a few men are at the roadblock, and a goodly number of vehicles. I think I might be of assistance; various weapons are in my vehicle, parked nearby.

Yet the floor of the old vehicle -- perhaps one of my old Jeeps or, more likely, a car from the 30’s, though perhaps an old steamer trunk, is submerged beneath water. And, as though thinking that, should a movie have been made so-regarding, it would merely have seemed a filmie regarding a dream -:- and thus unsurprising that someone, likely the local authorities, have taken my rifles and perhaps my pistols too. For their own use.

I thus wonder, as a peculiar old .38 is handed to me by Mr BoulderInFun(d)iTrust or similar, whether any such invention might prove workable in the slightest.

My plan is to nonetheless walk down into the valley via the old cross-country route as when the road washed out and all the trees on the ridge blew down and I had to walk through the incredible beauty of the intense weather – walk home from where the school bus dropped me off at the Crossroads. And that, from that vantage, I might see the dangerous man and perhaps draw a bead on him; innocent until proven otherwise apparently irrelevant.

As he hands me the old gun I feel little hope that my plan will work without a rifle, by then having learned that the miscreant worked in a restaurant or gift shop in or near Muir Woods proper; having only recently flipped out.

As though later, I approach a high building in San Francisco with a woman resembling d’Mileau, or perhaps J; or some blend thereof per aforementioned tendencies to emulate one another via what I presume to be some Overselfian nodality.

My old car or Jeep is parked in the parking lot and I stop for a moment to do andor find something therein – yet am unable to do so, instead merely becoming somewhat left behind as she goes on in.

Walking away from the vehicle, I notice the gas cap is missing on the passenger-side.

In a hotel the lines are very long for those wishing to go up the elevator. We shift lines and, as she is somewhat ahead of me, I remain uncertain whether I can catch up to her, an uncertainty that blends with an awareness of having not told her of the drama across the bay, and how I’d almost participated in it. Simultaneously feeling vaguely virtuous in having said nothing about - and inappropriately undervalued for what is not known about - what I might almost have done.

00724.02 | 0719 | 214 : philosophies of tantric bubble-gazing , quest for familiality amid :

0165 19990719.0809’pdt’usa’oregon’corvallis’ah@

froth abundance , monsieur noch les's

Wandering among beauties; a resort town resembling this loneliness of abundance.

Someone wishes to prove something via allegorical correspondence. ‘i’ finding his analogy faulty, yet preferring not to deflect his state of consciousness. For it to him has significance and import; quite possibly some variety of beauty.

The wind has arisen along some tropical shore, it increasingly reasonable to push through the invisible force to utilize a hot tub for refreshment and a sensibility of cleanliness, yet the only available hot tub is that singularity beneath waving fronds; a similitude resembling a foamy eloquence containing some small cluster.

Ought one join or forego? For such presumptions of cleanliness have perhaps created a relativistic state of comparison. Of Maya.

Is said cluster in favor of such joinery? Ambivalent?

As so communal a grouping does its unknown wont within so artificial a tide pool, the wind-heaped froth rather glows; each previously hot bubble characterizing per its place in the scheme of things.

Well-rounded reflections upon twilit skies.

0559 20010719.1517’pdt’usa’oregon’corvallis’ah@

non-chivalrous abandonments , direct lineage of demonstrably

As though coincidentally, in a version of what seemed a close approximation to be Mill Valley, chanced ‘i’ upon some folk in their pleasant little flat. Apparently the same folk who, in this parallel reality we oft foolishly think of as the one-and-only reality, own-and-operate the Café at the End of the Universe. proprietress and proprietor just across from what once approximated the eastern end of the university.

A resemblance to a hippy festival had descended upon the town, ‘i’ surprised to mysteriously learn that s, later known as the square root of minus one = j , her first initial , was wandering about amid most all of it.

Though the chances of finding her seemed desperately slim, nor were we necessarily in a relationship, ‘i’ nonetheless prepared for the search.

Mrs. and Mr. Proprietress had meanwhile - apparently in those few moments - modified the nature of things by renting a large yellow school bus, albeit only for the duration of the festival, said bus placed in pleasantly manner among what seemed to me to be other recumbent traffic, parked as though snoozing along peripheries of the sorts of various pleasant streets as make the lowlands of so domestacious a town into an erstwhile grid, per Cartesian sensibilities of rational mindsets then in vogue.

Meanwhile, back in the meantime, the proprietress had transformed into the cuter, more tenderly-dispositioned, and purportedly highly-delectable Italian lady who was the girlfriend of he who lived in the same high-octane ghetto as ‘i’ and several other interesting folk, and who also drove taxi and, due to often conveying a high potentate of the San Francisco Stock Exchange from his gated Belvedere home to San Francisco, eventually became a stockbroker, she and he breaking up along the way, and she and ‘i’ eventually becoming good enough friends that she apparently decided ‘i’ needed comforting within a scene some decades in her future, thus snuggling up to me a couple of times, so as to bestow via her charming physique and not-entirely subtle emanations a sense of being: a state somewhere between maternal love and tender sexual heat, the second time doing so touching me briefly with her tongue. Her back meanwhile toward her later-day husband who seemed relatively indifferent - even mildly encouraging - of such increasingly salacious shenanigans.

The intense peculiarity of the situation proved sufficient to knock me into a more mild-mannered yet similarly-themed alternate wherein ‘i’ chanced upon some clothing i’d inexplicably left the last time ‘i’ was in the vignette. Hiking shorts complete with pocket paraphernalia, well suited to the heat of the day, a cleverly-contrived scene that had me lying on my back while in the process of removing my long pants so as to make way for drawing on the reclaimed shorts, while so-positioned noticing a partially-obscured lady peering from her upstairs window, though not quite at me, through an intervening courtyard and tastefully-placed window.

Whether it was she, the Italian lady, or j who then transformed into the 18-year-old blonde tootsie-player girl who Mrs and Mr Proprietress wanted to set me up with, apparently forever-unknown.

But, to my embarrassment, ‘i’ clearly had quite forgotten my quest to find s - later known as j - for our sofa-chairs were close; our feet ever-more disrobed.

Unless, of course, she was indeed the alternative j in question.

00733.02 | 1021| 308 : other hobbies , kamma , karma , and :

0299 19981021q24_AH,Wed,@

comatose or similar sweetener

Being incredibly tired, stuporously sleepy, drugged by some aspect of my physiology run amok, or merely under the sway of some higher- or other-dimensional force.

J has hired someone, perhaps the lunar philosopher friend -[:[80]:]- . to come over and work on our place - rather resembling This place - and I know he will soon arrive in his large white truck. Yet I remain unable to get up and go wherever it is I am supposed to be; too comatose to get out of the upstairs bed and go elsewhere. Too comatose to even move to the downstairs bed.

The down-the-hill neighbors have meanwhile swerved in across the curb, from the street above our home, and driven along the edge of our property, leaving their tracks in the grass that is wild There - tame Here - and, though too sleepy to deal with it, I am not too sleepy to later wonder how they managed to park above their house and then depart from below it. Did they drive down the stairway which, in our house, would involve making an impossible 90° turn?

Once I recollect that their stairway differs from ours by proceeding in a stepwise-linear fashion, I realize the reasonableness of them having done so; still not awake enough to recollect that driving a vehicle through one's house is not a generally-acceptable behaviour.

Such a state of consciousness gives rise to a concern that I shall be observable no matter from the direction from which the gentleman arrives, and therefore must leave. Or, at a minimum, fall off the bed and lie on the floor.

Still too “zoned,” however, to do any such thing.

All quite similar to the way I felt, clearly entirely awake, while writing it all down.

0634 20001021.0930’pdt’usa’oregon’corvallis’ah@

browse the wind

In a place of big waves I live off the coast, in one of many houses slightly removed from usually dry continental lands, out upon a similitude to pylons of deeper waters.

Waves are rather rambunctious, and I want MartialArtistAccupuncTourist to observe them since he’s such a wavemeister.

Eventually he does so take note, telling me of a time when there was a mighty storm offshore. So mighty that it derailed trains yet, since he didn’t yet know about all that, he just thought the waves were higher than usual, only later discovering how precarious his situation had been.

Though such information was not particularly reassuring, I was distracted from greater concerns by observing that the waves happened to be especially large due to an amplification effect induced by reflecting off the coast; coming at the house from the direction of the shore.

In retrospect not seeming so very large until I dwelled upon the might of their troughs and crests.

Then, in the fairly typical manner of having encountered an embedded goto or jump function, something of a lateral shift shoreward, still in the vicinity of such a place, running as though for fun. That slowly transmuting into the attempt to attain a certain goal. Which is to say racing.

Racing along feeling a narrowing of consciousness as I focus upon being a remarkably competent runner, accompanied by a sense of overtaking all competitors from my far-following place in the throng of those of similar disposition.

In so focusing, feeling there must be a peculiar expression upon my face, similar to that upon that of one of the Gracie brothers when I saw him win his competition on new year’s eve high in the Rockies, on pay-per-view in the multi-millionaire-friends' four-storey log cabin several Christmas vacations ago.

Running through increasingly urban terrain, through passageways and over surface irregularities typical of such pleasant little neighborhoods. Quite possibly tripping over something, leading quite directly to

A high hill as if in proximity to what my family always referred to as The Crossroads or, as I later learned it had come to be called, Four Corners, at the crest of the ridge between Mill Valley and Muir Woods. Yet it might as easily been described as a place on some Hawaiian island near the wavemeister's place, as if a few California hills had been sent to the middle of the Pacific, and had their amplitudes tripled.

As if having integrated the various situations, acquiring, manifesting, or otherwise contriving a minimal gizmo resembling an inflatable “mattress,” looking similar to the finned rear-ends of two Cadillacs of the late 1960s , joined in such a manner as to create a four-finned air raft which I show off to the few others present by holding it pressed against the top of my head as a sort of gigantic hat held above and upon my head by my forearms clamping it downward. Configured in such manner do I tentatively approach the steep drop-off to the grassy valley far below, step off, and take a short flight followed by a second, during which I remind myself to “Go down! Go down!” to rapidly descend beneath first one , then two , sets of high-power lines, strung as is their tendency between tall metal towers .

As I had, some time earlier, realized I amidst a "lucid flying dream," I rather enjoyed the experience as play until a goal-orientated variety of consciousness kicked in, along with the realization of a certain compulsion, particularly upon noticing a large hill ahead, mighty wreath filled with symmetric flame rising behind it.

Somehow necessitated to go there via a sense of purposefulness arisen out of a playfulness quite similar to what had happened - when the joy of running had become competitive - not long before.

00736.02 | 0810 | 236 : deluge and curative wave , newfangled upright deviceries of :

0294 19980810.0920’pdt’usa’oregon’corvallis’ahMon @

two parts plus topping . or two

Let us presume a character -- Mike Anic, of Mike’s Automotive -- in two sequences: in one he has the AngelMobile outdoors in a place similar to, uh, rural Southern Colorado.

He has draped a tarp over one of two mirrorwise-symmetrical streamlined pearlescent fenders, “checking the color match.”

Percipient is concerned due to the very thick paint glopped and dripping down the fender but, as he removes the first layer of tarp, said “glop” appears rather more resemble wrinkles in the next tarp down, verified as he removes the second tarp, the paint appearing quite normal.

The second sequence seems not dissimilar, though a discriminating reader might conclude otherwise: Mike is proud of the Dvorak keyboard he has recently ordered and obtained, for he is just getting into computers and has a strong pride regarding certain related desire-objects and ritualistic artifacts, plus his nascent skill set so-regarding.

Various folk have meanwhile shown up on apparati rather resembling bicycles - particularly after Mike has gone inside - and it so happens that they need to interconnect with the Internet. And, though the outside link doesn’t work, they are swift enough to realize they can continue on up to the house where the antenna is, and get on with getting on there.

Sprinkled over all this are multiple tow-trucks. Apparently due to a biblical narrative arc regarding flood, ark, and other well-humbled explanations passing laterally across forgotten
paradigms, ringing analogies, assumptions re this reality and relevant rules
of peerless, exemplary, infamous, and of course myriad religions of the One and Only Truth.

After all, why would the adherent of any belief systems believe anything other than it being the simple fact of the matter that only they are the knowers, keepers, and purveyors of such.

Truth.

0442 19990810.0428’uct’usa’oregon’corvallis’2^ndBean %

annoyances of a more trivial

Meanwhile We, having been a more confident couple, purchased some property that might have been thought of, for example, as Our Current Property in Another Reality – or perhaps merely a hybrid reality. In such a place where Mind has instantiated more of what is land, and less of what is a quality of property. To whit a funky fixer-upper, as the slang of the day might say.

In just such a place, should one have happened to stand in a diffuse state in and/or near one of the outbuildings, neighbors might be delineated via labels such as "wife of the treasurer of the homeowners’ association plus her husband." Just such a similitude pull into our garage and stroll on up across our property to thereby reach theirs.

Although quite trivial, this bothers me a tad and, later, upon asking J about it, she mentions that the wife said it was done "‘cause she felt like it;" this also seems somewhat irritating. Something seemingly to do with respecting boundaries and the proprieties of presumptions regarding a civilization constructed on legal constructs regarding properties.

At this juncture it shall have transpired that "the hip neighbor kid" of the pseudo-evil horse-barn clan - a son-by-a-previous-marriage sort of fellow," pulls up in his sport utility vehicle in a state of some damage -- a minor neck wound showing off as a minor slice cleverly continuing around unto his teeth; just the sort of circumstance in which one is not entirely certain whether there is an obligation to call a hospital or not.

As though to remove all such ambiguity, he retrieves a phone book from the little office attached to his room – the sort of office that manages to insert itself into the most current version of reality, despite having not occurred at any time during the current year.

Thus is birthed a mild absurdity having to do with a hospital number that has, apparently inappropriately, not changed one whit, leading to one apprehending local expertise so as to call the telephonic operator, who makes puns and jokes in a manner that also manages to be annoying.

This sequence of events, as would be obvious to even a semi-rational observer, is enough to inspire the young man to enter the cetacean-adequate pool wherein the peculiarly blocky orca has shown up to accept him upon the eve of his challenge.

Thus transpires a peculiarity of states wherein the orca surges a counter-clockwise wave into motion while the friends of the young man urge him to jump in.

In such way as to time the possibility of his survival upon the crest of a recurringly-passing more optimal state.

00764.02 | 0805 | 231 : passage nigh borders , singular flight ride and :

0304 19990805.0917’pdt’usa’oregon’corvallis’ah@

electronic chirp

Due to some sort of longstanding agreement, a tradition among birds; wherein bird the first maps itself onto a little chip and then is carried by bird the second some lengthy distance.

Except, in this case, there is a slight difference in that it is the little rock dove who makes the agreement – with me standing in as “bird the second” – and thus its little dance and then onto and into the chip it goes, ‘i’ placing it beneath my left collar-wing.

Quickly thence through the open sliding-glass door, and unto the unempty skies, arms out for stability.

As you well may know, it is a most fascinating thing, such a birds-eye view, purporting to sail above neighborhoods such as this one, though sordid and cluttered so oft they are. The once-again entropic detritus of what we humans think of as civilization.

Thus it begins, yet transpires that we fly not particularly far. A mere swoop upward plus a tad onward unto distant mountains. For, as is too often so, there is a considerable trepidation concerning flying too very far, and thus becoming lost. Thence, all too soon later we alight, the 'me' and 'my' diminutive passenger list; an empty field just short of the ever-annoying high-tension wires, web-strands craftily blurred across the thus-threatened sky.

One might suppose that, not being entirely sure as to what ‘i’ am doing, ‘i’ place the little chip just there, to 'me' seeming a nice enough place to emerge, though not the trans-continental flight the little being might well have been expecting.

In return to annamayakosha consciousness, ‘i’ wonder just who has been giving a ride to whom.

Chirps and a chip
upon my shoulder
; involved in rules
far beyond fare skyways
here – so lovely a place
we might build
, should desire find its
striving toil.

0460 19990805.0548’pdt’usa’oregon’corvallis’ah@

¿ so this has to do with ‘nother reincarnation or whut

The likelihoods somewhat difficult to compute or, for that manner, impute. Yet it is easily possible to imagine that, at the border, doing one's best to make it to the meeting with the lady in question – the lady even now driving south to cross the border, for example the Canadian border, temporarily re-entering as is often the case for the momentarily expatriated.

Said woman, perchance the editor of a journal of food, yoga, monk seals, musings regarding the peace corp, peru, life of a bubble-blowing ranger, or wife of the woodworker's journal –- driving a vehicle which, via apparencies of moments of so aforementioned a border realm, observed quite similar in bodily attribution to most any older sport utility vehicle.

Thus she keeping her part of the arrangement - re-entering the country to the most minimal degree possible - and ‘i’ in the midst of a certain set of difficulties in attempting to uphold having agreed to meet at the border as promised.

One might similarly presume an individual - apparently an agent of such borderlands - to be quite helpful, and that it is in part due to his devices that ‘i’ am able to know her whereabouts while beginning to realize ‘i’ have perhaps underestimated the challenges of so spatiotemporal a meeting , as though such challenges might well overcome me.

I thus ask for his card to his apparent bemusement, producing instead a little magic twist double-card, a folded-over thing that indeed might be considered as a most highly-evolved business card containing a most unusual spreadsheet resembling a small grid of various folk along with various ways by which they might be reached or not reached, ‘i’ finding it difficult to think of it other than as a personal list jotted down for his own specific uses – and that he had thus given me his very last card.

I nonetheless thanked him and took off for the actual border crossing, rather peculiarly thinking it would take several days to get there.

Yet, running in such manner, one can become rapidly aware of certainties regarding the Seven-League-Boots Side-Effects, such as the border traffic moving first below and to one side then, from a lower vantage, ahead past berms and buildings leading to where she has pulled into a lot and awaits, as the one ‘i’ inexplicably have come to temporarily consider ‘i’ am makes heroic headway in the very direction allowing a certain increasing likelihood that what many tend to think of as chance will bring us together , she thus making her way toward the oddly-named Food Convention which was apparently the point of her - now our - visit. having both journeyed unto the USA yet again.

She from the north, ‘i’ from some presumedly-parallel reality.

00772.02 | 0807 | 233 : theory , catastrophy :

0283 19980807.0904’pdt’usa’oregon’corvallis’Angels’Home’Fri@

notched and

In an Asiatic environment such as that one may most easily step into such a busy shop as this, noticing that knowing how best to approach a man in a stripped shirt of “more managerial” import, one might as well climb such brief steps to notice oneself hardly any taller than he.

Thus he guides one a way upon such a quest as most any upon which one has chanced to embark toward the ineffable or whatever in such a manner, in a time and place thought of as "this," all-the-while perceived as, for example, Christian -- that being how he describes himself when queried as to whether a practitioner of any particular religion.

Along with that an implication that such a belief has some nice qualities, yet also has a certain weakness that lending itself to having become insufficient as a properly functioning religion; in such case noticing his eyes tend to slide away to the side for a moment or two.

During such conversation it is likely noticed that our physical point(s)-of-presence move out through the back door unto what is thereby taken to be “the back,” to subsequently visit a place of great industrial activity. Big buildings clad in metals.

Thence across an expanse of yard to approach a most worthy block of rectilinearity, tall and lengthy.

Awareness of his difficulty in so-clambering induces an impulse. Thus has one gone ahead and reached back to briefly interlink arms, pulling him upward.

As if aware of our presence, the motile building lurches forward, downward unto the bowels of one massive facility. Seemingly only one of many.

This one most likely specialized unto fashioning wooden objects from the bodies of murdered trees.

0489 ????????.??? [...]

lowered into upper

.
one
    might recollect partaking of parking
an Old Brown Jeep upon
    high and remarkably narrow ledge
,   declaratively stating j
    ought exit with utmost rapidity
to clamber thence upward from
so very thin an embankment
a   smidge of convincing
    this
,   yet
so she
does
.
so
      driving
      through the Bay Area in
an    Old Blue Chevy Nova Station Wagon
an    awful lot(, of) street rubble piled
as to virtually impossibly avoid
so    many ; inevitably
thus driving over several sturdy piles
      flattening a tire perchance or two
yet   escape a possibility from
      areas where debris rains down so very hard
the   windshield too develops
      points and cracks of
      failures large and small
      compelling vacating
so    ancient a station wagon
,     joining thus throngs upon streets
,     more accurately termed
rioters
.
making
      thus a way northward beyond
such riot zones
-     buses with which
      we’ve managed to abscond
–     hearing instantaneities of drivers
,     actual , extemporaneous
,     radioing one other
      information regarding best possible
routes
.
standing
a     moment to
thus ascertain where we
might be . seeing only
the   upper parts of two
      distinctive orange towers of
the   bridge above
the   horizon of
the   lower part of
the
windshield
.
eventually
      meeting most briefly
the   daughter of
an    east coast italian mob electronics specialist
in    pleasant encounter , lovely hugs all about
some few jokes ; this old friend
and   that regarding as to their ,
her , married state;
her
husband
.
their
lovable
couple of
kids
.
apocalypses
too   have thus attendant
      peculiarities of
humor ; the particular
      catastrophe in question
      to its dollop thereof
; an intense thing of
      crowds rushing out ; many of
such people so pale as to present as
monochromatic
.
some
       few others , Pantones
       overflowing in colors most vivid
;      scattered they among
the    hundreds , perchance thousands
of     Monochromes as though
       randomly . occasionally clustered
as     though drawn together by
an     affinity they can sense
and    which ‘i’ can see most clearly
yet    what such tendency to aggregate implies
      merely a matter of speculation ,
       though ‘i’ know
they   are
the    ones intended to live , to
       endure to bring forth next
generations
.
having
,   all said
,   made a way up
a   stairway , perceiving
the very fellow having apparently created
so strange a creature having
    apparently wreaked
so vast a devastation pulled
now down
its part robotic
,   part biological
    semblance of a
    self through
    manhole
aperture
.
yet
it   proves not
so   very difficult
to   avoid entanglement with
the masses streaming from
said buildings thus having
     fashioned one's way
     onward as though through
so   great a concourse round about
     graveyards scattered too prettily
in   manners spangled o’er
     great varieties
of
hills
,
easily
     described as
a    high road about
so   slightly-protected
a
bay
.
as
   though to have
   proven
no matter how
so-arrived at ,
it suffices merely
in having
prevailed
.

00792.02 | 0919| 276 : frequencies of weather , animistic abodes of tunable :

0127 199809190i12_AH@

electronic totem-pole scans night, auto noses into forest to alter course

Hawaiian Martial-artist Acupuncturist Surfer was about to go off on some business venture disguised as a traveler’s adventure.

Among other possessions to be taken along was an outsize totem-pole that was soon perceived as being a rack of electronic equipment, one piece of which he tuned – if I remembered correctly – to 10 KHz or so. That somehow allowing him to scan passing weather in the dark sky.

I had the feeling it was “family money” which was enabling him to do these things -- nothing to do with me.

Perhaps he would be leaving early in the morning, and thus it would perhaps be polite to turn about the car in play, to place its nose among the trees, as if for a few hours of meditation.

0665 19970919.0840’pdt’usa’oregon’corvallis’BriaRidge’Friday@

desperation bodes heavens’ abodes

Browsing through Norwegian Construction, or perhaps Scandinavian Home Improvement , a well-produced and somewhat glossy magazine, like my dearly-departed brother's golden lab’s seeing-eye-dog hair and, surprisingly, written in English. Or being translated into English as i first browse, then read in considerable detail, how “things” - or were they "þinges" ? - are constructed and assembled.

One or two other humans are there, besides me, during my visit to what meanwhile evolved as though from the wood pulp of its pages into a chicken coop, then a composite cabin of foam, concrete, and a presumption of rebar.

As though still abiding by the notion of peering at a glossy image of such things, or someone thereabout, who has been accused of whatever such folk get accused of, and has therefore fled. while those of us looking at his photo and discussing him generally feel he has been falsely accused, not to mention a’cussed and a’cursed.

Whatever the actuality, some also consider him quite handsome despite thinning hair where a beanie might jauntily perch, along with the sensibility that a man of such character - or lack of character - belongs in a motorcycle club of ambiguous repute; Hell’s Angels coming to mind.

In such manner is cast a character-shadow upon whoever he might actually be; the likelihood of an outstanding warrant for his arrest only deepening such a shade's more obscure regions.

Similarly, an imprecise construction of similarly composite nature - the aforementioned cabin - finds itself designated as being well-built despite an occasional flaw, such as the likelihood of a latrine rather than a proper bathroom.

Meanwhile, unlike aereal horses waiting to gallop away, a group of micro-Trollocs have apparently attacked, we soon enough managing to soothe their porcine spirits with sufficient success that their attack transforms into an après-non-coup.

Yet, as though in the spirit of avoiding the increasingly unpleasant odours and byproducts of such newly-invaded regions, i find myself climbing away via a downstairs crawl-space, such avoidance leading to a crowded little room where various communiques transpire; particularly discussion regarding a man-in-flight, a conversation during which i have noticed the larger structure to which the far smaller cabin seems related: perhaps constructed from leftovers of the larger, or constructed as temporary housing used while the larger was being built.

The two aforementioned horses meanwhile hang from one or more balloons in a place just outside, increasingly reminiscent of the steep valley beneath the home of the ceramicist, her cabinetmaker partner, and their two sons. Theirs' too originally a chicken coop -- though in This branch of experience, rather than That.

Further reflection leads to realizing such balloon(s) being of a more presumed nature, than provably actual ones, as it is (or they are) so high as to be unobservable; only the line holding them aloft being viewable, depending as though from - or at least passing through - clouds.

Understandable, then, that such steeds are sufficiently riled up, when finally we get them loose, that they depart with alacrative vigor necessitating my immediate leap toward so remarkably lengthy a fallen strand that has dropped to the ground, commencing a most rapid uncoil as they gallop away with its nether end, i managing to get to it, to wind its end about a tree before entirely gone. In the process realizing it not to be a chain, as i had momentarily perceived it.

Thereby are they restrained, more easily than the presumed car that allegedly struck Langley the Seeing-Eye Golden Lab, i soon noticing that the best i can do is to visualize him in good health as i pet him, without quite comprehending why it is so important that i do so while imagining him to have a sheen of youthful healthy fur.

In such manner -- per the unusual nature of what, Here, might be referred to as the passage of time -- petting him while so visualizing; it thereby coming to pass that his health is greatly improved.

[:[81]:]

List of quite a few of various Folk seemingly encountered:

AngelMobile = angelCar = twin-turbo Dodge Stealth.

attractive model of African heritage ; a minimally-encountered woman, vaguely interactively-familial in implication.

bell labs asic-designer-cum-45-calibre-duelist : so-named due to an actual pistol duel he related having in his youth on a USA-style football field in or near Colorado Springs. ASIC referring to application-specific integrated circuits. Part of a team I managed for a small startup in Boulder Colorado; his specialty being highly-complex logic circuits.

blonde graffiti artist of my acquaintance : the young man accused of drawing graffiti upon the school wall in 2^nd grade; quite the poet yet encountering drug-augmented difficulties as his time transpired

bubble-blowing ranger = bubble blowing psychic river-guide ranger

Bud Dha ~ my stepfather from five or so on up through a decade or two.

Captain Martial Artist Accupunctourist = martial artist accupunctourist.

Chinese American flamenco guitarist of yore.

Colorado Binary Bicyclist ; the "binary" part apparently referring to his coding skills, rather than anything related to gender predilictions.

d’Mileau = Milk da m'Uffin.

d’rastaMom : an unrecollected mother of a daughter

Game-theoretical backpacking economist.

Jeweleress = Smithsonian Jeweleress = Grecian Frisby Statue : excellent player of 3rd-grade jacks on rainy-day lunch-hours; a friend since 2nd or 3rd grade, some of her work in the Smithsonian.

hawaiian martial-artist acupuncturist surfer = MartialArtistAccupuncTourist :

‘i’ :

BoulderInFun(d)iTrust, Mr. : a quite nice fellow veering toward being a trust-funder in later years who, with his lovely wife and handsome son, had built a four-storey log cabin with a remarkably view of the Continental Divide upon some sweet road rising above the Boulder Canyon.

K_n : editorial expert, mother of Krippa.

Krippa : downward Kundalini.

Krippa's Pops.

neither-lover-nor-non-lover of the delightful wife of the belated trust-fund recipient

Next Apple R&D security professor = Brilliant PrimeNumber Algorithmician ; mathematician who worked for Steve Jobs on several projects, taught at Reed College, loaned me his Volvo one summer in the late 1960s.

Polka-dot Moonbeam: pug-nosed musician, teacher

quite good guy : High school competitive swimmer, violinist and, eventually, VP of computational hardware design.

street-person-mathematician from Boulder who helped paint j's & my house : Tended to tell stories of himself as someone of dangerous nature. Occassionally published in reputable journals, yet tended to panhandle and suchlike to make ends meet.

tour bus model's daughter: a veterinarian in This branch of experience

Peculiarities of Terminologies

gDao : the Tao in light of ever-fluctuating knowledge; somehow associated with the bliss to be found where such fluctuations are allowed to - some might say "encouraged to" - subside,

Characters not yet encountered

J's "reincarnated brother"

[1] briefly titled:
Behaviorally
Organicistic
Ontological
Kath'holou
, at which juncture this footnote cavalierly referred to
« personal experiences of varying dimensionality
otherwise known as
knowing via an existentially-experiential ontological epistemology
; sometimes considered a(n)
( sort of unsorted presort , ) smooth ( albeit mildly daft ) draft
bier »

[2] in the sense of a tao of wealths' lament : see also Siva seva as Shiva

^{^[3]} “ teh [sic] great muh [sic] ” ; these being the actual spellings as delivered and rendered therefrom .

[4] Our well-departed Lady of Smithsonian Jewelry.

[5] In the spirit of worry being interest paid on trouble before it comes due, per William R. Inge.

[6] Sometimes referred to as "the Here" or, more lazily, the mere "Here."

[7] Seeming the same noble semi-truck driver cum rodeo-winner with whom I was acquainted in 'my' late 20s or early 30s, met while earning a wage doing menial labor high in the Canadian Rockies, up many a dirt road beyond Dawson, he having passed away as a passenger in a small plane accident involving very limited visibility and a mountainside a year or two after that.

[8] within the mailboxes paper bleached white
besides which stands she in italic delight
. behind the mailboxes trees in dark night
ominous, it seems, to have triggered her fright
. cut 'm down she commands, who followed them soon
to her resting place just behind the moon

[9] Of course having little or nothing to do with kinematic evolutions of detachment folds, syncline hinges, nor anticline cores.

[10] Press the lips lightly together as though making a “mom” sound, then pull them inward while separating the teeth to allow the lips to move between them; “blow” the lips outward to make the “pop.” BubbleFish.

[11] Apparently apropos my observation, in a very early grade, that the activities of the kids a year younger than me, industriously playing within the sandbox at Homestead School, as had I a year earlier, were no longer compelling. Thus encountering what might have been considered a loss of innocence, though I perceived it merely as an indication of "getting older." In later years realizing it was also an example of "the natural evolution of personhood" in the sense of things that one had not long before found utterly compelling becoming only interesting-in-passing. Not that one might not stop and do a minute or two of sand-sculpting, perhaps even teaching a neophyte how to use hollow forms to shape structures, but that the greater extents of the schoolyard had become of far greater interest. This, a couple of decades later, led to the habit of considering dimensions to be grades. Thus, for example, we who are convinced we live out our lives in a predominately three-dimensional world might be considered to be inhabiting a third-grade state of evolution.

[12] The day before this vignette I overheard a conversation at a local pharmacy Here, between two young ladies who were wondering why they had not received all of their photographic prints back, the manager apparently having said that one of them had been considered "pornographic" due to her having had something "on her chest." That, in turn, put me in mind of one of my fantasies, a fantasy wherein I happen to be a fabled attorney who has come into a great fortune, and who enjoys taking on "trivial" cases wherein "the little guys” have had their inalienable rights trampled, yet no one else will take on the case due to its inconsequential nature.

[13] Or : aren't who we are , just an art of not being we who :
or : transitional laws , gender traditions as :

[14] Santa Rosa, or between Forestville and Guerneville, or Sebastopolish, in decreasing order of likelihood.

[15] Somewhat interesting that, the next time I read this snippet - while placing it into "The 2nd Edition" 23 years plus a day and a half later - J & I had, for the first time - perhaps six hours earlier - done just such a thing Here (in Normative Reality), while exploring pleasant walking trails and path on and near the hillier parts of the local university.

[16] Romanian for flower and garden and flowers and, latter, “floricica,” (little flower, yet there should be a “u” over the last a, and over both the a’s in gradina)

[17] Footnote presumably plagiarized:
In that life, the Pie Indian Life, when you were my older sister by your very own father, sitting there reading your mail, Corsie just across from you while paying you no mind whatsoever; that same occasion when you passed out due to your bodice being way too tight. Your good friend meanwhile screaming as Kendoll comes runnin' in, takin’ liberties with your bodily form: lifting you up and about, getting your head upside down, ripping open your blouse buttons when he couldn’t get the hundred little things undone.
It wasn’t funny with drool coming from your mouth and all, but I did laugh behind my hand anyhow, though appalled 'cause all those buttons needing being sewn back on and such.
I don’t think that was the same day you went racing down about the meadow near the trees with the marshy grass, bellowing though I, as you, flogged your poor horse who may be the same horse we keep up in the mountains now, now that I think of it, and ‘twas just a few days earlier, on the weekend, when Kendoll would brush by you in that snaky surreptitious manner he had back then – not like this life – touching your shoulder and your knee and annoying you no end, yet here he is now saving your life, and doctor Youthen certainly agreed he had -- yet somehow everything got skewered up while your irritation apparently turned toward hatred -- so eventually he gave up on you and started that wild ranch behind the Pocahoes or whatever they're named; some other sort of life with some other type of wife.
Yeah, that must’ve been a different day; but sometimes I wonder anyhow, now and again, if the two of you might’n’t’ve been far happier together. I being too young to suggest any such thing, of course, and now we’re both women again and what with me being sometimes your lover, yet no one seems to know or less care which version of existence you want to change that, in any event, I don’t prefer to.
Besides, the one we've jokingly named Kendoll I think is now has incarnated as that Trader with the white Rolls Royce, and you speak as though you despise him still, which I guess you do though probably not recollecting why, but I also see the admiration in your eyes at his golden touch. Or is it more a form of twisty envy blended into his stranger flavor upon the tip of your tongue, as also comes to mind, but it would be impolite to…
I s’pose, thinkin’ ‘bout it now, it mostly smells like a milder sort of lust standing there among wisteria and the lovely trellis shadows scattered all along that tropical cream suit that favors you so, divorced from your anger as I slip away between leaves of a close moistness, clinging skirts to legs after so warm a foggy mist, returning now as you know I must yet somehow ignore, to my loving husband who knows not so much of making love, though once I was convinced he must.
Later, when he desires to penetrate yet again my mind with his peculiar knowledge, besouled android as I now know or at least strongly suspect him of being, after his return from the Brightside Mercury, his scholarly lips passing some joke as to how man might set foot upon the sun prior to the sun stamping out Man, amid many other paragraphs and phrases passingly alluding to librarians on Vulcan, adding “Henri Bergson considers space a mode of our intellect, time a mode of our imagination, precise coordination arising from the nineteenth hole where multiplicity encounters memory's intuitions unto this very moment,” as though an actual quote. Either that of the nineteenth century and, although I forget, I nonetheless aspire eternally to be the humble and nonetheless approximately perfect wife asking as though inadvertently, “Is this then a symbolic or non-symbolic reality?”
He rubs my shoulders lightly and somehow I do feel strangely drawn into that familiar dream where he’s barely touching me as I float asleep, answering “Ah; and what precisely is our 'reality? to which you allude'”
I turn slightly toward him in those few moments, inadvertently catching him during the changing, happening to notice how he’s almost finished with such changings. In such moments typically a slender and almost adolescent young man looking somewhere between or beyond my eyes; rather the blend of almost-angel and a soon-to-be-hero.
…………

[18] Something to do with chakravarti(/y) as universal monarch(s), king(s) of kings and suchlike.

[19] Comment: As of the moments of transcription, I did not recall much in the way of coherently linear telepathic conversations with any non-humans prior to the experience in question.

[20] Where "once or more" resembles n+1.

[21] Originally posted as a resemblance to "19970925.0526’pdt’usa’oregon’corvallis’ahSat@:" Night before last something ‘bout Tam High competitive swimmer and ... ?"

[22] A number of years later I learned she had suffered through some variety of cancer which, if one elects to undergo chemotherapy, can leave the hair very short, though I never attempted to follow up and ascertain whether there had been a possible connection at the time of the dream.

[23] αισθάνεται ευχάριστα

[24] For, for those who accept (and insist on) Christ as the one and only Acceptable Manifestation of God - or (to the outrage of those with their Honest to God Myth most firmly intact) Goddess - as contrasted with those considering all entities to be children - or (cue more outrage) well-delineated incarnations - of God, in contrast to one who believes that only they have the one right answer (in contrast to those who consider it all a bunch of malarkey) – apparently a primary identifier of most religions and, in particular, those variously righteously (Though which flavor of righteousness? Episcopalian? Catholic? Protestant? ) affiliating with the "belief" in "Jesus" (which was of course neither his actual spoken nor written name) as the only acceptable Child of God (not to mention similar definitions applicable to many Hindus, Gnostics, Jews for Jesus, and so on. (If there is a better way to make this footnote logically consistent yet more difficult to parse, please let me know.)

[25] In such a case post drugs forming a naturally prosthetic state of consciousness; arising and flickering forward in a manner implying observing other possibilities concerning comprehensions amid chaos; confusions unraveled unto a semblance of lucidity, such moments somber highlit.
Living thus in such a time, wherein drugs align with categories of acceptability – wondering whether ever there was a time in which naturally-occuring biochemical substances did not, whether haphazardly or deliberatively.
Each such substance thus modified these shadows of temples, we derivative beings as if incarnate while not, temples formed from templates laid down via our and our parent’s higher dimensions to be enjoyed and lamented by those so benefited, though avoided once become capable of endeavoring onward andor inward upon newly-formed versions of ever-modifying sensibilities of self.
For, elsewise, dependencies arose as might any other certainty of confusion nucleating about the points of utterly important and utterly meaningless; insomuch as one finds themselves concerned with discovering freedom from suffering in its various stations.
Their drugs thus formed of dependencies of conceptualization :– for example asking oneself whether four such truths - each such experience of transcendence - is genuine, or merely another epiphenomenon of previous mutualities of organically-chemicallous interpenetration: the incursion of this substance or that, unlocking the bio-lock unto that slumber - resembling death - or slumber-resembling death . Unlocking the clock hypothesized as conjoined bio-keyed disconnects merely transcending boundaries of what commonly are considered life and death, linkages of consciously forgotten lifetimes, or khammical tale regarding links of binding and un- - a paradoxical perchance lending to having led each to so being; unbound.

[26] In such event, little note might be made of such a one as some alleged author of your yore, other than via efficiencies occurring as resultants of enduring curryings of flavor, or was it favor? Meanwhile, about such deep, though strangely, twilit darknesses of deeply-attenuated noonlight ignoring all that as has been meanwhile-posited, deep in such a scene of kissings therein absorbed as saliva struck by a bolt from the blue of lightening twilit scenes of lovers amidst presumably deeper meanings, indicated as fuller and more preponderant emotions nonetheless intersecting the moving surface wave of foam across any deeper depth's strangely surging sleep.
If that were then true, that there existed such - P300 waves - evoked by exogenous components of experience, might not there also be endogenous evocations or, for others, androgynous meditations, dreams, thoughts, fantasies of forever-forged far friendly farewells? Has anyone checked?
Checked as might said lightning bolt check the schroedengerian box of mentations of electron cloud homes upon previously-bucolic hillsides?
Task-relevant events, after all, are not merely a manifestation of this reality, but purposefully arise also in the purported Inner World.
Or ignore all that and, however similarly, ask whether it is not yet established that the P300 varies inversely with the probability associated with - or by the individual generating - said wave goodbye to an event eliciting its arousal.
Yet is it not yet well-established that, in the presence of two such stimuli, the less-likely event shall trigger the larger P300?
Similarly, the mythic, manifesting both exogenously and endogenously, as if to posit Thus:
Mind states, non-normal, characteristics of intentionality of spontaneously-induced induction of revelations' intentionalities of induction per drugs, hypnosis, spontaneous outcomes induced by intentional effort regarding meditation, sufi dancing, societal valuations and their editings, distress, societal drug usages re uncontrolled emotional outbursts of, for example distress, individual, or neurosis and phobia, distresses both individual and societal; for that matter mental illness and its benefits societal, such as the perfect performance of psychological geniuses of mind-body benefit both societal and individual, particularly in their creative transients of transcendence. “disassociative states” such as: disassociativeness of dreams' most unusual physics, consensual realities or unusual senses of self via disassociativenesses described as of out of body experiences in the sense of self sans proper respect for normative space-time continua, Freud having soon enough abandoned various clinically-disassociative aspects of hypnosis in the sense of mind dissociated from will, though as yet unaware of disassociativene aspects of samadhi in the sense of mind dissociated from - unbound by - the small incarnate self and its ever mutating self-image. Thus arriving as if at some threshold of permanent disassociativeness via Nirbikalpa Samadhi. As though there were no exiting an eternal extrapolation of etcetera.

[27] Anne Heche.

[28] The next day, while bike riding, a blonde hiker and I suddenly meet at a confluence of trails. She says, “Hello, hello!” and I respond, “How’s it going?” yet keep on riding around the bend through the trees to the top of the hill and onward, without pause.
Perhaps pausing would have been appropriate, had it not been for ships passing in the night and the custom of remaining predictably consistent when unexpectedly moving past strangers in close proximity.

[29] "bRidge" being Briar Ridge apartments.

[30] Co-incarnates in the sense of coin-carnates of the (aforementioned?) Mammon Realm; per logical motifs of most any Prosperity Gospel.

[31] Bruce Willis.

[32] In similarly vane vein, more mere futile labours suggest a bottom-boring bard belabors by barbed beration boresome board's behaviors.

[33] Comment: Leonardo thoughts arrived while subsequently creating a painting of similar derivation; involving woman and man both.
Music as eclectic and music as ain’t any further non-linear anti-coda ~ for any singular aficionado desirous of greater ambiguity.

[34] : neither round table :
. most remarkable of women presumably though not necessarily previously several girls having faded in each her manner from memory while as yet she and the thee thinking itself to be the scribal pecking one await the craft , the ship that prefers being called a boat coming in and , doing so , manages to be rather a wrong ship piloted by a rude scrappy fellow dropping his refined , fabricated , utilized , abandoned or merely stolen ores , now metals along our scrap of shore as yet remains , a heroic anti anti-hero appearing arising as though pre-existing in this his Adonis manner seen to be not merely upon the scene but moving up and down the improperly vertical pole no greater in girth than a strong man’s chest : your garden-of-eden-variety super-heroic car-lift pole , lifting and hugging this wayward son without any totality of terror , though eyes three times their usual height above the ground within which our upside down self is not reflected as though the ground were a perfect mirror
. .
then yet again once the more
.

[35] : impeccable implausible :
. well versed in the vice of imagining however you wish some slight campus hovering upon the more northwestern shore , set amidst shiny brass banisters in the manner of leaning toward a greater knowledge – knowledge as play , divine learning play ,, though all ought decide for themselves , multiply or singularly as is each our wont – leaning thus opaquely from floor to floor and floor once more each climbing clamberer upon wide open steppes among grander sets of genderless stairwells plus other strangely rambunctious plans while meanwhile a mind flits where possibilities of each so great a slide on down , one or two of each , such a set of pinnacles , amid most any lost edifice or versā vice .

. thus just up there beyond yon high glass cupola adorned in agglomerations of brass sculpturals , most monumental in the aggregate and so lovely when taken each by itself , at least one reminiscent of that yogic bust of said woman similar of posture the plough , the immense enough realm , these few moments lounging about upon the beneath of too pleasantly lovely a brass assed similarity , of which at least one lower back shelters within so natural a hood of wavy brass hair , all too soon parted in the expensive manner , dearly burnished glutei out upon her bodily plaza ; lost within too strange this comfort , bands fallen as light from heaven , angel-adorned partialities unto a wholeness overflowing with presumptive forms – we – though in such replicative event entirely ribald and uncouth as though yet another cosmic joke propagating out upon or , more likely , via students at lounge amid mildly engorged auras of senior scholastics plus sundry ironic minions too well-threaded and snugly so – some might say tightly constrained – as though thus confined each unto its immaculately-fitting implausible station of each such ongoing caste , brazen in representations so formed .

[36] Candace B. Pert, author of one of the books I was reading at the time,.

[37] My tendency at the time being that of subsuming "pain" as an aspect of dukkha, and dukkha as comparable to a still wind that is perceived as moving more vigorously against one, the more one vigorously pushes ahead, in the manner of a bicyclist or an aircraft encountering a headwind that "inexplicably" slows down the more they do, somehow "knowing" how to always oppose one's progress. If one is tending to consider such subjects in terms of Good and Evil forces, then it becomes reasonable to perceive such resistance as the evil thwarting one's good intentions. There being an ancillary, digressionary, discussion* to be had regarding whether "evil entities" perceive themselves as such, or whether they too feel righteously motivated in their endeavours.
* digrussion? discgrussion?

[38] Comment: The Smithsonian Jeweleress's illicit lover was an announcer at the local radio station.

[39] An odd - many would posit dysfunctional - way to refer to one's current birth mother.

[40] i like bird and
like you ditto.

i left that place
, dirt and rub

to be here preying on
lotus east barely of
tea-shrub knees of feat who

leaves post-its 'neath
so solemn , trees ; thus

found i thus this ditty so , as

though to please any annoyingly
laughingly-infinite sea
: ha plus ha-ha too tea-he drunk ; tee-hee

[41] In quantum field theories (QFT), represented by amplitudes in Feynman diagrams, such amplitudes embody both magnitude and phase, wherein vector-addition yields resultant movement. In such a schema, repulsion or attraction are merely differing aspects of constructive or destructive interference. Some might consider such a view to be equivalent to up-spin attraction and down-spin attraction, or other forms of tantric physics involving upward-pingala and downward-ida. Extending such an idiosyncratic view, electrical charge-polarity may be posited as an intense local variation, the polarity of such charge equating to a tendency or pull toward past or future. A weird set of words regarding past-ward future-ward worlds.

[42] Alternatively:
Stating how, in more primitive lands, a young man, in pursuit of the young woman of his desires, adroitly whacks thrice upon an inner courtyard wall ; so graceful his scimitar.
To have comprehensively developed such skills as these, perceived as though his own, that he may further the wishes of the comprehension of his relationship with what and whom he considers both his, and also his Creator’s; perhaps also in passing conquer some random empire.
Posited thus such studies regarding invisibility have some uses.
Similarly, more recent news, various views unraveled as transcribed, examples including Death Existing to Alleviate. To alleviate From. From this difficulty wherein; this implication of cessation sweeping across the face of cessation.
Having said so much, as much kindling an aphorism as the very cessation of, if not it, then a sometimes delightful yet always derivative physical form.
Cessation too of the immediately visceral.
Knowing such a bodily form as yet another derivation over there among multitudes of such. Facets of the greater self misidentified as temporally-linear separate lives.
Writ by Thine humble servant, yet another derivative of a derivative of Your Transcendent Integral State, Whut.

[43] Have not heard of P400 waveforms in quite some time now. Or was it an N400?

[44] I did, however, get the basic VFR pilots license, but soon realized it would be more of a commitment than I had time for to go the next step: instructor andor commercial rating.

[45] throw of devicery :
   .
    fecund
re
    cycles
of
    enlivenings' deep
or earth extractions
and contrivances
    mobile
or
    statements
re
   discarded terminologies
in soothing
   disarray
.

[46] . dumpster diver, sometimes psycho
recycles random motorcycle
. bodybuilder abandons luck
picks up random garbage truck
. discard our nations' engines of discord,
they're what our planet can no longer afford

[47] ζητήματα εγκατάλειψης ~ "zitimata enkataleipsis"

[48] Or "Illicit Dreaming" by Sigmund Freud and Charles Dodgson.

[49] To assist those treating these matters as dream-constructs in entirety, along with the transcription was a comment to the effect of "Day-before-yesterday (Monday) I helped our mother get my younger brother to his dental appointment; a difficult adventure in that he apparently passed out during his visit, an ambulance was called, and the hospital soon diagnosed his being the recipient of a sarcoma, soon enough determined to be exuding from his nostrils and empty eye sockets. Said brother's friendly local mechanic was visiting at the local hospital upon my arrival last night, and had a long tail or que of hair hanging down; I have almost invariably found said mechanic to be of consistently abrasive nature. I went over to our mother's place after the hospital visit and attempted to comfort Aura, the remarkably diminutive Siamese cat; walking about with her cradled in my arms."

[50] : story , mammalian :

a girl actually
a young woman in particular
walks sometimes
her little park
her sweet town , little
her living therein
her delightful family
her friends
.
from time to time
take walks for pleasure , merely
being in pleasant weather, late afternoon
walking more often along
when considering something of concern
problem, tough
life , hers , problem , solve
.
afternoon , this in particular
pathway , pleasant , strolling
pathway , formed from
a hard substance straight , true
considering such challenges
life presenting
challenges too as lye ahead
many learnings to yet occur
things of the mind
things of the spirit
things of the bodily form
.
things so many such
miracle , some sort , specific to
circumstances ultimate , each and every one , accomplish
.
straight and narrow path , walking along so
thought , deep in
things these and other , upon , pondering
thoughts , feelings , so very many
absorbed so very
conscious mind , her’s
noticing , scarcely
bushes , sounds
her , behind
her , to one side
mind , hers , trusting
feelings , hers ,trusting
.
danger , no sense of
something recognized nonetheless as
animal large some sort
deer perchance
elk possibly even
animal , large , hoofed
curiosity , similar
.

[51] Other words without opposites include: debunk, defenestrate, dejected, disconsolate, disgruntled, disheveled, dismayed, feckless, gormless, impetuous, impromptu, inane, incessant, inchoate, incognito, incommunicado, indomitable, ineffable, inept, inert, infernal, inhibited, insidious, insipid, insouciant, intact, invert, misgivings, misnomer, nonchalant, noncommittal, nondescript, nonpareil, ~~nonplussed,~~ unbeknownst, ungainly, unnerved, unswerving, untold, untoward,

[52] : edible complex :
walking down seaside hill on sidewalk past bicycle-mongers
– suspect how they wish only to rent bikes
that they might acquire
credit card information, though no reason other than their demeanor so to think
– we who enter after a while into this funkiness of building so beneath restaurant
.
therein the several movable elements of architecture
, one long and narrow, a hallway that, after being entered
, is lifted to become ramping corridor
.
dining partner travels well ahead
, embraced by the ambience of … ? our guide
.
we enter through various doors
through kitchen
, past matronly asian lady with back turned
, her willowy young daughter
, sitting on such a floor as creates this remarkable edible sculpture
.
soon finding ourselves in restaurant
, perhaps with an ocean view
tables in somewhat cramped
proximity, pew-like perhaps
.
food is this and that
, eventually light-haired graffiti artist of distant visage
, with whom once attempted to hitchhike to NYNY in the yore
, appeared with the desert he’s made
, upright phallus-shaped custard with crumb coating resting upon its testicular throne

it’s a happy sort of apparition and
, though I have no desire to partake
, it nonetheless has that slightly mocking humorous
celebratory character
.
he hands it over somewhat surreptitiously
, leading me to consider the possibility that
, in his role as sculptor-of-desserts
, this is not
the normal order of business
.
M d’Muffin subsequently leaves with her dinner-mate
; she was of rather different appearance
, larger, a somewhat formless chin, cursed slightly with nondescript character
. neither she nor her partner meet my eyes on their way out
, exit stage right
, through a mere more proper door
.
it is not particularly clear how we shall pay for
such a meal
and things commence morphing into
brilliant colors, sleek sports clothing
, bicyclists playing soccer
…
in such sense elsewhere
,   this              the Transformation
creating            the things and,
in subset worlds of incompletion
,    recreated per the need of
                    the time of
                    the place.

    thus, in such manner,
          in such moments wherein
                    the I so happens to be
, to notice             I am
                    the Lord of Death or any such entity
,                        sub-entity
,   that might variously be named
         Transformative Principle
,        Zero-point Intersecting Energy
,   this the
         inDisReCombobulator
.

[53] With whom, Here, in our late teens or so, I hitchhiked toward New York, New York - he rather resembling a precursor to Curt Cobain - staying at Antioch in Yellow Springs Ohio (I for decades recollecting it as having been located in Ann Arbor Michigan, another place we had spoken of travelling to) a week or two, he remaining considerably longer with a university lady holding him in close favor as I continued on, almost immediately encountering massive roadside snow banks next to which no one wished to stop whereupon, turning southward, eventually illegally crossing the US-Mexican border by hiking across miles of very dark ranchlands upon the moonless night, flagging down a bus early the next morning, having slept fretfully upon a low desert hillock serenaded by coyotes. Thence to Guanajuato, staying some severality of few weeks with a handsome New York playwright - uncle of a friend - and his lovely girlfriend, eventually hitching north, to once again illegally cross. Eventually hiking down the black hillside, burnt all the way from the knoll below Childhood's Home up to Panoramic Highway.

[54] A couple of decades later I, Here, not-quite-chanced upon a relatively recent photograph, apparently taken during an office party. Said description having, sadly, proven rather prophetic.

[55] Chinese-American Flamenco guitarist of yore, rebuilder of the Model T he let me drive southward along Paradise Drive - it requiring a most considerable, and thus memorable, muscularity to turn its steering wheel; his brother perhaps an even more gifted guitarist. They all - including their mother - when I knew him, living very close to the College of Marin.

[56] Even unto ten years later, that hugging shoulder – although not as numb as was immediately so following the encounter described, nonetheless remains in ongoing pain, though of course ascribed to purely-physical causes such as arthritis.

[57] For those enjoying a somewhat more intense sense of convolution:
Perhaps such unhelpful disbelievers get a certain sense of empowerment by avoiding learning how to form their thought-forms so as to contribute to bringing about a more helpful consensus situation whereby others might be thought of - though not by them - as merely other versions of themselves, and therefore worthy of attaining a fulfillment of potentials.

[58] An actual pistol duel he related having in his youth. If memory serves it occurred on a(n American-style) football field; quite possibly in or near Colorado Springs. ASIC referring to application-specific integrated circuit. He being part of a team I managed for a small startup in Boulder Colorado, his specialty being highly-complex logic circuits.

[59] Reminescent of the monk yelling across to the other monk on the swollen river's far side, "How do I get over to the other side?"
The hollered reply of course being, "You already are on the other side!"

[60] – les ailes de cygne de ballerina.

[61] There was a subsequent tendency to think "the animal" was in some sense me, as though the villainy was a bespoke parable as to about how I was or am treating someone or something.
For example, things didn’t get worse until I started chatting about them; or did they get worse first? In such states causality - even a notion of time - is often unclear or indeterminate.
Last night on TV (were) yawning hippopotami. When Smithsonian Jeweleress stopped by the night before last on her way north to be with her old friend - who she and I "arranged the marriage of" to our old friend, the Reed College Professor of Apple Computer fame - while said wife gave birth, we went to Lyons and I had some fish, my first entity flesh in a couple of months.
Also yesterday, J and I bought a white oblate ceramic-on-metal tea kettle in Eugene, an intriguing bit of mundane technology.

[62] Might not an absurdist portmanteau arisen of such previous visions then resemble "previousioning?"

[63] Meaning Bill Gates the Great.

[64] In the sense of we humans tending to quantize into such self-aggregating clusters as though doing so happens to be an inherent attribute of our natures. That, in turn, lending itself to hierarchical overlays based on dominance games, ranking in the herd, and so forth.

[65] The Tiburon of Southeast Marin County, California.

[66] : frozen smoke :
. the
real
doctor
mcCoy emulates
upon each suggestion a frigid
air inside a wise and other
alien van , otherwise
looking again
as might any so realizing
so slim an
exclamation
.
either
doing this
merely of cigarette smoke made or
air so cold he chanced to
blow his breath away in
surmising each female singularity
accompanying him in
stinger-spiked beehive
hairdo ; her self-portraying
indubitable precise unto being
such an
alien
.

[67] : things of thighs :
as a living example of a heading's footnote larger than any subsequent assemblage of text or
the human form itself
angel-car too has
various peculiar problems
… when the end might arrive
is somewhat uncertain
… there really is no choice
but to keep on driving it gently
hoping it shall not fail in
catastrophic manner
… Leaf Range in
Japanese straight line
trail all along
the midline of “leaf” as
the route of
pilgrimage
… not the dear grouping
and thus Mount Fuji
but the much more regular
route … and so , a guest in their house
it seemed impolite to secrete a video camera just across the room from where … was it the uncle or the father who so fondled the young Japanese woman
hardly more than a girl (who herself seemed to both rather enjoy and be repelled by it) … and was that the same young lady next to whom e now sat
slightly older
having returned from a quick visit to his sister and her mate – the mate who grasped his arm in a manner slightly too appreciative? Having had no particular predilection or presumption one way or the other… Nonetheless
things transpired in a friendly enough manner … his sister told him that she’d gotten over the problem of “being bi
” which e had no response to
for he had never known her to be bi
nor would have cared had he known. Returning to his seat he rested his leg upon the young Japanese woman’s thigh and gave her a reassuring squeeze – knowing
unlike others thereabout
that S would not particularly care.

For
once you introduce the notion of good karma and bad kharma
you have in effect introduced the notion of God and anti-God (or +God and –God)
embedded deeply within each individual
as an integral most high
of which each supposed individual is an instantiation
a derivative…

[68] Several years later I learned, while visiting him at his home in Portland, Oregon, that he had been working on Federally-funded mathematical modeling of large-scale catastrophic urban/suburban scenarios related to subsequent propagation- and mortality- -rates and .

[69] Who got serious and buckled down to the hard work of obtaining a PhD in chemistry after flipping his VW Bug upside-down, with both of us hanging upside-down from our seatbelts; I in the passenger seat laughing uproariously - from his point of view presumably psychopathically - due to our teetering upon the berm delineating the very edge of Panoramic Highway a short ways Southwest of Mountain Home Inn, upon the cusp of a seemingly sheer drop into the forested watershed of Fern Creek. We both releasing our belts, dropping to the ceiling, exiting, then rolling his vehicle upright; spent less time hanging out together after that.

[70] It has been pointed out (Dr. Clifford Davies) that some of the character-traits of a man or woman with “adulteristic” tendencies are: leaving the door open and the lights on when leaving a room, playing practical jokes on others, being in debt, having little or no sympathy for the plight of deceased animals along the roadside, enjoyment in observing one’s own reflection in mirrors, and a propensity to be late for appointments. Others have added additional factors, such as the need for constant thrills, a fear of commitment, difficulty taking criticism, surface charm masking a poor self-image, and a puer- (or puella-) -eternis notion of staying forever young and free.

[71] gDao; more commonly Tao.

[72] The first drive through window at a restaurant is said to have been at the McDonald's in Sierra Vista, AZ, installed so the soldiers from Ft. Huachuca could get food, the base having a regulation prohibiting anyone in uniform from entering a business establishment. Convenience and desire-fulfillment; midwifes of invention.

[73] 0194 20000831’0309’utc’usa’or’corvallis’iZone
attempted postfactualization
:
unlike geese
in meditation      The Raven
, whose shadow last week
   transpired,   transgressed, (r)egressed upon
– this afternoon The Raven       visited just above
on that ledge up there
, where the roof comes into
   formation {
as
if
on
to
an essence, the nature
of the being
of            unbeing
in any sense allowing
an impossibility :   substan tiality
we so adore our            ce addictions
or
do
we          not
so behave
in such manner
or another, not that ravens fly typically
in formation }
.
so our children either behave
in a way {
          night-chute demons
       or ladder-day saints
          }
we find utterly shocking
or our children behave
in a manner most
   palatable
.
   words we delineate as clever points via which
to form the lines forming scales, the spectra, the scope
of the octave of acceptable
   possibility
.
is tempted
to invent
a word : possibilitization in meanwhile
   drop
we a classic form, frozen
at room temperature and pressure our standardized dream,
in a dream about underpinnings
of dynamical structures
, which are reports from travelers
: doorways between levels
, the nature of paradox and
the place of paradox
as chute and
as ladder
.

[74] Reminds me this of Portents in a keg, written in froth,
on the outer reach of the here-in-the-now, that frothing surface implying infinitudes, though there is in fact a considerable difference to the
here and there of a mathematician;
a momentary foment, a spasm,
a dreg dredged forth,
among shadows of reflections
forming a ditto constraining a jingle (so)
sombre (a) change within a head formed of two hands with
hands appearing to be a matched set of heads; no that’s not it
despite tea-leaf remembrances or foretold
belles most lissome and such men as they’ve wrung(ed).
Peace thus, and semblance; semblance to
remembrance as though we are merely
fragmented pieces of forgotten a unity, strangely undressed in
mantles of retroflection, molten robes yet
without any knowledge of having been in any particular state
- such as this one - of non-being.
International are thus these tribes of we
, languages apart and never dying, always mutating as
meanwhile their speakers
come and
go
.

[75] Was pondering yesterday the comment expressed to her mom, upon her imparting a dance seminar some few months ago, likely due to having noticed a woman seeming quite similar to the daughter in question, mixed with characteristics of RockyMountainConsultantMon’s girlfriend professor the last evening I was in Boulder. As she got up to leave when I did, I offered to take her glass, placing it in the sink before walking out the back way.
Yesterday also gave rise to a smidge of pondering as to how it may be more difficult for a woman in today’s sociopolitical climate to acquiesce in any unconditional way to a man as was moreso in yore - particularly in any overt way. And how, as unintended consequence, such trends may tend to also unravel or confound certain aspects of the seemingly-unrelated guru-disciple sort.

[76] Reminescent of 490 Camino del Cañon, deliberately deconstructed back into nature - along with the rest of our familial holdings - along what was then a mile-long dirt road that bifurcated just above our childhood home.

[77] Transcription of a most vivid - very real-seeming - out-of-body style experience just after experiencing it in (as if in) the little apartment-kitchen of BRidge.

[78] D’Mileau - witness, cook, landscape architect - occasionally espoused an odd fondness for that purportedly brilliantly-evil criminal.

[79] Comment 1: J and I were talking about my "D’irt and d’Mileau *loving-kindness* dream-experience" of the other night before going to bed, how to interpret such things in this oft negative-seeming world, and how to interpret such experiences in general. Likely ending up agreeing that there is a need to say “yes” when possible - on behalf of enjoining the experiences we come Here to experience - while remaining aware of the rules, mores, and potential-harms of This world.
Comment 2: A few days later, on the evening of 19971028, J and I were at a local café after her workday and, just behind her, such that she visually appeared to be “emerging out of” J -- was a woman who was strongly reminiscent of - though perhaps a decade older than - d'Milieu, talking to a girl friend while wearing a gloopy lost wax gold ring on both the ring finger and little finger of her left hand. Quite animated and verbal, though blue eyes rather than brown -:- easily recollected as we made direct eye contact a couple of times, accompanied by a momentarily intense sense of everywhere eyes. Or merely a recognition as though fleetingly encountering an old friend from another existence.

[80] Who studied with Tarsky, happened to run the Math Library at U.C. Berkeley, and milled timber while his wife worked on the stained-glass windows of a Tibetan Religious Center in Northern California.

[81] Peculiarly proximal comment found near the peculiarities described:
(1) Glossy magazines, glossy fur. Animals in distress. To understand suspend your conscious thought and relax into a state of knowing, a state of understanding without judging.
(2) Meanwhile avoid those who consider the Source of Grace to be “not nice” for, strangely, they will manifest against you in a way which tends to make their beliefs come true.

Saturday, December 31, 2022

sleeps the sculptor

Saturday, July 31, 2021

Saturday, July 17, 2021

E(xpe)dition the Second : Meditations Upon Experiential Explorations : AKA Dreams Two , Rough Draft the First , ( approximately) fourth edition andor version of Edition the Second ; see also [:[1]:] { : ¿ , ? : }